Emotional Chaos

When the sky is gloomy, dark with thunderclouds

Simple conversations with you were my solace

You were my sky full of stars

And a heart full of hope

Like a bird clipped of its wings

Land devastated after a Tsunami

Dense bushes after a forest fire

You have left me with a tattered soul

Memories surprise me with their lightning bolts
Hiding in the shadows and pouncing unexpected

They knock me out and stop the world around me

And shatters the rhythm of my ordinary life’s magic

Lyrics have a completely different meaning now

Shards of glass pierce and shred me

I cannot fathom which I am missing the most

the best friend in you or my solace of a rainy day?

How could we harm our friendship?

Head bowed in shame, I know not what to do

Unable to look at my eyes in the mirror

I loathe myself.

Breaking inside every moment

burying myself in guilt, Insanity grips me tight

In the confines of my loneliness, I scream in silence

While images of a happy decade fade into oblivion.

Vincy Joseph

Stalker

You hover around silently but deliberately

Rarely making your presence felt

This is certain though

That you will get to me some day. 

Do you spare anyone at all?

But alas like everyone else, I move on

Flouting you in my ignorance

Even when you take hold of others 

You can touch me anytime

As time speeds on as usual

Every day is a step closer to you

Do I even fathom  this ? 

I think of you, my friend

Often these days

I don’t know why

Making me pray for an easy transition 

Your cover now is intact, the mask in place

The quiet predator is on the prowl

An universal truth, yet a mystery

But one day, the cover will be blown!!

 

Vincy Joseph

Valentines Day!!!

I personally do not believe in special days such as these, but nevertheless, since there is so much hype and ado about these “so-called-Special” days, I was giving it a thought and what this day signifies to me.

 

Well, for a person who remembers the dates so well, ( I remember my close ones birthdays / anniversaries and special dates ) even without a diary or a planner, or the social media sites, that makes these days so impersonal.  I get hundreds of wishes on FB for my birthday, but the calls that some of my loved ones make at probably atrocious time of the day from whichever part of the world they are in, makes my days special.  Some do email / text me, and there are also those who do not even call me, but that does change the way I love them. So, to me, its not these special days coined and marketed so much by the western world that matters the most, but the actual days and incidents that one remembers so well that makes all the difference.

 

For example, I met Joe on September 8^th, at a common friend’s wedding, and this was an arranged meeting. We didn’t even talk to each other.   I never miss that date to wish Joe Happy Anniversary, Anniversary of our first meeting.  Can you believe, I still have the saree that I was forced to wear for that wedding?  I have never worn it after that day, even once in the last 20 + years. I am a sentimental fool that way. So If someone asks me how long have you known a close friend, I would have the exact years that I have known that person – Oh I don’t remember the dates of every Tom, Dick and Harry, whom I meet,   I only remember these of the special ones.

 

That does not mean that I totally ignore these “advertised& marketed-special” days.  I do wish people on these days and there are loved ones who wish me too.  The first one today was from, no not hubby dear, from Anita, my friend, at an ungodly hour of 3.30 am IST, she must have just then woken up in Singapore.

 

The whole point is love need not be expressed just on one specified day, but on all occasions and in multiple ways, not just by saying “ I love you”. 

 

I was pondering over this point and thought, while I await Ramesh’s updates every single day, or when I hope that all is well with him, during  his long haul drive that he has undertaken, that I guess is love for a blog-friend.   or while worrying over Nancy who has not updated her blog for the last 9 months or so, I guess that’s also love.  Wanting to talk to Rekha so much, while I keep piling excuses of all kinds, is another form of love.  Dennu saying to me, have fun ma, I guess is love.  Joe kept calling me so many times, to check if was overdoing my weekly cleaning, today,  I guess that is love. A friend was talking to me some time back about some unfortunate events in her life, and half way through we both were crying and I guess that’s love too.  And to another friend I had to speak my mind and say the decision that she has taken to walk away from marriage, is not right ( and I seem to be the only friend against it)  - I did it out of love for that friend. 

 

Love also need not be an action or a word.  I realize the concern in someone’s voice is love.  a smile / laughter / a wink / a look / a mime / a hug  or a loved one simply being there for you,  all these are statements of love.  someone checking on you asking how your day has been, is love.  Letting go can be love too. Sometimes letting go is the best way to show love.  I did that today, and it hurts, like hell.  And I know for sure I did that out of unconditional love. So many ways in which we can love.

