Twice as nice !!!

You were far away      

In my thoughts
I had flung you
Out of bounds from my universe

Not because of hatred

But because of fear

That if I remembered

I will love you more than myself

It wasn’t easy
I knew I was being

Unkind to myself

A torment unspeakable

There was a time

When the world was merrier

Just because

Of your presence

Everywhere I turned

Images of you conjured up
Gave the zing to my step

and a song to my soul.

But I decided to change

Lived in self denial

For reasons beyond my control

I moved on

But life had other plans

I had to meet you, fleetingly though

Memories came flooding back

This time twice as nice.

Vincy Joseph

P.S : This is my humble attempt at Poetry. I am a novice at this.  Any resemblance to incidents that connects u & me, imaginary or real, is purely intentional J

Trying to get it off my chest !

I read this somewhere recently, definitely in the virtual space and it instantly tugged at my heart strings.  It persistantly stayed on, appearing from nowhere into my thought streams every now and then quite annoyingly and just does not go away from the back of my mind.

Putting it down here as an effort to get it off my head and..hmmm.. my heart as well.

" Why am I worried about losing you when you are not even mine? "

Blessings come in many packages... you definitely are one of the best !!

For more than a couple of years I have been wanting to wirte a blog post about one of the most important people in my life. Wirting needs that urge to pour out and words then just flow out automatically when a blog topic comes to the mind (atleast in my case) There were many times when I wanted to write about this good friend and for reasons not even known to me I had put off writing this blog for a long time now.

Even before I introduce this friend to you all ( it is as though, I have a great fan  following for my blogspace, that I address my readers with so much flamboyance, pardon my silly fantasies :-), I am well aware I hardly have any, and the number of people visiting the blog post increases just because I keep visiting this space that often ..  LOL ), coming back to the point in discussion, my friend, I have a little note for her.

Did I tell you that I am so grateful that you are in my life?

I do not say it enough, but it is not because I do not feel it. It is hard putting in words, what you mean to me
There are so many things you do, that add up to a big part of my life
I love you and just wanted you to know

:-) :-) :-)

One of the most vibrant, chattering, ever-smiling, smart, intelligent, stylish, supportive, caring, kind and loving human being. Her memories are such a comfort and the very mention of her name brings in Peace to my mind.  If there is anything closer to unconditional love, it is the bond that we share with each other,  She always brought a smile to anyone who she came in touch with, even at the cost of hiding her own worries.

 

This blog is  about my good friend Anita.  I am smiling when I key in her name and thats the effect she has on me. I truly beleive that she is one the blessings from above.  We met professionally and it didnt take too long for us to hit it out together as freinds.  Since our relationship started professionally and we were at the same level at work, we did have differences at work and we fought tooth and nail about  certain work related issues  occasionally until one of us were convinced.  But as I mentioned that was not frequent and we knew we were a team and we stood together.  So, it was not surprising, when others in our team dealt with us they knew we were more friends than colleagues.

 

The more sweeter memories that I have about Anita is all the wild shopping we have done at Bangalore ( commerical street), Hyderabad ( general Bazaar) and in Pune ( Lakshmi market?). Our work had taken us to multiple places and we travelled a lot both in trains and flights.  We were so comfortable in each others' company and amidst so many colleagues, I could distinctly see her as my friend among a pack of colleagues.

I still remember the NLP programme that we went together and it was on my birthday and she made me feel so special.  While I have scores of memories about her, a funny one that often comes to my mind was when we both travelled together to Hyderabad ( I guess it is to hyd) and there was so much turbulence that particular day in the flight and both held our hands so tightly and we almsot thought that was our last flight.  And in between we were also gigling so hard.  Amidst all those giggles, Anita was telling me ( and  that was also the time we had moved into our independant new house) Vincy, you know what, the insurance for fliers who die in an aircraft crash, is so high .. just imagine  Joe ( my husband) can clear all the housing loan and they ( my bubby and son) will have a new house, a new mommy,, just imagine that Vincy.. and in between all that turbulence, we were actually pissing in our pants and we were laughing.. oh what fun...

At work Anita was one of the most capable people I have seen, most networked, tech savvy and gets work done in a Jiffy.  Be it our discussions about our childrens eduation or bitching about a lot of people who worked with us ( oh we did a great deal of that) or working together or an assigment, we thoroughly enjoyed it. It is almost as if she is part of my family.

It was pure Joy travelling with her, we kept joking, laughing and basically enjoyed life with each other. I knew I loved her so much when she decided to move to China for professional reasons and when her mom who was as desperate as me, called me to ask if she has reached China and I just broke down and we were crying over the phone. and I knew I will miss this woman like hell.. and sure I did.

After she left to China, it was as though a part of me went missing and I felt so alone and there was sense of loneliness.  Our chat lines and phone helped us survive. Today we both have left our earlier organisations, we are in different places of the globe, she in Singapore and me in Chennai separated by miles but closer at heart. 

We interact with each other regularly, ( thank technology for that ) and last week I had a mail from her which was crisp and just one question.  Do you remember this comb?

This was a Roots comb that I had given Anita some years back.

And she also followed it up with another mail.
I use it in office … :-) Its on my desk always !!

I truly feel so blessed that destiny has helped our lives cross each others' and my life is enriched because
Anita is my friend. 

Love you Always!!

She & Me

Helpless listening

What do you do when a friend who is going through a personal emotional struggle calls you and tells some of the greif that the person is going through?  I just listened.  completely  ..with all my attention. 

As I listened to this conversation, a myriad set of emotions were going through me..  helplessness, sadness, empathy, you know what, I so wanted to be just there for this friend to be of some form of consolation.. but I guess I did nothing.. I just listened.

And then I realised what a wonderful friend I have in this person.  I was so proud to have this person as a good friend.  Being an independant consultant for large MNC's across the nation, the assignments of my friend depended a lot on his customers and their dates.  Inpsite of this, the willingness to spend the precious, valuable time with an ailing father leaving behind his own family in another state and completely supporting the parents truly touched me. I did manage to mumble to my freind that the parents are real lucky ones, even though I know they all are in immense pain right now.

The last two weeks has especially been bad for my freinds father with his abdominal cancer consuming him almost completely making him unable to eat or drink. Thats when my friend decided to spend time with them ( parents) who live here in Chennai.  Some of the details of the pain and grief the parents ar going through really brought tears to my eyes, but all I did was just listen.

