Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Some trivial stuff

Eat, Pray, Love- the beautiful book by Elizabeth Gilbert has been going with me for a long time now, wherever I went. My son, commented the other day, how long have been reading this book ma? I took an atrocious 3 months or more to complete this book. I enjoyed this book and loved the way Liz could just put down all about her without inhibitions for the whole world to see. This book is an extensive, i guess unadulterated account of her very extraordinary journey for more than a year to three different places.

Some day I wish I could do something like her - travelling for my own sake. :-) I still dont know if I would even enjoy that, but I know if I have to travel it would be across Europe, a back packing trip.

What struck me most was this Italian term Attraversiamo which means Lets Cross over.

I have been lately struggling with a specific relationship with a long time friend. I know we were drifting apart for some time now, but the question is am I giving in too much to keep that friendship just alive. I am not even able to make out if it is an one sided effort. I find myself at an impasse with this friend.

There seems to be a hundred reasons for me to give up on this person, but am I, the only person looking for that one reason to keep this friendship going? To what level should I give in? I keep telling myself, that I do not expect anything out of this friendship, which to a large extent is true. But when you do not expect anything from a friendship, you dont expect to be hurt either, dont you?

I dont deny the fact that there are some wonderful memories that I cannot afford to forget or be thankful for. and the best part is this person has no clue on how I feel, and that is solely because I dont let this person know - my point is may be I am not comfortable with letting this person know how I feel.

Doesn’t that mean, its not a strong friendship? Doesn’t that mean this relationship is falling apart?

I can fight my gut out with my 'true' friends, and go back with a sheepish grin anytime. or I can just decide not to speak and tell my true friends that, and I can undoubtedly believe, that when I make that one call, after months, my true friend will pick that call, even if its midnight and say ' so your time has come baby?' and go on like there was not a break. My true friends figure out there is something wrong with me when I utter the first word.

True friends are a blessing. I try hard to be that true friend to most of the people I believe are my friends.

I wish I could do the Attraversiamo. To just move on, to get to another place, leave behind some good memories of a happy friendship.

Attraversiamo, my friend - Let us cross over. I dont want to get hurt anymore, or dwell on negativity, just trying to keep an one sided friendship alive.

P.S:

I keep most of my confusions / doubts / fears and transitions to myself. Some of them surface in my conversations. Very few come up in my blog.
I would get over this too. :-)  It may take a while longer to get over Liz though!



4 comments:

  1. Hey , This is one of my all time favourite book and believe me I had exactly the same thoughts that you are having now. I wanted to travel on my own, it may be towards the fag end of life, so be it, but yes, I have tO. I also took quite a while to get over Liz and my favourite part was the romance part ;) apart from the spiritual quest

    About friendships I have gone through this and totally understand your state of mind, do it Vincy, Attraversiamo, it will hurt , it will also give a lot of peace. But later may be after a long time it might make our eyes moist, the happy memories I mean, I have experienced it .

    Take care friend and hugs to you (())

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    1. Hey Rekha, who knows we may end up travelling together, as you said in our old ages. :-)

      And yes, I so desperately wanted Liz to be loved, and the Bali part was quite racy.

      and those hugs from you, returned back with all the love. thank you.

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  2. Never read the book - maybe now I'll be tempted to pick it up.

    Only you can decide the merits of Attraversiamo, but your friends - both on line and offline will give you a hug no matter what. So take a hug - a big bear hug.

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    1. :-)

      Letting go is always difficult, especially when the person is still close to your heart, no matter what.

      And yeah bear-hugs are huge comforters. :-) thank you.


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