I heard Narayana Murthy, chief mentor of Infy, the other day on TV, say " The softest pillow is clear self conscience" - I am not sure if I was looking for the softest pillow when I took this decision.
But my decision certainly has more to it than the softest pillow part - it is taken out of love, care and consideration ( of self ? which one?). Is that what Jeevan Vidhya taught us anyway?
I took this decision strangely on a day when everything was going on fine. I was so happy and amidst all that happiness, I thought it is time to decide, now or never.. It was my decision a decision that came from deep within my soul and I had to prepare myself psychologically, run it over and over again in my mind, write it down and get myself to accept it so that when that moment came, i could just go ahead and do it.
I thought of all the pros and cos - like what I will lose in life ( that was quite a bit ) and what i will gain( noone will ever know it, though ). It was a herculean task with surprisingly pro's and con's balancing out making it all the more difficult to ensure that the decision can be taken at all in the first place..
But triumph was mine. I stuck to my guns ( atleast till this moment). It was difficult to start with, it is difficult to continue. Pain, ache, sweat, tears, anxiety, tempatation - name it and I have gone through it all in a short time.
I asked for divine intervention, gave it a new year resolution's tint and what not, just to ensure that i go ahead with it.
Everything is going as planned - hope it will continue. Results are showing as expected and lets see how long i can hold on to this resolve..... and for those who are breaking your head on what the decision is - its some load shedding.. He he he