Death seems so close and it looks like they are expecting this unwanted treachourous visitor anytime.. really anytime.  How does it feel for the person going through this?  Its truly difficult to comprehend the sombre period the family is passing through too.

Ostentiably the family, I am sure is going through terrible trauma with the father down with this terminal illness and all odds heavily stacked against his survival.  My mind was going out to my friends mother, who must be bearing the brunt of it all.  I had this sinking feeling that I am unable to support my friend in any way other than just listen.  Insignificant, I know

I wanted to say a hundred things to console my friend, but I guess all that was needed was some ardent prayers and all I did was listen with moist eyes.

May God bless my friend for being such a wonderful soul, and I am begging God to give this family strength to go through this testing time.

and I will be around to listen. and to pray.  for my friend and the family.

A friend sent this to me in response to a prayer request and found it quite meaningful  "Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death"

P.S: anyone reading this post, I request a silent prayer for my friends family and especially the father for a easy passover to our Lord's abode.

P.S added on 27th of March :  My friends father passed away this morning.  Thank you for all your prayers.  Eternal peace grant unto him O Lord, may his soul Rest In Peace.

Sometimes it lasts in love, Sometimes it hurts instead !!!

A lovely song by Adele...  I should thank mother of two blogger, author and a lot more rolled into one  Preety Shenoy, I heard this song through her tumblr post.

My First Meme... Yaa...aay

I stumbled upon a blog by name Sunday Stealing  through Preeti's blog  Justamotheroftwo and I thought to myself what the heck.. I have never tried a meme and why not this one.. and here i go with my answers... Its actually a three part Meme, of which I am doing only this part hence the numbers start from 51 instead of 1.

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

I do earnestly make an effort to fogive and forget. it is quite difficult and takes a long time for me to forgive those who have done me wrong

52) What is your astrological sign?

I am the Twin, multi personality Gemini, with an impulse towards change and versatality

53) Do you save money for anything? What?

Yes, I do. for a lot of stuff.  One important saving is for an Europe trip - to go through all those spots mentioned in the book "Da Vinci Code" - I am a great fan of Da Vinci Code and Dan Brown and Europe has always been a fascination

54) What's the last thing you purchased?

Gifts for my husband on his birthday and a cake for him.

55) Have you ever had a relationship that you realized was lust not love?

not really - I always had the awareness that basis of most relationships were lust and so I kept myself kind of closed for all kinds of relationships.  The flip side was I never gave myself an opportunity to find love atleast before marriage :-(

56) In a relationship?

Progressive...

57) How many relationships have you had?

am a very uninteresitng person that way - remember I told you, I kind of kept myself blocked?  but I guess there was one..  :-)

58) What do you want to tell us about your day?

Today being a saturday, I decided to relax, so no hard work lots of browsing and leisure activity.  I am planning to read - complete my book on Dynamic relationships by Jacqueiline and Cheri B Tores

59) Where were you yesterday?

At office, doing a lot of work.

60) Is there anything interesting within 10 feet of you?

A bean bag that is quite inviting expsecially on a day when I have decided to relax - lots of tissues ( if you can call that interesting ( I have a bad cold), my mobile and a chess board ( made of glass) and my Laptop that am working on.

61) Are you wearing socks right now?

The heat at Chennai is close to 40 degree celsius already.. Imagine wearing a socks now..  I am must be insane to do that.

62) What's your favorite animal?

A Dog of course.  I dont own a dog now.. but my childhood memories are filled with dogs as our good freinds and companions.  Julie ( an Alsation) and Rocky (a cross between a lab and a bull dog) are my favourite Pets.

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Love, care and add some senti stuff and there you go

64) Where is your best friend?

Right in  my heart.  One is in Singapore and one here in my city.  Fortunately, I cannot choose between the two...

65) How did you end your last relationship end?

I wouldnt call that a relationship - actually a friendship.  I told that person I am not intersted to continue the friendship in a very matter of fact manner.

66) What is your heritage?

The values passed on to me by my parents and my People. 

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Fast asleep and a peaceful one at that.  Last night just before sleeping we were talking about singing during family prayers.  Infact my son just remarked yesterday to me on a very serious note - " I wonder how Jesus listens to your singing..  one day hes going to walk out of our house"  Joe and I laughed about this joke and I told Joe, when I sing in a church or during a family prayer, I dont really care who is around me it is only between me and my LORD. My mom-in-law who is a great classical singer, who can sing pretty well inpite of breathing issues, sings with us and never has laughed or commented at my singing. In fact, I feel a little concious to sing with her.  Joe, a good soul that he is, asked me to sing the song that we sang today and he taught me the nuances of the song ( he knows classical music too) and we sang the song a couple of times together, Joe correcting some notes that I wasnt singing well and I slipped into a blissfull sleep!!!

you can listen to the song here Paavanathmave

68) What's new?

My job is new and am thoroughly enjoying it. We have moved into a new rented house and my life has a whole new perspective. My work place is so close to my house, travel to work place is so much lesser and life looks so different and postive

69) What is the key to seduction?

Eyes and Lips.  An intimate look and smile can do a neat job.

70) What was the weirdest thing that happened to you this week??

My freind called to update me  about his dad who is in his death bed - I knew there is a lot he didnt tell me, but still whatever he told me freaked me out instantly.  Could not focus on whatever I was doing for the next 10 - 15 mins.  I said a divine mercy prayer right there.

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

I am so tempted to put on an halo and say I would save the dog.  Honestly, while I love dogs, I might not go down a canal, wet myself and save a dog.  I might call for help and get someone to pull the dog out and I guess having never been late to work till date, I can explain that to my boss.

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) Yes, of course, I will tell everyone.  I will make an earnest attempt to meet all my freinds and relatives who I have been longing to meet. 

b) I will make that Europe trip  going around every part of Europe with reckless abandon, I would want to come back to India to die though

c) a wee bit I guess.. no.. wait..  I will be afraid.... a lot.. I have been afraid of death  always... :-(

73) You can only have one of these things: trust or love.

Love - I truly beleive it is Love that makes the world go around.  Love any day.

74) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

a lot of them actually .. what comes to my mind is my historic favorite Everything I do by Bryan Adams.  Part of my youth and some good times in college.

75) Who has your cell phone number (other than family)?

a whole lot of people.. mostly freinds and relatives. and some business contacts.  I also get random calls from a lot of these call centres for all kinds of reasons.. I would be better off without them..