 

Here is a wish to you all,  may we all have enough opportunities to show our love to our dear ones and let us do it as much as we can all through the year, all through our lives. And BTW, Happy Valentines day!!

 

And beātitūdō friends.  It simply means Happiness in Latin.  ( for those who know Bible, I am preparing for my Catechism classes tomorrow, and the topic of my session happens  to be “The Beatidues” )

Some trivial stuff

Eat, Pray, Love- the beautiful book by Elizabeth Gilbert has been going with me for a long time now, wherever I went. My son, commented the other day, how long have been reading this book ma? I took an atrocious 3 months or more to complete this book. I enjoyed this book and loved the way Liz could just put down all about her without inhibitions for the whole world to see. This book is an extensive, i guess unadulterated account of her very extraordinary journey for more than a year to three different places.

Some day I wish I could do something like her - travelling for my own sake. :-) I still dont know if I would even enjoy that, but I know if I have to travel it would be across Europe, a back packing trip.

What struck me most was this Italian term Attraversiamo which means Lets Cross over.

I have been lately struggling with a specific relationship with a long time friend. I know we were drifting apart for some time now, but the question is am I giving in too much to keep that friendship just alive. I am not even able to make out if it is an one sided effort. I find myself at an impasse with this friend.

There seems to be a hundred reasons for me to give up on this person, but am I, the only person looking for that one reason to keep this friendship going? To what level should I give in? I keep telling myself, that I do not expect anything out of this friendship, which to a large extent is true. But when you do not expect anything from a friendship, you dont expect to be hurt either, dont you?

I dont deny the fact that there are some wonderful memories that I cannot afford to forget or be thankful for. and the best part is this person has no clue on how I feel, and that is solely because I dont let this person know - my point is may be I am not comfortable with letting this person know how I feel.

Doesn’t that mean, its not a strong friendship? Doesn’t that mean this relationship is falling apart?

I can fight my gut out with my 'true' friends, and go back with a sheepish grin anytime. or I can just decide not to speak and tell my true friends that, and I can undoubtedly believe, that when I make that one call, after months, my true friend will pick that call, even if its midnight and say ' so your time has come baby?' and go on like there was not a break. My true friends figure out there is something wrong with me when I utter the first word.

True friends are a blessing. I try hard to be that true friend to most of the people I believe are my friends.

I wish I could do the Attraversiamo. To just move on, to get to another place, leave behind some good memories of a happy friendship.

Attraversiamo, my friend - Let us cross over. I dont want to get hurt anymore, or dwell on negativity, just trying to keep an one sided friendship alive.

P.S:

I keep most of my confusions / doubts / fears and transitions to myself. Some of them surface in my conversations. Very few come up in my blog.

I would get over this too. :-)  It may take a while longer to get over Liz though!

Was at it again....

yep, yep.  I was at it again.  ahhh.. the quilling, I mean.

Today is Anita's birthday. I have written about her many times in my blog before and truly consider her a blessing. 

Quilled this card for her, which took a little over 2 hours ( my timing has improved ).  I saw her eyes fill with happiness though she had a bunch of things going on in her mind.  She was in Chennai as her father was unwell and came visiting, not a great situation to be in. 

So, here is a peek into what I did for her on her birthday.

Close-up view of the card

The inside of the card with an extempore verse for her!!

The quilled card with pearl ensemble.

Wicked Joy of having women friends !

A TON is always special.  This is my 100th post and just as the number suggests a special one.

Having been brought up in a metro, (Chennai is definitely a metro, folks) as a person I do have as many men friends as women friends. I was raised in a suburb in Chennai where there was no dearth for families of my own community and having lived with a large set of second cousins and distant relatives only helped foster these friendships. Today some of my best friends are men with whom there is a bond that dates back to childhood and those growing up juvenile years and memories of those days still bring nostalgia. While I studied in an all Girls school and later all Women’s college and the first two years of work (what a ridiculous fate?) were with women, I never felt funny or inhibited to strike a conversation with a boy (those days) or men because of my background and upbringing. Though today I might not be in constant touch with all those so called “men” friends ( in my mind, I realize with these close friends there’s no such distinction) we all can just pick up conversations from wherever, and move along.

