I personally do not believe in special days such as these, but nevertheless, since there is so much hype and ado about these “so-called-Special” days, I was giving it a thought and what this day signifies to me.
Well, for a person who remembers the dates so well, ( I remember my close ones birthdays / anniversaries and special dates ) even without a diary or a planner, or the social media sites, that makes these days so impersonal. I get hundreds of wishes on FB for my birthday, but the calls that some of my loved ones make at probably atrocious time of the day from whichever part of the world they are in, makes my days special. Some do email / text me, and there are also those who do not even call me, but that does change the way I love them. So, to me, its not these special days coined and marketed so much by the western world that matters the most, but the actual days and incidents that one remembers so well that makes all the difference.
For example, I met Joe on September 8th, at a common friend’s wedding, and this was an arranged meeting. We didn’t even talk to each other. I never miss that date to wish Joe Happy Anniversary, Anniversary of our first meeting. Can you believe, I still have the saree that I was forced to wear for that wedding? I have never worn it after that day, even once in the last 20 + years. I am a sentimental fool that way. So If someone asks me how long have you known a close friend, I would have the exact years that I have known that person – Oh I don’t remember the dates of every Tom, Dick and Harry, whom I meet, I only remember these of the special ones.
That does not mean that I totally ignore these “advertised& marketed-special” days. I do wish people on these days and there are loved ones who wish me too. The first one today was from, no not hubby dear, from Anita, my friend, at an ungodly hour of 3.30 am IST, she must have just then woken up in Singapore.
The whole point is love need not be expressed just on one specified day, but on all occasions and in multiple ways, not just by saying “ I love you”.
I was pondering over this point and thought, while I await Ramesh’s updates every single day, or when I hope that all is well with him, during his long haul drive that he has undertaken, that I guess is love for a blog-friend. or while worrying over Nancy who has not updated her blog for the last 9 months or so, I guess that’s also love. Wanting to talk to Rekha so much, while I keep piling excuses of all kinds, is another form of love. Dennu saying to me, have fun ma, I guess is love. Joe kept calling me so many times, to check if was overdoing my weekly cleaning, today, I guess that is love. A friend was talking to me some time back about some unfortunate events in her life, and half way through we both were crying and I guess that’s love too. And to another friend I had to speak my mind and say the decision that she has taken to walk away from marriage, is not right ( and I seem to be the only friend against it) - I did it out of love for that friend.
Love also need not be an action or a word. I realize the concern in someone’s voice is love. a smile / laughter / a wink / a look / a mime / a hug or a loved one simply being there for you, all these are statements of love. someone checking on you asking how your day has been, is love. Letting go can be love too. Sometimes letting go is the best way to show love. I did that today, and it hurts, like hell. And I know for sure I did that out of unconditional love. So many ways in which we can love.
Here is a wish to you all, may we all have enough opportunities to show our love to our dear ones and let us do it as much as we can all through the year, all through our lives. And BTW, Happy Valentines day!!
And beātitūdō friends. It simply means Happiness in Latin. ( for those who know Bible, I am preparing for my Catechism classes tomorrow, and the topic of my session happens to be “The Beatidues” )