WOW...  thanks to Sunday Stealer and Preety I am done with my first MEME...  pat pat pat.. thats a Pat on my back!!!

Another Birthday Together

Your birthday marks another year together;
Such happy times, I couldn’t ask for more,
Spending precious minutes, hours and days
With you, my love, whom I cherish and adore.
We’ve shared so much, we two, in love and friendship;
Each year our bond just seems to grow and grow.
I always want to be right next to you;
To be with you means more than you can know.
You’re always there for me with a loving smile;
I’m never happier than when I know you’re near.
I thought my love for you could not grow stronger;
And yet I love you even more this year.
                                                     By Karl and Joanna Fuchs 

Today is J's birthday and this poem is dedicated to him. 

 

 

Flashback

Let me start with this – I have joined a new work place and it suits me fine, I like what I do and have time for my family. My work place is closer home and life has a completely new perspective.

The empty land next plot to my current office building is full of grass, plants some trees and creepers, uneven, unruly and showed signs of neglect and was pure wild growth. Some patch in the middle was cleared and the software engineers, from our office played cricket there every Friday evening. And when they did, the ball went into thick marshes when an technically able software engineer but sports challenged batsman hit the ball and everyone went searching for it. Most of the days there are cabs that come to my office that are parked there under the shade of a random tree. Its a L shaped plot and cordoned by a wall. In the middle of all this there is well, a large one, like the common wells that would be seen in villages.

The west face of our building faces this empty ground and since this is coloured glass and has the exit staircase that can be used by those who do not wish to take the lift. Since I take the stairs most of the time, I get an unobstructed view of this piece of land. Today as I went up for chai, I was thinking about how this entire area might have been agricultural land once upon a time and how this part would have been green and would have provided livelihood to many. The adjacent plot to this ground ( third plot in the row) has a huge unoccupied 10 storey building, the ground floor of which has some 9 audis, all White, parked, there. I also wonder why there are so many Audis parked there. There are many mysteries in life, I take this as yet another one.

Atleast for the last 40 days, whenever I watched this empty ground, I wondered how rich the owner might be and if I would ever own a plot this size and scope. Funny.. this morning however, I noticed a JCB levelling this empty ground. Both when I went for morning tea and lunch the giant JCB was slowly and steadily clearing the wild grass and was levelling the ground. Very evenly in giant circles and the lines it left behind was as if a giant ran his fingers through the soil there. I was so attracted to it, i spent a solid 2 - 3 minutes watching the careful, planned maneuvers of the IFE ( Industrial and Farm equipment). I guessed it might be levelled for some kind of a tournament the IT companies organise for their employees.

Only when I walked out today the smell hit me. Soil, the wetness below and the grass together brought out a smell that instantly took me back to my childhood. Memories of "Mangu", my maternal grand mothers’ house in Potta, memories of my grand parents all came together in a flash. Scents have this ability to draw back long lost memories, hidden under layers and layers of time..... My grand father and "Mangu" are no more. My grand mom does not live there any more and the house around 100 years old stands tall waiting to deteriorate. Anytime.

While we ( My siblings and me) were young, we went to kerala during summer holidays the complete two months was spent there in the love, care and embrace of our grand parents. And we were loved by our other relatives as well. Today I see that as a great gift my parents gave me during my childhood. Had an opportunity to mingle with my cousins, my uncles and aunts though we were far away in chennai. While we visited other relatives we had short stays in their houses, majority of the stay was at Potta which is my maternal grand parents place.

We had simple pleasures and past time while we spent our time at Potta. Playing with our cousins all kinds of traditional games, playing on the swing, going fishing in the canal and pond, going to our fields, helping with the gathering and plucking of mangoes, coconuts, eating and relishing all those lovely homegrown stuff at home. all kinds of Mangoes - we had atleast 4- 5 varieties of them, Jackfruit ( again around 3 varieties), Chamba (love apples) , Mulberries, Ambazhanga, Pera (Guava), Njaval ( the dark purple coloured Jamuns ), luvikka, cashew fruit and the nut, plantains ( multiple varieties), mulberries and whole lot of gooseberries ( again atleast 3 types of them).

I still remember the excitement of seeing a Bambloose naranga.. a huge really huge sweet lime variety. and whenever we could we were treated to tender coconuts - the ones from a special variety called "gowli thengu" which had orangish nuts. Other than the homegrown fruits, nuts and berries, our grandmother used to make such wonderful snacks for us to eat like Plantain chips, Tapioca chips, Achappam, Kuzhalappam, Chakka ada, Oulose podi, Unda, Kuzhiappam, Vatteppam, Kinnathappam and Kuzhalappam. These are stuff we used to eat other than our delicious breakfast, lunch and Dinner and as you can see, our primary past time then, however was giving as much work to our digestive system. And at that age, I guess only that mattered and so we filled our stomachs as much as we could.

One more important task we used to take upon ourselves was feeding Mangu. Mangu was my grandfathers buffalo specifically brought up so that we would have milk at home, during summer vacation when all kids land up. We had yet another favorite past time ( under the guidance of our grandfather, of course) - Mangu loves eating grass and it has to be pulled out from our " Parambu" and the best part is washing the grass in our Pond ( which strictly is done by our Appapan – that’s how we called our grand father). We loved it so much that as long as we were there, Mangu never gets to eat hay, we keep piling her food channel in the cowshed ("Thozhuthu") with green fresh grass. Ahhh that smell - when you pull fresh bright green grass from wet soil, the fragrance of rich brown earth mixed with the lovely smell of grass is unbelievably soothing and personally it takes me back some decades to the comfort of my maternal home where we had a safe, carefree loving life. And today those lovely days came to my mind for a flash and left me with a longing smile...

P.S:

Mangu’s Thozhuthu is as old as the house.
I am amazed what the internet can do for you. all the above pictures look similar to the images that I had in my memories.

17 years and counting !!!

“Sixteen going on Seventeen“ – the song from Sound of Music comes to my mind, the moment I see the number 17. The lyrics of the song state that Liesl is a young girl at the beginning of her womanhood, and that she can depend on Rolf for guidance, because he is a good year older. This blogpost is not about my age, or about womanhood but about the number of years Joe and I have travelled together and in that sense the lyrics make sense to both of us. 30th January is our 17th Wedding Anniversary.