A couple of months back, I was going for a funeral and wanted to know the exact location of the church, ( hubby dear gets worked up if he does not have the right directions, or worse still he will stress me out) and was wondering who would know and instantly this childhood friend flashed up in my mind and I knew he lived there. I didn’t even have to think twice, when I had to dial his number and imagine I had not spoken to him for more than 6 months and we could go ahead with a conversation as if we were talking to each other almost every day. Am making a mental note now to call him coz this reminds me I haven’t called him after that :-) The point is with close friends most of us are comfortable regardless of their gender – that’s why they are our best pals right?

Ever noticed I am writing something tangentially opposite to the blog topic that I start – its becoming a habit. Mental note two. Stick to your topic when you start one.

Okay folks this blog is about Women friends – the kind that I have befriended at my earlier workplace and today most of us work in good positions in different organisations. And that’s a pure “women only group” and does not deserve to be trivialized just because we are wicked to each other.

If I were to record our everyday lunch sessions those days that would be great fodder for interesting blog posts every single day and that would be like leading myself to the gallows straight - With all the information and fun going public in a virtual platform. One of the things that each one of us in the group miss these days in our current workplaces, is the lunch sessions laced with entertainment, torrents of laughter, liberal dose of movie dialogues, lots of sarcasm, pun and of course delicious home made lunch from many homes.

On days when there are no incidents that would bring in laughter from outside our group, or when we do not have enough “matter” to strip some of the folks with whom we used to work then, of their trousers, the group directs its energies on one its members and we do not even spare our spouses, children, relatives and even our extended support systems. I (in fact, almost everyone in the group) have been victim of this group-directed-humor many times and any attempts of mild disapproval to the comments will elicit more damage than before, leading to the group’s general sense of cheap gratification. We are so professional otherwise, the lunch room kind of transforms us, into these wicked avatars, squealing in laughter like school girls and unleashing our potential to tickle up our funny bones. I guess that was a great stress buster for all of us.

Another interesting part of our lunch then was the fact that we ate from any lunch box that anyone brings in and we do not stick to strictly our own boxes. It became such an habit that I ( and of course the others in the group) never feel complete when we do not dig our hands into someone else’s plate during a meal, be it at home, office or a five star restaurant. Not too late to pick some good habits(?) if you had not picked them when you were much younger, eh?

The funniest part was that a normal incident that anyone told will be subjected to an extremely wild outrageous imagination, surreptiously flavored with enough spice and will be narrated during the lunch time with so much deliberation, natural flow, and right amount of collateral damage that it sounds completely believable even for the person who narrated it in the first place and after a while everyone ( including the person who narrated it) remembers only the contrived version and not the original one.

One incident I remember dating back to 2005 was the one connecting me and my travel agent. Joe then was in Manila on an assignment and Dennu and I were to join him there for a month long holiday and I was working with this guy named “Salaam” I do not remember his full name or his travel agency’s name. There were a whole lot of issues in my travel because the Filipinos thought I am a potential settler there and were refusing my Visa and I had to interact with Salaam every day. Mind you I have not seen Salaam even once till date. Two of the women friends from the lunch group sit next to me and with the high decibel levels that I speak normally, there is no need for them to eavesdrop at all and after a month’s conversations with Salaam, this topic started surfacing in our lunch meetings – I got royally ragged along with Salaam, whom none of us have seen, and that poor chap was pulled into every conversation and the group came to a conclusion that even if I do not make it to Manila, I have become good enough to write a book titled “Njanum Ente Salaamum” (the title roughly translates to “Me and my Salaam” only that it sounds a little intimate in a regional language), which would easily be a best seller. I never ended up going to Manila, my Visa was rejected finally and we had to settle down for a shorter holiday at Singapore and Malaysia. The group still remembers this book ( see its as though I have written this book) and almost every incident around this after so many years.

There was one person in our group though, who was not very fluent in the regional language and she got lost many times during the conversations that we had, but nevertheless would pick up pieces and tag along with our conversations at right intervals. Sometimes she used to stop us and ask for translations and we realize her inability to follow supersonic speed delivery of regional language dialogues with various connotations from real life, imaginary and from movies and bring her to speed.

