Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Its that time of the year - our Anniversary !!!

This is what we told each other today, when we woke up.
18 Years!!! That’s half my age ( well, I missed an almost there ). Yet, Unbelievable.

When we started we never thought we will make it to this many years. Now that we survived the marriage without killing each other all these years ( yeah that was a possibility just with the remote of the telly), we are determined to make it as difficult as possible for each other – oh that does not deter us from living together for another 18 more years or more.

You know what, how ever hard I tried, I could not come up with a mushy mushy post today, but the fact is that 18 years still baffles both of us equally.

Okay Jokes apart, please observe a two minute silence today at 11.00 am.

And what did you think? That silence was for our 18th Wedding Anniversary?

No way. You got me wrong folks. Today is Martyrs day and the two minute silence was for our “Father of the nation”. To know more about Martyrs Day in India, go here..

I am a little disoriented with all the excitement of 18 year completion. Here is a man who grew a beard just because his wife loved men with beards, gritted his teeth and smiled when his wife cut her hair short, when he actually likes long hair, makes sure she is never alone in the kitchen, puts up with her channel surfing and watches all the crap that she watches patiently, allowed her to dream and made sure she is independent and a lot more.

I feel blessed today.  I am sure he feels the same too.  :-)

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Inheritance: minus the Joy !

After  Ammama’s  demise in the month of November 2012, the world looks very different.  Even today, I cannot think of Ammama, without tears welling up and a huge lump in my throat.  Ammama is my moms mom  - The maiden visitors of my blog can view my writings about her here, herehere and here.

I was one of her favorite grand children,  ( I was the second in the list, I guess :) ) purely because of being a big chatterbox.  I would score definitely higher in that compared to all her other grandchildren ( she has 13 of them). I was also the only one probably to show affection openly, I would hug her, kiss her and when I sit next to her I keep holding her hands.  That was my way of connecting to her.

picture taken sometime in Jan
There was one other thing I used to do – Earlier when Ammama travelled to cities where her children lived,  my mom and her siblings were against her wearing her traditional Mekka Mothirams.  These are unique jewelry worn by Syrian Christian women of Kerala starting from the 18th century or so.  They are moon shaped ear jewelry  made of Gold worn on the upper cartilage of  the ear.  I have heard from Ammama that her ear was pierced when she was a little child and she used to wear  Mekka Mothirams when she was  barely 3 or 4.

She got newer and bigger ones for her marriage ( at the age of 13 ) and later in the 70’s or so my uncle changed and made them smaller as they were really big.  She wasn’t very happy about that. The Mekka Mothirams are very close to ammama’s heart and she always thought that she looked better with them.  So when her children protested to her wearing it when she was travelling,  ( purely for reasons of safety), her  heart sank. 

I loved Ammama, with or without the Mekka Mothirams but since I knew she liked it, I used to argue and fight with her children ( read my mom and uncles) to allow her to wear them.  One of my logical reasoning was that there is no one in our family who would ever wear a Mekka Mothiram and so wherever she is, she must be allowed to wear them. She is our cultural representative.  Most of the time  they gave in to my arguments and allowed ammama to wear it.  Of late, when she travelled they did not bother removing it. 
After her death, we have the 7th day and 41st day ceremonies in the church and at home.  I was so touched that  my older uncle and his wife stayed on at the Tharavadu, to attend mass and offer prayers at her cemetery daily for the next 40 days after her demise. Not many children would be willing to spend this kind of time for a deceased parent. After her 7th day ceremonies, before most of Ammama’s children dispersed,  the family felt it was right that that I be given her Mekka Mothirams.  (Ammama was always a giver and she had so much to give all her children even after her death).  

The Mekka Mothirams truly look strange to me now, because all I can see is an Ammama shaped void in between them. Its so painful to  look at them  and today I mustered the courage to bring them out and photograph them to tell you  the tale of Ammama’s Mekka Mothirams that I have come to inherit.  

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

New Year Post

2013 has arrived and we are already 10 days into the new year – nevertheless its not too late to wish you all a “A blessed New year!”

2013 brought my biggest dormant fear live. Couple of days into the new year, the 12th standard public examination Time table was released. I am sure you would want to know - 1st of March is when the exam begins. Me tensed ? worried? No you have it wrong. I am petrified. What a way to begin a year I say!

The last month was worse, if not bizarre. One of my cousins in her early thirties was diagnosed with cancer, and had to go through an immediate surgery. Before all of us cousins, got out of that shock, another cousin, a little older than me, had a heart condition that needed an open heart surgery. Unfortunately, she swapped some medication and ended up with a blood clot in the brain and had to go through an emergency surgery in her head before the heart surgery. How weird can it get?

Another young cousin, had to go through a simple gynaec surgery. She is the type who is scared of even an injection, and was very worried about the surgery. On the day of the surgery, all arrangements made, the nursing assistant called her name, and there she went – swooning down. Her pressure dropped and had to postpone her surgery. Her surgery was successful, initially, but she developed some complications later and had to come under the knife again, within 3 days of the first surgery. Poor soul. My maternal uncle had to go through an heart surgery second time, due to complications, an unexpected one again.

A close friends father and another friend’s mom ( at least this one I got to hear later) were in the hospital as they suffered heart attacks. All these in the month of December, keeping us on tenterhooks.

So many families in the hospital, more than wishing each other Christmas we were taking updates from the ICU’s of various hospitals across the country. More calls were made to comfort and console each other.

Christmas was nothing but sober. Ammama, is still on all our minds and hearts, and after all this growing up, many of us feel orphaned without her. :-( a new year without Ammama - I need to get used to this.

The positive thing about 2013 is all my unwell cousins, uncle and friends’ parents are out of ICU’s, recovering well, back at their homes. So, after all the dark black clouds, time for the silver lining.

A grandchild is on his/her way – My sister is expecting a baby. Dennu, is going to be a real Big brother. My parents would be seeing a baby feet after 10 years in the family and they are more than thrilled.

My wish for you as we traverse through this year, 2013, is this - strength for the day, Rest for the labor, Light for the way, Grace for the trials, Help from above, unfailing sympathy and undying love. Godspeed.