From the day ( just before our marriage, after our engagement ) I asked him, ‘Do you Smoke?’ and he looked right into my eyes and said ‘I don’t, but if you want me to, I can start right away’ we both have come a long way. I don’t ask such foolish questions and he wouldn’t oblige me either !!!

While “happily married” and “wedded bliss” are all great exmaples of oxymorons, no one around us would consider our marriage anything less than those described by these words. Any sane human being reading this will also agree that there is no perfect marriage in this world. It hasn’t always been hunky-dory for us, we have had a fair share of our fights, difficulties and misunderstandings, but as you see, Love has always triumphed. Probably only Joe and I would know the efforts and the years that we have put together in making our marriage work. The best part is it has worked ( so far!!) and heart of hearts I know, it will continue. Please God Let it work.. pls..

For those who know only one of us, or the both us, or none of us, we are as different as Chalk and Cheese. Atleast Chalk and Cheese almost have the same colour, I would say we are like day and night. Different cultures though we are from the same community, different upbringing, different outlook to life and I still wonder how we both got together in the first place. While I can talk to even strangers at the speed of light, Joe would hesitate to take the first step to initiate a conversation even with someone known to him.  I love reading romantic fiction and he would prefer management books or worse still user manuals. If I like senti stuff in movies Joe is all for action.  ( just a few differences) That’s life and that’s what arranged marriages can do  to you occasionally. The point is we have survived it and with Gods grace look forward to so much more. ( ahem!!)

This Anniversary being our 17th one, I thought of listing down 17 stuff that I really admire about Joe.

1. HARDWORKING I wrote that purposely in Caps. If I have seen anyone in my life who does not shun work and works so hard, its him. I wouldn’t have to worry about my tomorrow as long he is fit. Infact, the moment he is free, he becomes restless and I keep telling him that he is mentally wired to be busy all the time.

2. From the initial days of my marriage to now, he has grown to become a very caring husband and I know I come first in his life.

3. He is an excellent driver – who can maneuver the car so well, drive it swift & fast and it is a pleasure to go on a drive with him. I still remember how he would make me sit pillion on his bike and does a 60 degree jump with his old TVS Suzuki before we go anywhere. I miss that now. He is a great bike rider too.

4. Speed and his pace is so fast that I literally am running most of the time to catch up with his pace. Be it simple walking or reading or talking or even cutting vegetables, he is pretty quick. At everything!!

5. Never ( never ever) complains about the food that is put on the table. Which is I think a great boon for someone like me who never knew the basics of cooking, when I got married. I owe him a lot for putting up with all those inedible stuff I used to make then. ( a note here though. I am a fairly good cook now)

6. He is fiercely independent, to an extent it sometimes gives me the creeps. I think to myself that this guy will live happily even without me. I have rarely seen him depend on others for anything.

7. Mostly a self made man, he is someone who can think on his feet, has a uncluttered, clear mind and can make fairly good decisions on his own.

8. Inspite of his decision making ability and his independence, he takes my inputs and I know he values it a lot.

9. In a world full of men who think getting into the kitchen is below their dignity (atleast amongst my family and clan), he is one who can put on the chef’s hat and do cooking and fine cooking at it. His team won the cookery show award when they did a competition at the place he works. What more can a woman ask for? And let me tell you a little secret – he taught me cooking in my initial days of marriage and he makes the softest chapattis in the world with absolutely no oil.

10. He has a cool head over his shoulders and does not let anything get to his head. He has no airs about himself, down to earth and is a man of few words.

11. A great role model and a good father for Dennu. I wish Dennu would grow up to be like him.

12. Very confident about himself and his abilities. I know as long as he is around I have great support system in him. I can live a carefree life.

13. Did I say he is a smart energetic fellow? I love the way he looks and I love the past face of his walk. Ah, I should tell this about him – I just love the hair he has on his hands.  Am I totally in love with him? You bet!

14. Very practical in his approach to life ( unlike me, I can day dream all through my life)

15. He accepts my family as his own and does not differentiate it for me or for them. Makes my life much easier when interacting with either side of the family.

16. The respect his siblings have for him – all his older siblings and his younger brother have a lot of respect for him.

17. His ability to fix anything and everything around the house. I keep telling him jokingly that when I married him, I married a plumber, carpenter, engineer, driver, mechanic and a husband. He is so good at these, for the last anniversary I gifted him a Bosch Power Tool kit and he absolutely loved it. The guys in the retail shop where I picked up this stuff wondered what my husband’s job was. I had to tell them he works in a decent organization and loves to do these stuff around home. And they told me that in all their years of running that place they have never seen a woman gift a Bosch tool kit to her husband. I got a Rs. 500 concession :-)

I actually realized I have a lot more good things to say about him, but let me stop here, lest my man may grow a halo around his head !!

And now to those who think what an angel this one is ( me, me ..) to list out so many good things about her husband, just give me a moment.

I just swapped my accessories – right now I have a couple of horns, a little black & red tail and a pitchfork. You know what, I can list atleast a hundred things that I hate about him and it wont need as much thinking as it needed for the above 17 entries. He he he

So, finally I am dedicating this blogpost to 17 years of togetherness and more to come... and closing with a picture of ours taken today.

Christmas Season... a few notes and snapshots

Mood is upbeat, life looks promising and am all set for a week long vacation with J's family.  Looking forward to the long road trip thorugh Mysore coorg and the forests of veerarajapet and Sulthan Batheri. 

At home, the christmas tree is up, my handmade christmas wreath  has a prime place and the jingle bells adorn the door.  For the first time, we are travelling on Christmas day to be with family atleast in the evening and we do not know where we will attend the christmas mass.  adventurous - hope it all ends well.  Will miss dressing up in finery for christmas ( wiping of the imaginery tears...) am planning to make it up during the engagement in Kerala. ( Joe's sister's daughter is getting engaged end of this month)

so here are some xmas snapshots around our home this christmas season.

Chrstimas Tree

A christmas gift from a friend, which comes out
 every xmas season along with other decorations

the tree top

Lovely !!!  ( self praise)



hand made christmas wreath - almost 8 years old.
 I keep the base intact and keep changing decorations.

And you know what? I tried my hand at baking this time..made a choclate cake (self taguht through the net)and surprisingly it came out well. this is just a trailer am planning to do more in 2012. wish me luck.. wont you? and all of you out there, greetings of the season and may you be blessed with Joy and peace this Christmas !!