Take for incidence a simple conversation that I had with my maid – she was at my flat then. I was instructing her in Tamil to bring down all the curtains and show the tailor, who would come home, for some rework. But later I realized I missed some vital points for my listeners in the next bays. And I was saying “Sulaiman varuvaaru, neenga ellathayum kazhattittu avarukku kaatidunga” which roughly translates to “Sulaiman will come, you remove everything and show him” – I cannot forget how I got blown to shreds for this piece of dialogue thoughtlessly said over phone. The maid understood what I had to say but this group of so called friends indulged in Distortion, disrespect and downright torture. They can be ruthless ( most of the times). And we laughed about it until it actually hurt..

The best part was we had nick names for most people with whom we interacted at office ( other than the group members ourselves) and we were so deft with these names, that anyone else in the room might not even understand the references let alone our sarcasm. We still continue to refer some people with those titles even today, though we do not work with them now.

The dramatization, humor, right references and the accompanied sound effects makes any conversation hilarious. One of the WW ( wicked women) was explaining something she saw at someone’s home or I don’t remember where.. the conversation went like this “ She has big big..” and there was a undue pregnant pause at the wrong moment. The entire group then came forward, all eyes popping out, and in chorus said “ hmm….. big, big whaaaaat” and the person explaining the actual thread of conversation looks very blank at the entire group and says “Ammies” (grindstones). The Chorus then says.. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. We thought something else.. and there was this high pitched laughter…..whole conversation is dissected and references are made which we cannot forget even today.

One character which got crucified in our conversations those days was a person called CSN. He used to sit in the far end of our wing in the same floor as ours and in a cabin. In fact, he had the corner most cabin in our floor and we do not meet him at all. A very senior person both in age and in position.

Being a “women only group” we notify each other of any interesting “Sale ” that happens around town, at the most trivial opportunity we go out for lunches (our office was centrally located close to shopping malls and restaurants then), and we have even gone for a movie once.

A benevolent member of this group announced the sales at “Naidu hall” - NaiHaa as it is called now is famous for its lingerie collection. And there was a particular brand that a couple of them had picked up and was heavily recommended to the others in the group. I was the only one who could not make it to the sales and that day being the last day of the sales had to leave a little early to catch the sales. But as I was going out of my bay I realized I haven’t told my buddies that and I called out to them “ am going to pick Loveable Acoba”, knowing fully well that none sitting in the other bays will make out what it is. The next day’s lunch topic was how even CSN heard about the sale at Naidu hall (thanks to my decibel levels) and he picked up Loveable Acoba for his family. And our group had this special ability to build on imaginary conversations and make it sound so real… See, how people in no way connected to us, get pulled into our conversations and become an integral part of it?

Recently one of the WW happened to meet CSN in a train, and she couldn’t help laughing because the first thing that came to her mind was “Loveable Acoba”. CSN is a senior head within the organisation and he was very “ matter-of- fact” with this friend of ours and was a little suspicious about the overfriendliness of our friend and must be wondering the reason behind her extra dose of smile.

Today as I mentioned we are in different parts of the globe, in different organisations doing very well but can pick up wickedness where we left if only we can set our eyes on each other, with no less sarcasm and fun in all our conversations. We get to meet each other rarely these days, but if we meet it would be ruckus and fully loaded with fun. God save the souls around us then – we are completely oblivious to anything else.

I sent a picture of my session that I conducted recently announcing to my ex-lunch friends about it and look at the instant responses from three of them.. ( It is important to read it with all the background effects explained earlier)

Response 1: Objection your honor…. Naduvulae irukkara oru vella thols mattum unna paakkaamae vaera engayooo moraikkurraar… how dare…. I’m sure you would have taken some penalty from him… correettaaa… (translation of the regional language bit – the one white person in the centre is not looking at you and is staring elsewhere )

Response 2 : How many AICs ( L2 / L1 Heads ) “Bracketed” so far? Pl update the status :-) :-)

Also how dare to take this snap from long shot…..pl. publish another tight close up snap. :-)

Response 3 : Very impressive .... get them closer to you.. Warmer feel !!! :-)))

Needless to say, I had a mighty laugh and this post is a dedication to the wicked Joy of having women friends and the ethereal connect of our minds, pure fun and laughter that we evoke in each other :-) May our tribe increase !!

Coincidences – Are they lucky Accidents?

