Friday, July 27, 2012

Time waits for no one - Never in a Gazillion years

“Time flies” is a well worn, beaten to death cliché until each one of us experience it ourselves one fine morning, and then the intensity of this expression hits us. :-) I look back now and realize that its one full year since we moved out of our home in Chennai into an apartment (in another part of Chennai) and made this our home.

In 2007, when we moved into our own independent house ( yeah we can call it that it has a compound wall, we can feel mother earth in tiny patches and there is a terrace that we can call ours – ignoring the fact that if I extend arms from my terrace I can touch my neighbors parapet and the coconut trees in my neighbors house actually look like our own, if these silly stuff are discounted, its still an independent house for definition sakes), at least I never dreamt that I would move out of that place for a long time to come.

When we changed Sonny’s school, that he hates right now, it was difficult for him to travel to his school which was at least 15 kms away and the metro rail that is coming up en route was not helping in any way to reduce the travelling time. My son was moving into class Eleven and there needs to be so much focus into studies, we decided to put him in the current school and anyways it was just for 2 years until he completes his class XII. So hubby and I decided to make his life simpler so that he gives undivided attention to his studies (we realized that it was already difficult with the grinding he was getting at school) and we confirmed the move. Sonny was the unhappiest and felt sad about leaving his room. He says he still misses his room. He loved his room for whatever reasons, many of which I do not endorse. His room was on the first floor so he got a lot of undisturbed time, with me feeling lazy to go up to check on him for one. And many other such stuff.

Once the move was decided, we just took a week’s time,( to the surprise of our entire family - read the parents and other relatives) to find a house, get movers and packers and actually move. With all the stuff that we had accumulated in a large house for over 4 years we realized the kind of junk we can stockpile in a house without actually being aware of it. And we told ourselves, the moment Sonny finishes school we are going to be back to our own place. For one, our own house was planned in detail and so much of effort has gone into it, and two we were all sentimentally attached to it.

Now Dennu, that’s how we call our Sonny boy normally, from the new apartment, can cycle to his school in less than 15 minutes and imagine he does not have to go through any main roads. The apartment is a very nice place, quite spacious lot of facilities that we do not have in our own place, like a Swimming pool, basket ball court, a gym, play area for children etc., Being an apartment the cleaning /dusting /wiping and arranging bit is much easier – let me tell you I am a compulsive maniac at it, but it still is not our “own” place. You get the feeling?

So I was calculating today and I realized in another 9 – 10 months we got to move back. I am looking forward to it and I probably would be the first woman on earth who loves to shift. And I already have prepared a list of 32 (yeah just 32 alterations which will make us a few lakhs poorer, but what the heck) that we need to do before we get back to our “own” place. I have been dropping hints, messages to hubby dear about the changes I have in mind, but haven’t yet shown the list to him. You see I am the organized kind so I have an excel sheet that has the changes, approx cost and the total cost. Need to prepare him adequately before actually showing him the list. He will realize yet again sadly, that lessons in prudence over indulgence has not had an effect on me, even after 17 and a half years of sermons at home.

So today I was wondering about how soon time flies and before we realize, a year flies by, with a whole lot of changes in our lives.

Just a doubt though at this point in time. Does time fly faster when you are older? Oh no I am not OLD as in old. :-() just generally checking!

Friday, July 20, 2012

A lazy saturday morning and a reason to be thrilled to bits

Today is one of those days that I wish were in plenty in a month.   After sending  Sonny to school, (he insisted on a lunch from his canteen probably fed up of my lunches, no he specifically said all his friends were planning to eat together at the canteen today,  with hubby dear away on a trip and will not return till this evening, read midnight,  the compulsive cleaning / dusting /vaccuming  of our home done last saturday, today looks like a dreamers paradise.