 

Winding up with a picture of my first cake! 

Confession on a monday morning

This blog might be the result of lack of monday mornning blues, could also be a result of a completely vagabond  soul, the resultant eccentrcity of a liberated mind from the clutches of predictability. A confession seemed inevitable in blogosphere.

Did I lose a part of myself when I dumped those back packing dreams?
Sinfully lovely thoughts of huddling up in those motels on hard beds travelling to see the world in a different light?
Life ahead looked grey and blank when those bridges of the mind were withdrawn - even if it were my choice
I had to crush you my soulmate - you have to let go of something that you love the most, when you know that is the best.  It hurt me, did it hurt you?
Lui Waldroff faded back into oblivion along with the geared bicycle
Can someone cheat themselves?
Am I missing the joy of peeping into your thoughts, a space that we shared?
There are a lot more that i have let go than anyone could imagine - will the ignominy of it all haunt me for the rest of my life?
Moments pass by, years roll on and I would be a far away memory for myself

After a week of rain, darkclouds and swampiness, the sun came out bright and hot today
Is it a new beginning?

May be.

Random shots around our apartment

Been a long time since I blogged.  dont ask me reasons.  Just proving that I am regularly irregular at multiple stuff in life.

This is a Plog - a picture  blog that shows glimpses around the new place we moved into - beginning to like this place, and definitely not as much as our own house that we moved out of, a couple of months back:-( 



 View from our balcony adjoining the dining space



The "Poonkurishu" ( flowery cross of st.thomas) on our Nilavilakku ( traditional lamp) of Syro Malabar christians

Chest of draws

one of our first set of pictures taken a couple of days after our marriage, at Kerala, now in a cosy corner at the Kitchen



fridge decoration - Courtesy our son



A Kimono clad Momo ( Japanese Girl) part of my collection



Miniature oil lamp ( still in working condition) from Pune



Source of light - chandelier



The traditional corner - a bell metal nilavilakku (Nilam in the Malayalam language means ground and Vilakku means lamp ), a flower vase and an ancesteral Kindi ( a traditional keralite water dispenser for holy rituals)

Did you like these shots? If you do, please write your comments and I will add more.. thats a promise.

Are we better people because of our friends?

From the last time I blogged to now, life has kind of altered completely for me. While I plan a separate blog post on changes that I am going through in life,, let me focus on Freindships this post this being the friendship month and August 6th being the friendship day.

Life has become quite hectic these days and am struggling to hit the work life balance. I have no time for myself and for my friends. I realized later that I did not call a single soul to wish Friendship day.

6th of August, though it was a Saturday, was a working day for me as I was hosting a conference that was going on at an organizational level at the place I work. Technology was utilized to the max with 10 locations in India and abroad connected via Video conference and I was the SPOC ( single point of contact) from chennai. The day was filled with frantic calls to Hyd, which is the base location hosting the show, whenever technology fails, which was pretty often.

While I remembered it was friendship day and I wanted to call a lot of my close friends, I could not and managed to send a nice message to all my women friends – If there are any of my men friends reading this, which is quite unlikely, my apologies to you. The one that I sent to my women friends was a very touchy forwarded message and I chose a select few friends from my address book. I had a broad smile on my face as most of the lovely ladies either messaged back or called me to say they love me too. They toasted for the friendship that I shared with them and they with me and it was quite emotional.

I remember writing about my best friend Pets earlier in a blog post and her birthday falls on august 6th. Pets has recently relocated to Chennai from Dubai for a short time ( 2 years) and is shuttling between Dubai and Chennai. Its unbelievable that I haven’t found the time to meet her in 4 months and sometimes I don’t even have the time to call her. She complains to me about it, and recently when she moved into her own place close to her parents place, I was one of the invitees for the house warming, and I could not make it for various reasons. I know with Pets I can explain and she would understand and I also know even without an explanation she would understand.

I so very much wanted to pick up a gift for her and meet her on her birthday, but the conference didn’t give me much scope for all that. I thought of her and called her more than a couple of times, her phone was either not reachable or she didn’t lift the handset. She must have been in the church when I called – at those times when she did not take my call.

To cut the long story short, I could not reach her the whole day except for the message that I sent for which there was an immediate response. And I also messaged her saying I am in a conference the whole day.

That night when I dozed off to sleep, Pets face was the last one I remembered..

My busy schedules are continuing both at work and at home and have no time for social networking sites etc., and this is what I found when I went to my facebook account last night, much after the friendship day and her birthday.  I did speak to Pets the next day though..

• PP posted toVincy Joseph

Happy friendship day to my best friend who is always busy but I know she thinks of me too............

I am amazed and touched by her confidence in me and my friendship and there is something else that touched me even more. She wore a salwar suit that I had picked up for her a couple of years back, for her cake cutting with her family and had posted those pictures on FB.

And later we had conversations and she said everyone asked me about the suit and I said this is Vincy’s gift.

I am so humbled by her love and friendship and am sure most of us have friends who make us better people just because of their friendships.

Do you have similar stories of unconditional love and friendship?

When you win some, you lose some

Yaaayyy… There is a wedding round the corner, on Saturday, 16th July 2011. Joe’s niece is getting married. Actually this family is so close to us, I seldom remember they are my in-laws. I guess it is a wonderful thing that you get accepted into an in-laws place as one in the family ( you also end up getting brickbats just as much as a family member would, which is a flip side, but considering the love that’s coming my way, its fine) and you feel the in-laws are your own people. I must be really lucky !!!

Last couple of months have been running and rerunning verbal lists and what-to-do’s for the wedding, meeting up at odd hours and finalizing, whitewashing their house ( ofcourse professionals were employed to do this job) and rechecking with each other on the status. With just a couple of days for the wedding and a large entourage of guests coming in from kerala on friday, the activities are going on in great rigor.

Last Sunday J and I came up with multiple lists and both families sat down for discussions at around 11.00 pm. We finalized the lists and came up with a firmed up plan ( finally after several rounds of discussions and confusions) from an earlier jelly like wobbling plan at 2.30 am. We really burnt the midnight oil and of course the AC.

So I finally put all my organizing skills together and came up with a date wise plan for the wedding, in an excel sheet titled Wedding planner with activities and responsibilities assigned to various members in family, date wise and also mentioned the time by which each activity has to be completed. So there are worksheets titled pre 15th, 15th July and 16th July with activities sequenced in time for every day.