What is your take on coincidences? Are they Chance, Luck or Acts of ‘God”? ( now I am involving the big man in.. :-)

One thing is certain about coincidences. The phenomenon fascinates believers and skeptics alike. It's a porthole into one of the most interesting philosophical questions we can ask: Are the events of our lives ultimately objective or subjective? Is there a deeper meaning, an overarching purpose to the universe? Or are we the lucky accidents of evolution, living our precious but brief lives in a fundamentally random world that has only the meaning we choose to give it? Are they easily explained, or so improbable they must signify something?

Whether coincidences are meaningful or not is a mystery. But our talent for noticing and manipulating them is increasingly clear :-). To the mystically inclined, however, coincidence is a synchronicity, the purposeful occurrence of two seemingly unrelated events. Can we simply state that “ It just happened and doesn’t mean a thing” and move on? At tleast in my case I cannot.

To me Coincidences are mysterious, important and I revel in the connections the coincidences tend to bring forth. I do take note of them and I am such a silly sentimental fanatic. Yikes.. but that’s what I am and I am being truthful about it.

Like the friend who is connected to me by the coincidence that I am going to tell you says ( Okay, this friend didn’t tell me all these, I have added some flavor to the views) that coincidences are created by us consciously or subconsciously (mostly) because we want it so bad that we somehow make the coincidences happen and most of the time we don't even know it. The Universe only facilitates these coincidences to happen in our favour. The reason is because the Universe is kind and generous and the universe literally conspires getting everything together to make these coincidences happen. Maybe true !

I have mentioned this in my blog before, that I  have taken up a new position at a new organisation where I have specifically requested for “No Travel” – I have done so much travel in my earlier job and had resisted travel for my own personal reasons. I had no clue that I would be travelling as part of my current work. But there I was travelling to Delhi, out of the blue, to facilitate a program.

I flew into Delhi pretty late, ( thanks to a delayed flight) and I was not keeping very well that night. Infact my headache ( which is recurring these days very too often) was so bad that I puked a couple of times in a meticulously clean hotel room ( of course in the bowl) and didn’t even have the energy to change into my night clothes, let alone notice what a nice room the new organisation had booked me into. My session  went on well  the next day and I realised that I truly enjoyed facilitation of sessions and was grateful for the opportunity.

It must have been the headache and the effect of puking ( yikes, how I hate it!!), I had the continuous feeling of being in flight… floating senselessly even while sitting in the cab travelling towards Delhi Airport on a hot evening. Temperatures there are at 42 degree Celsius around this time. My headache had not completely deserted me – It gave me the panic attacks of returning anytime. I actually had a headache.

I reached the airport and there even before getting into the airport my friend surprised me appearing from nowhere. Again because Delhi is not very familiar to me (unlike a Chennai, Bangalore and Hyd) I had some time at hand and there we were in an uncommon plan, flying to different destinations from the capital but coincidentally together at the airport. Unbeleivable coincindence or a lucky accident?

It was a good time spent – I was amused by the jokes, the funny stuff, the pranks and it was fun to be with someone who you so rarely meet ( or is it unerring and infallible aim for my funny bone?)  and all through this I was floating around lighter, as if I had a peg of alcohol, that light hearted feeling – definitely the effect of my threatening headache and the after effect of my puking last night, which my friend would never agree to :-). 

I  was in this complete senseless stupor, the effect was almost like stuff hitting me at supersonic speeds and I dont sense it all, and before I react to something, ( my response to stimuli was so slow, almost nil), there is something else coming up and you get the general drift?  ( luckily since i was sane and not under the effect of alcohol, I remember everything and I am making a mental note to get back on all those later, to my friend).

All along I was continuously ( at the back of my mind  - imagine already I am in this senseless stupor and no wonder my responses were slow, I was trying to multitask too) wondering what this sort of chance meeting is trying to bring out.  the reason behind the coincidence? Perhaps there is some sort of message for me?. There must be a reason. Or as my friend said is it simply a fact that when u want something all the universe conspires to help you?

I am deeply religious and I remember when I started from Chennai, I saw a message on the rear side of a car just in front of my cab, which read like this, ‘the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore “ Psalms 121:8 and I remember feeling comforted just when I had started the journey to Noida.

And this coincidence was as though God just winked at me while he sent that friend to Delhi Airport.

Thank you Lord for all the small mercies in life. Life, definitely is better with them :-) :-)

An author – deep down in my friend!

