Unable to open my eyes, I am still in a world that I have
never been before. Ever. In the distance, I could hear the chatter of
Parakeets and cooing Doves and I am longing to have a look at them from the window.
My bed is the middle of the room, and through my half closed
eyes, I can see another pair peering into me. I moan a bit and
unable to move, go back to my slumber.
Interrupted by discomfort, I try to turn around a bit on the
bed, but the chirps of the birds, calm me down. A burly hand gently pats and
reassures me. I know that guy hasn’t slept a wink. I let things
be. I have no choice.
This was 22nd August 2018. How do I
remember the date so well, you may ask!
How can I forget?
I am going to take you, my dear readers, through some parts
of my life, that I want to let go.
Writing it down here always have been comforting and in more than one
way acts truly as my therapy.
Always
confident about my health, an unplanned medical check, didn’t prepare me enough
for a huge turning point. The doctor
who was doing the Ultrasound scan was taking longer than usual and his face was
turning grim and I could sense something was wrong. The doc, a pleasant chap, told me at the end,
Ma’am, I see two desmoid tumors in your
abdomen and I want you to consult an surgical oncologist at the earliest.
Myriad
thoughts ran through my head when I drove back home that day. My parents were home, mom was unwell and I
was taking care of her. J was away at
Cochin and I know he will freak out at this message just like me, which he did.
What
followed this diagnosis is something that I would never want to go through ever
again. Waiting for doctors
consultation’s took most of our time.
And we met 7 doctors across the city from 7 different hospitals in less
than 10 days. J came down to Chennai on
a prolonged leave. Painful tests, Scans,
allergies to medications administered for the tests, fear of the unknown, tears
all followed.
The
verdict was the same – from most of the doctors. I had fairly large ovarian tumor, on which a
biopsy cannot be done, since it would upstage the tumor especially if it is
malignant, so I need to go under the knife and remove my uterus and the ovaries
through a frozen section ( which simply means they would do a biopsy when the
surgery is on), better if I did it with an oncologist rather than a
gynecologist.
We only
had to decide when and with whom. The
decision was not as simple as it sounds.
Finally
in less than two weeks of the diagnosis I went under the knife on 21st
of August 2018. 10 days of
hospitalization and for once I had J all for myself. He didn’t move out of my hospital room in
those 10 days. Poor soul did not sleep a wink most of the days I was in the
hospital.
I was
grounded for 2 months – had to be on complete rest for medical reasons. No driving, no bending down, no lifting
weights, not even walking too fast. My
schedules went in for a toss the whole house hold stepped up and rose to the
occasion. J made a painful choice of
coming back to Chennai for good at the cost of his job. Nidhu, my 6 year old
niece was my nurse for 2 weeks. My
sister came over and stayed with me during my post-operative period.
It
turned out that the tumor was benign and
I recovered pretty fast, much to the surprise of the surgeon. Thank god for not so small mercies in life.
The
whole process has been traumatic and I am still recovering from its emotional
impact. In
hindsight, it was truly a divine intervention that I even went in for a medical
check, given the fact that the appointment itself in the first place a big
mistake made by the healthcare team. Literally, an unknown hand, pushed me for
a routine check and this one surfaced from nowhere and my early diagnosis
helped me to get away without much complications. An ovarian tumor can go undetected for long
periods in time and can develop complications that could be fatal.
I know I
have gotten all of you worried, putting this out here, but I want to assure you
all that I have been able to get out of it pretty well and if you know the
stuff I have been doing to get myself back on track, I am sure you all would be
proud of me. And I am going to write
about it too.
Among
some blessings in life like family and friends, if I was sure of something, it
was your well wishes.