After I sent out the mail to the family members on Monday, J sent a mail back saying “great work” –which is equivalent to the Bharat Ratna received from the President in my case. J seldom would appreciate the work that I do and hence any small adulation coming from him is of immense value to me. The bride’s brother wrote back saying Aunty.. Sammadichu.. ( which translates into Aunty I agree you are a genius ha ha ha)

So the lists are done and we are into the final leg of the wedding plans. I am so excited and I am looking forward to this wedding and am hoping that all the events as part of the wedding would go as planned.There is a whole flip side to the wedding – especially when you are on the bride’s side. You have to let go of the bride and bridegroom walks away with his prized possession. When you win some, you lose some. We win a groom and lose a bride.

I am dreading the moment the bride is going to walk out of the house, already. The count down started from last month infact. I am fervently hoping that I will hold on to my emotions. When I got married this child was in std VII, pretty, demure, soft spoken, well mannered, reserved and quiet but very studious and talented and I have seen her grow over a period of time into a fine young woman that she is today. We are pretty close to each other and feel comfortable in each other’s company and have spoken for hours together on multiple topics, especially after this wedding thing came about. I have had the unique liberty of questioning a lot of her decisions, giving my own perspectives on life and such things, supporting her wherever needed, probably giving my shoulder for her to cry and making sure she gets the right perspective on life. We have had some very intense conversations in the last two years and many of them ending in soaking up tissues with tears, justifying her decisions to me and using me as a sounding board for her thoughts.

She is an intelligent girl and I know her decisions would be right and she has the backing of her parents’ good deeds (they are such wonderful people – I probably need a separate blog post on this topic) and I am sure she will do well in life.

I keep telling her that her parents come first to me and only then she would, but I really doubt that statement myself.

But you know what, I am going to miss her like hell after she leaves. Will she ever know this?

Networking sites and their small mercies in life

While my head and heart are still reeling under the pain of a good friend’s father diagnosed with cancer, I seem to be unconsciously calling the Lord and saying little prayers for strength for their family members to go through these moments of despair. The surgery is tomorrow and whatever I do, this thought stays in the background. I am trying to get away from thoughts of complete helplessness and am hoping & sincerely praying everything goes on well tomorrow and beyond.

I had been postponing a call to a friend, its been quite hectic at work front, ( kind of lost and found – I lost contacts with this friend after school and found her through Facebook) and decided that I have to do it today and so I called her ( lets call her L) with a lot of excitement. I am speaking to her after around 23 years and it was amazing how we could connect instantly with each other after sooooo long. I met L when I moved from a CBSE school near my house to a school in the city in std VI and we studied together till std XII and we remained good friends during that period. While I had other friends L was someone I stuck onto for most of the time.

I remember after finishing school, the last time we met was when we came to take our marksheets and I was surprised to hear that L was going to work and do her graduation through correspondence course.  I had enrolled into SMC for my graduation and later was invited by my school to receive the awards for getting first mark in Language and English in the board examinations for plus two.  I think it was because of my semester exam at college or so, I didnt go to school for receiving that award.  and I also knew that none of my friends would have been there.  Whatever, I didnt make it that day for the awards.  I continued writing to her, but by the time I was into the second year or so I lost contacts with her and I was also enjoying college life, I had so many friends, and some of my cousins ( from our place in Ennore)  were in the same college and we were freaking out and we did have a terrific time together at college.

Coming to think of it, I realized today that she was someone who accepted me without any inhibitions, for what I am because I remember  back then, I was, so naïve, so very bare and had no pretensions about what and who I was. Completely in a new environment at school, I remember she gave the solace of a very good friend. We went to each others houses, though our homes were far, our parents knew each other and we got to know each other’s families.

While we were talking over phone we recollected incidents of school days and how we enjoyed ourselves at school, discussed teachers, other friends, the scoldings that we got from teachers, punishments, assignments at school and what not.. I was telling her, even recently I was narrating an incident about how L’s brother was in Ohio and sent a Christmas card from Ohio and that was the first time I heard this name and I pronounced it so funnily and L corrected me and taught me how to pronounce it the right way. I am glad I have not forgotten that.

And L recollected how good my handwriting always was, when I mentioned about a common friend’s good handwriting at school and she also remembered how I used to leave handmade Birthday greetings in her bag as a surprise and she used to wait to come to school the next day to thank me for it. Honestly, I had forgotten that – she said I used to do it from std VIII and also said I used to be good in drawing and painting. How true. Am I not continuing that legacy through glass painting now?

We laughed about the style of Sr.Concordia and how I used to get scolded by Ms.Pearly, the terror at school ( she was our english teacher in plus one and two & she just hated me for whatever reasons and never gave me the first mark in the class tests and I feel good that I got the first mark in the board exams), my craze for plants and about lots of our friends. Sadly both of us are not in touch with any of our other friends – we spoke about our families, our jobs, our routines. It was so nice to recollect those days of innocence, love and camaraderie.

We spoke for quite some time and even after I disconnected a whole lot of memories of those days came flooding to my mind like the time we both bought same type of dresses and came to school on those rare occasions when " colour dress " was allowed in those similar clothes, how we both continued to sob and cry, much after the movie “ Passion of Christ “ was screened during the retreat at school and my feeling of complete safety and trust with this girl.

I remembered her second sister pretty well, she was an aspiring actress, extremely stylish for those days with fringes adorning her forehead and I remember she wore stilettos and I used to look at her with a lot of awe for her style and persona. Infact everytime I wear a stiletto myself these days I used to remember her – sadly both sisters of L had passed away in the last one and half years and L was telling me that her second sister used to like me a lot. The liking was mutual and she had just passed away a month back. :-(

I also remembered she was the one to whom I confided ( the only one those days - I was so scared to tell even my parents) about the guy who was following me in Std IX, who we used refer as "blackie". Blackie followed me from Std IX to Std XII and he very stupidly (?) never attempted to speak to me or ask my name or even smile at me.  This guy just used to gape at me and kept following me from my bus stop to my house ( Phew !!! thats quite a distance)  in the evenings every single day ( sometimes in the same bus that I was travelling and when I started travelling in a ladies special, he followed my bus in a scooter) and in the mornings he will stand in the balcony of his house while I pass his house from bus stand to my school.   I used to so scared of this guy there were many days I got down in the earlier bus stop and walked 15 minutes to reach the school just to avoid being spotted by this guy and he cracked my secret in a couple of weeks.