After reading Arundhati’s Roys work, God of small things, am still dazzled that she picked her Bookers prize for her debut novel and that’s the only novel that she has ever written (till date), though she has other kinds of literary works to her credit.

I was reminded about a close friend who has such brilliant linguistic capabalities that if only he starts writing, he would easily be one of the best in the country / globe. Added to his linguistic capabilities are his creative abilities, a good sense of humour, spontaneity and intelligence. Its sheer ignominy that he hasn’t started to write.

I thought of sharing a philosophical piece of his writing that he wrote to me in 2003 as an email, (with absolutely no modifications, not even spelling corrections ) that I still hold as one of my prized possessions.

….There are pleasant breezes now and occasional rains and I love to walk around now here. This is time of year when all the cobwebs get cleared out of our mind - the old brain seems to work better, evrything seems to be in a kind of harmony. I have a partly superstitious belief that things begin to move and stir at times like this and are building towards something. Its like when you follow a stream (I don't know if you've ever done it) trying to see how far it goes (either upstream or downstream) Tiny signs indicate to you when you are close to the source - the water begins to get clearer, the sound is more like a tinkle rather than a splashing, you can see different types of fish and suddenly you are there.

So too I notice tiny signs right now - it all seems to point towards the fact that I am approaching something important - any moment the veil will be drawn back and I will see the road ahead clearly, far more clearly than ever before.

Or like going out to sea in a boat, you leave the shore and waves further and further behind and reach a calm patch, where you can see almost to the bottom, but it happened so gradually you didn't notice ...... and then again, it can just as suddenly look rough, there are huge swells, and you look down and realize you are over a huge rock barrier.

At such times it seems like you are almost in a trance, walking around in the world in a dream, and all the people you meet are just floating by on other boats, and as you pass each other you notice that they are looking at you and you look at them too, in the same way that boats pass each other at sea, and just for a fleeting moment you wonder what kind of journey they are having.

These are things that I think we experience most keenly as children, and it is almost like a magnetic field around you and around everything else - everything emits an energy you can almost feel and touch. It fades away as we grow older and have too many words for everything. But suddenly on certain days or times of year it comes back and magic happens.

I don’t get such emails these days from anyone, let alone this friend, but now that I have blogged I know I can get back anytime to this.

And to imagine if someone can whisk up something like this for an unthoughtful casual email, how well will he do as an author ?

My friend is the author waiting to be one. Don’t you think so?

Blessings come in many packages... you definitely are one of the best !!

For more than a couple of years I have been wanting to wirte a blog post about one of the most important people in my life. Wirting needs that urge to pour out and words then just flow out automatically when a blog topic comes to the mind (atleast in my case) There were many times when I wanted to write about this good friend and for reasons not even known to me I had put off writing this blog for a long time now.

Even before I introduce this friend to you all ( it is as though, I have a great fan  following for my blogspace, that I address my readers with so much flamboyance, pardon my silly fantasies :-), I am well aware I hardly have any, and the number of people visiting the blog post increases just because I keep visiting this space that often ..  LOL ), coming back to the point in discussion, my friend, I have a little note for her.

Did I tell you that I am so grateful that you are in my life?

I do not say it enough, but it is not because I do not feel it. It is hard putting in words, what you mean to me
There are so many things you do, that add up to a big part of my life
I love you and just wanted you to know

:-) :-) :-)

One of the most vibrant, chattering, ever-smiling, smart, intelligent, stylish, supportive, caring, kind and loving human being. Her memories are such a comfort and the very mention of her name brings in Peace to my mind.  If there is anything closer to unconditional love, it is the bond that we share with each other,  She always brought a smile to anyone who she came in touch with, even at the cost of hiding her own worries.

 

This blog is  about my good friend Anita.  I am smiling when I key in her name and thats the effect she has on me. I truly beleive that she is one the blessings from above.  We met professionally and it didnt take too long for us to hit it out together as freinds.  Since our relationship started professionally and we were at the same level at work, we did have differences at work and we fought tooth and nail about  certain work related issues  occasionally until one of us were convinced.  But as I mentioned that was not frequent and we knew we were a team and we stood together.  So, it was not surprising, when others in our team dealt with us they knew we were more friends than colleagues.