Havent been getting any ME time of late,  and I am determined to make the best of the day.  After a quick breakfast I sat down to give a hard look at my blog, added some gadgets, do you see the difference on my bliog? ( BTW, Vincy Who are you speaking to?  Still fantasising a reader base?  - just a little self-reprimand folks) and also blog waltzed into reflections.  I should say the blog is simply good and my kinda space.  Loved reading everything that i managed to read in a couple of hours.   Like I mentioned in the comment that I left her, truly felt like a kid in a candy store. :-) yep I left a comment for her following one of her tips in her blog post.

I  really didnt have a topic in mind when i started to blog today and I know some days the topic evolves and you stumble on stuff enexpectedly, like how met Diana online. :-)  I have to tell you something about my self, I have been dilly dallying about changing the look and feel of my hair  for the last 5 years.  yeah you saw it right it was last 5 years.  

I even tried temporary stratightening a couple of times to check how it actually looks and though I was convinced about the way my hair fell on my shoulders, I was wondering if i might lose more hair or if i will damage what i already have.  I should tell you this, I like my original texture of my hair and though it is not as thick as it used to be when i was younger, its still decent and I do end up getting some compliments for my hair.  Its just that the devil gets into your head sometimes and just plays some pranks and some of these thoughts never get away until you give in to the temptations.

I know I will not get any support from my hubby dear as he feels strongly against anything done to my hair - just that he stopped commenting on it these days as he knew I cannot be controlled on matters of mane.  :-) So finally I took that important decision just before my birthday that I am going in for an hair smoothening treatment and told myself that this one i am doing for myself, a gift to myself on my 42nd birhtday and nothing was going to stop me.  I also wanted to surpirse ( to be read as create displeasure) everyone at home and booked an appointment with my beautician. 

If you read my earlier post here, you would know my dad had a surgery on my birthday and my date with the beautician had to be cancelled.  With my dad going through a surgery i was in no mood to go in for a life defining decision for myself.  So it got put off to later and finally I got it done the beginning of this month and I should tell you I just love the feel of it.  It feels good, my hair does not feel messy these days, not many bad hair days and the best part is even in the dust and grime of Chennai where i live, I manage to leave my hair loose.  I just love running my fingers through my hair, the hair fall surprisingly has reduced - i was so worried, I even begged pardon to my hair for putting it through chemical and heat treatments as part of this process and was pleading it not to protest by dropping off.

So, I am loving myself and I also coincided my hair smoothening just before my team meeting so I got to show off my new found fantasy.

I am now leaving you all with a picture taken during the meeting that I was MCing, by one of my silent team mates without my knowledge,

Dont I look quite content with myself?  I am.

Folks you would do me a favour if you leave a comment. wont you? besides, I truly  would love listening to you, so dont forget to leave a comment on my blog :-)

Tears

They threaten to peep out
Uncontrollably. Any moment.
Got to remind them relentlessly
They are precious expressions
Not to be wasted on inane stuff
 
They retreat without a trace
Leaving their sting of saltiness
on a open raw wound
I nurse the throbbing wound
In realization, its not easy to heal
 
Pain, now is soothing
‘cos it is better than dignity besmirched
One day in the future, a zillion stings later
The wound will begin to heal
Time, unmistakeably, is a great healer
 
Till then
Silent. Forlorn. Wounded.
I continue persistently
to give lessons in obedience
To my precious tears.

Vincy Joseph

Monday, July 02, 2012

Alone in the woods

The road is winding and long
And I see as far as my eye can see
I am alone with no one around
loneliness pricking into my bones.

I am still trying to enjoy the walk
Hoping someone ostensibly caring
And so full of love
Will come along the journey

Is it too much
to ask for kindness and care
Someone who would really
Be there for support

Every question has an answer
And every answer shreds the heart
Into a million pieces and
Its obvious you don’t care anymore.

Shrapnel of words
Destroying all that comes its way
Hits in disbelief, disdain
Leaving just an image without a soul

Wish you could see the pain
Behind every action and smile
Worser still is the fact that
You never look at my eyes

Makes me want to run for cover
Hide from the world
Close my eyes and get into a slumber
But I know

The road is winding and long
And I see as far as my eye can see
I am alone with no one around
loneliness pricking into my bones.