What a waste of time, energy and resources!! I still wonder what was the reason behind this kind of behaviour. Blackie's sister studied in my school in a different section and i dont remember her name, I remember they were muslims.  L used to make fun of me calling her my sis-in-law and I used to get so irritated with her about that.  And L also gets so excited when blackie misses to see me pass his house ( which was quite rare)  and will be waiting in the balcony much after I reach school.  Infact, the initial years 9th and 10th I used to be so petrified about this guy following me, that I used to cry when i was alone and then by 11th and 12th I sort of got used to this routine.  In fact, I think many people got to know about this guy in my bus ( ladies special) because this guy will follow the bus in a scooter on the side I am sitting and will keep turning around half the time to look at me.  ha ha ha ..  I sometimes have wondered how in the world he drove with head turned sideways.  Surprisingly I had no soft corner for this chap .. all i had was contempt because he was coming behind a girl like an idiot ( imagine the kind of carbon foot print he must have had then..) and I guess I was tough nut too... Ahhh.. those days...

L and I have planned to meet up some time (after a couple of weeks) my weekends are completely engaged for the next three weeks and yes, I look forward to meeting L after 23 years.

Birthday blah blah

I know I am growing old, because more than the friends and family’s wishes I had sms’s from Banks, insurance companies, shopping malls, mutual funds wishing me on my birthday – Luckily these wishes did not outnumber my family and friends circle. Small mercies in life.

I woke up this morning from a pleasant dream and lots of hugs from J and D, < Have I mentioned this before, I am sucker for hugs – People around me get tired of my requests for hugs and today, mind you only today, they were quite generous with it) and I had a smile playing on my face the entire day.

I am reminded of a quote “growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional”! And I guess this holds true for me in particular. :-) :-) Am I saying this with pride? May be.. I am 41 today ( OMG !!!), but I am not letting that come in the way of my attitude or in the way I lead my life and I have no qualms of accepting my age in any forum, not just in the blogosphere.

So here I am still feeling the need to wear new clothes ( I still get excited about new clothes – proof no one for not growing up !!) on my birthday and made sure I had plenty of them this time. I remember a couple of times, when I didn’t wear new clothes for my birthday in the past ( after marriage) I was overcome by enormous self pity later, and blew up exorbitant amount of money in gifts for myself. I am not taking a chance this time, am I?

J and D were so nice to me – anything was okay today and I did take a wee bit ( honestly, a wee bit) advantage of the fact that it was my birthday. J surprised me earlier this week with a lovely gift of a Kanchipuram saree ( which I would precisely wear once or twice). Infact, I had stopped picking up sarees for myself as I thought it is a lot of waste of money - 1. They are so difficult to wear and maintain 2. Once you wear a saree for an occasion you cannot wear it again ( a logic that J is never able to fathom, but I am sure many women would instinctively understand where I come from). J Keeps telling me that it is a criminal waste of money to buy sarees and just wear them only once.

Anyway I was surprised that J came up with this idea and I am still getting over the guilty pangs of picking up a saree which is the most expensive one in my wardrobe right now, and you know from the corner of my little heart, there were thoughts about killing so many silk worms, that I trying not to focus on…But I think I liked it. And J mentioned that he is so impressed with all the efforts had put in getting my little one prepare for his board exams. ( Pat on the back, moist eyes and play a melody in the background )

I had to go to office today as there was relaunch of an initiative from the unit that I work with and so I was at office in the city and spent my morning with a lot of kids and families of our organization. The little ones ( especially the girls and especially one little fellow) kept all of us on toes and made sure the morning was a pleasant and enjoyable one.

We had lunch together, J made sure he took a break from work during lunch time. I should have started my day with a mass, but it had to wait till evening. A cake cutting after church ( cake selected, ordered and brought home by D) completed my birthday. This is the first time, I had so many wishes on Facebook and I thanked each and every one.

All through the day, calls from loved ones kept me busy and everytime there was a call, I was ever so grateful. Rosanna played a song over phone on her Piano and really made me feel special, couple of other calls from onsite ( hey stop, onsite ??? or is it freinds abroad - occupationational hazards on being in IT) and some really close friends' calls made me feel so happy. 

And there was something else that made me really feel happy. A couple of days ago, I guess it was on Monday, I lost a gold pendant at home. Actually the hook of my chain had come off, and this pendant must have slipped out. It was a nice heart and was gift from a couple of my close friends for a birthday two years ago. When I opened the door for my cook in the morning, I felt something slip in my neck and realized it was the chain and by then, the pendant was not there. I really felt bad about losing the pendant one because it was a gift from some close friends and two because I making losing gold a habit offlate. Though I was pretty sure about losing the pendant at home and finding it someday, this was on my thoughts constantly.

J has given up on me and after checking a couple of times stopped asking about it. I had told my maid about this and she did a clean sweep with no pendant in all the dust. Today D was in a hurry dressing up, as he was coming with me to my office and he called out saying Mamma, I got your pendant. It was in his shoes. I was so happy that I got it back and made a mental note to be careful with my belongings in the future.

Isnt that lovely, that I had to get this back on my birthday ? I feel a strong presence of my Lord in my life and feel when I pray he truly listens !!!!

Enigma

It is difficult to believe
You are so much part of my thoughts

It is difficult to believe
The Joy you bring to my being

It is difficult to believe the
Wonder of your love

It is difficult to believe that you
appeared from nowhere Serendipitously

It is difficult to believe the
Innocuous smiles that you bring to my face

It is difficult to believe that
You made me love myself

It is difficult to believe the ubiquitousness
Of you inspite of absence

It is difficult to believe that
I’ve met none as enchanting as you

It is difficult to believe you always
come up with tricks & trivia that never fail to surprise me

It is difficult to believe I still am in
complete awe of what you are

Its difficult to believe I treasure every single memory
That defies all these disbeliefs

How can you not forgive?

( If a post script is written even before completion of main content, can we call it pre script?  If yes, here is a prescript - This post was written a couple of days back and I hadnt published it.)

I tried changing views of a person, a very close family member about his views on another family member. My intention was not to fight, but it turned out to be just that. All I wanted was harmony around and ensure everyone was happy in the family. Not only did this person misunderstand me completely, it so happened that we did disagree on some things.