 

The more sweeter memories that I have about Anita is all the wild shopping we have done at Bangalore ( commerical street), Hyderabad ( general Bazaar) and in Pune ( Lakshmi market?). Our work had taken us to multiple places and we travelled a lot both in trains and flights.  We were so comfortable in each others' company and amidst so many colleagues, I could distinctly see her as my friend among a pack of colleagues.

I still remember the NLP programme that we went together and it was on my birthday and she made me feel so special.  While I have scores of memories about her, a funny one that often comes to my mind was when we both travelled together to Hyderabad ( I guess it is to hyd) and there was so much turbulence that particular day in the flight and both held our hands so tightly and we almsot thought that was our last flight.  And in between we were also gigling so hard.  Amidst all those giggles, Anita was telling me ( and  that was also the time we had moved into our independant new house) Vincy, you know what, the insurance for fliers who die in an aircraft crash, is so high .. just imagine  Joe ( my husband) can clear all the housing loan and they ( my bubby and son) will have a new house, a new mommy,, just imagine that Vincy.. and in between all that turbulence, we were actually pissing in our pants and we were laughing.. oh what fun...

At work Anita was one of the most capable people I have seen, most networked, tech savvy and gets work done in a Jiffy.  Be it our discussions about our childrens eduation or bitching about a lot of people who worked with us ( oh we did a great deal of that) or working together or an assigment, we thoroughly enjoyed it. It is almost as if she is part of my family.

It was pure Joy travelling with her, we kept joking, laughing and basically enjoyed life with each other. I knew I loved her so much when she decided to move to China for professional reasons and when her mom who was as desperate as me, called me to ask if she has reached China and I just broke down and we were crying over the phone. and I knew I will miss this woman like hell.. and sure I did.

After she left to China, it was as though a part of me went missing and I felt so alone and there was sense of loneliness.  Our chat lines and phone helped us survive. Today we both have left our earlier organisations, we are in different places of the globe, she in Singapore and me in Chennai separated by miles but closer at heart. 

We interact with each other regularly, ( thank technology for that ) and last week I had a mail from her which was crisp and just one question.  Do you remember this comb?

This was a Roots comb that I had given Anita some years back.

And she also followed it up with another mail.
I use it in office … :-) Its on my desk always !!

I truly feel so blessed that destiny has helped our lives cross each others' and my life is enriched because
Anita is my friend. 

Love you Always!!

She & Me

Telepathy

If you search for the definition of Telepathy this is what you find - that it is the ability to send and receive thoughts from one mind to another and is a natural ability of the human mind. Okay lets park it here and let me go on to share how I am connected to certain people through this amazing ability called Telepathy.

Today was a hectic day – a full day session with around 27 participants can be a wee bit tiring, if I may say so.

And what am I doing in the middle of night, after the tiring day, typing on my keyboard like crazy – hmmm.. I need to start a separate blog ( not just a blog post) to discuss that. For the time being lets say that I am trying to distract myself from something that I am not able to pull myself away from.

The topic of my blogpost is about Telepathy and today while I was travelling back from office, out of the blue I was feeling extremely sad – to an extent where I had gooseflesh and I was reminiscing certain memories and how I am missing a very close friend. Its been a long time since I heard this voice and inspite of the nice session that I had and the laughter & fun that I shared with the participants of my session I suddenly felt so alone and my eyes were welling up. I am worst when I turn emotional and I didn’t want ending up sobbing in the office bus giving ideas to people who were travelling with me and so I decided to call back all those people whose calls I had missed while I was in the session. I finished all the calls and by then I had reached home and was feeling too lazy to do anything at home.

An empty house is not what I wanted to see at the end of this day, but I had very little options. I called Joe, and as usual his number was engaged and when I called the second time, he swapped his call and took my call in and I knew he is in the middle of a call and had to quickly wind up. So I sat there staring at the ceiling, not having the motivation to do anything. I was having my fruit dinner – started with a mango and the mangoes were really good, so I had yet another mango. With my dinner over,back to square one. What do I do now ?

That’s when the call came, and well, the friend who I was thinking of so much today called me and we had a nice lovely chat. Isnt this Telepathy?

I must have chattered away and bored this person to death, but you see this person is a very good friend and hence patiently heard me.

So is this what I wanted to blog about in the middle of the night?

I am feeling sleepy and I am going to bed now after a glass of warm milk while you can keep guessing why I am still smiling. A delicious thought perhaps ?