And the constant pain of the conversation kept nagging me all through the day, inspite of my intense work schedule. It is just not going away from my mind. I am saddened that I had to disagree, in an attempt to bring joy in the family, I have done just the opposite and I love everyone that I don’t want to win some and lose the others.

What I just cannot comprehend or fathom is the fact that how anyone harbor anger for years together ? How can you move on in life with resentment about an incident or a person? Why cant you simply forgive and forget? Is it Ego? Is it your cultural upbringing ? Is it the religion, values or society? Any of these or all of these put together cannot and should not compete with Love. And if Love was present all these should just obscure into oblivion. Shouldn’t it?

Life is short, so small compared to the huge expanse of the milkyway and our lives in this universe is just a miniscule of a moment – generations come and go and people get angry over some insignificant stuff in life.

Forgiving someone is easily said than done. I know it. I have gone through the terrible grind of this – I almost have become insane doing it. But let me tell you its worth it. Worth every bit of it.

If not for others, for your own self, forgiving and moving on is worth its salt.

Smiles worth more than a million dollars

I still remember my first flight.  I didnt sleep well that entire night out of sheer excitement - the flight was an early morning one and I was probably the first one to be ready.  I remember sitting in the window seat and feeling the exhilaration of the aircraft being lifted into the air.  The feeling of transcending into space, literally, a sweet dizziness and seeing the earth move away from you putting you into a completely different orbit are unforgettable moments in life.

During the flight, there were so many thoughts, inbetween all those conversations we had, but the one I clearly remember is the thought about taking  my parents on a flight journey somewhere, someplace... and that was many many years ago..

I almost lost the chance when my sister was planning the same with my parents, and fortuntely ( how mean of me) that didnt happen and a couple of earlier occasions when i suggested this to my parents, they werent actually ready.  They both were trying to get over a bad phase in their lives, and I didnt want to force them, into anything they didnt want to do at that time.

Now they are much better and when Joel, my third generation cousin, invited us for his marriage, a couple of months back ( his wedding was on 22nd May and he was so thoughtful to invite us in March, the next day after finalising his wedding.) at Kerala, the idea was back again.  By now, I pretty well know how to deal with my parents, If I ask them, shall we go by flight, there would be other suggestions, so one day I called them and said, we will go for Joel's wedding by flight. complete silence on the other end of the telephone.  Appacha, I have blocked the tickets and in another 2 days time, tell me if the timings are convenient.  No defences, no opposition, no contradictions and dad mumbled let me discuss with Ammachi and call you back.  Thank God, I thought.

A couple of days later my dad confirmed the dates are fine and thus my parents first flight was finalised.  Infact, we were going for Joels wedding from multiple directions - My sis and family along with my son, Dennu, were coming from Bangalore.  Dennu is spending time with my sister as part of his 2nd lap of holiday tour. Joe had a official trip to Coimbatore coinciding with Joel's wedding, so he promised to reach Aripalam, ( my dad's place) by car. And i was flying down with my parents through Cochin.

I much later realised, actually during the wedding day, I did the wisest things in my life in taking my parents to Kerala in a flight for a relatives wedding, as almost all my typical Mallu relatives got to know about their flight journey and my parents were brimming with pride.

On the day of the journey, I went to pick up my parents from their place and I saw my parents all dressed and ready like little children, who are promised to be taken to a theme park, excitement written large and bold in their eyes.  Smiling and laughing we went to the airport on a saturday afternoon.  I remembered the days when I held their hands and was led to the known to the unknown in multiple environments during all those growing up Juvinelle years, when all I had was the faith and trust in them.  I knew if my dad was around I had nothing to fear.  I am truly biased that way about my dad.  Years later, today I saw the roles reversed, I saw their trust and pride in me.

All went well.  The normally bustling airport was a little more crowded, being a saturday and also partly because of all the renovation works going on in the Chennai airport. unlike a working day when the lounges are filled with Corporate honchos with emotion-less faces going around in a detached manner, this day had more of a family crowd and I guess that must have made my parents a little more comfortable.

My mom was a little worried about her first flight - she is slightly claustrophobic.  Even in a car, the first thing that she will ask is to put the shutters down for air to come in.  she feels suffocated in closed environments.  Infact, i was a little worried too about her. 

The baggage taken in I handed over the boarding passes and they were thrilled to see even the tickets.  Security check for my dad was interesting - he missed his silver rosary in his pockets and the machine beeped so he had to part with it for few minutes.  He checked with me if the baggage will arrive safely.  My mom wouldnt part with her handbag, as it had jewels that we had to wear for the wedding.  she quickly grabbed her bag after security check and waited for a few minutes in the lounge to see the entire set of Chennai Super Kings entourage coming into the lounge. 

finally we boarded the aircraft with the smiles of my parents broadening by the minute, so many people calling from Kerala to check if they have started, and my dad wanting to sit near the window.  This being a big aircraft we all could sit in the same row and my mom told my dad, again like a little child, after a little while I want to sit near the window.  My parents are such lovely couple, in sync with each other and they have the knack of managing each other.  I sometimes feel they balance each other so well that i have so much to learn from them. I heard my dad say, "anyway you would sleep in a little while, so it doesnt matter".  I made a mental note to check with the inflight executive about availability of an empty window seat.

The excitement on my dads face was quite evident and I saw him explaining a lot of things to mom and I had the opportunity to see the expression on the faces of my parents took off. They were joyous, smiling and so happy.  Excited is an understatement - My dad could see and identify some landmarks in Chennai and after a while was enjoying the beauty of clouds all around. The flight touched Trivandrum before it reached Cochin and I heard Dad say to his nephew while the flight landed in Trivandrum, one journey and we have two take-offs and two landings. 

Before the flight took off from Trivandrum, checked with the airhostess and organised a different window seat for dad so Mom could also sit near a window.  My dad thoroughly enjoyed the journey, mom too, but she started having ear pain after a little while, but she was fine.

 

I was revelling in their joy and happiness all through this journey - The smiles of my parents brought so much of satisfaction and I know I could never ever repay them even in part for all that they have done for me and the sacrifices they had to make, which made me what I am today. Atleast this, and I am so thankful for this opportunity.  And as a first born at home, I could do it before my brother or sister could do it for them.

I have just one regret though - I should have done this much much earlier. :-)