Why a girls getaway is important?

We, the babes, ( look at the audacity of calling ourselves that) just got back from our trip this monday and we had a really awesome trip.  

Keep guessing the location, that we went to, which I plan to reveal shortly.  ( just to keep you all, my readers wondering!!)

But before I put together the experiences of the wandering souls, I wanted to tell you all why it is important for the girls to getaway in the first place.

1. Bonding – Not that we girls need to get away someplace to do this,  but when you live together for few days, there is an intimacy that we get to experience which beats every other short get together's.   We get to know the sleep cycles, fitness schedules – didn’t help coz we never even gave fitness a thought during the holidays, eating habits, bargaining skills, technical capabilities with gadgets, posing skills, organizing abilities and why, we even know each other’s weird potty behaviors and menstrual cycles.  Over all these, we really bonded over small talk, deep conversations and mindless prattles.
2. Laugh for no reason –  Each of us have varying range of laughter – the loud gurgling laughter that is mine, Sudha’s Guffaw, Rosy’s belly laughter and the modest of all, Jay’s chuckle.  We can see something together and laugh heartily in our own special ways, and you see laughter is the best medicine.
3. Get away from real life for a short while – All the 4 of us play different roles in our personal and professional lives like every other woman around the world and its our second nature to multitask and play these roles to a T.  There are also times these roles overwhelm us and we may not even show it out to the others including family.  The Girls trip is a perfect getaway to forget all our roles briefly and just hang out with the soul sisters just to rejuvenate each other in order to get back to reality and live it all up to the expectations of the loved ones.
4. Do mindless stuff -  Yes Yes Yes.  This is the perfect opportunity for us mothers not to worry about being role models to our little ones and big ones, and do stuff which suits our whims.  Like for example, taking pictures, plonking on the middle of the road.  Having a conversation over a bottle of homemade brew of wine, or just laugh our heart out listening to stories.
5. Understand how much we mean to each other -  yeah we know, we mean a lot to each other.   But there are moments in a trip, which will make this evident and the love shines through.   Like for example, when we met Rosy at the airport we were jumping in a huddle, screaming our heads off, our guide was kind of taken aback.  Nyugen our guide had a few intimate questions to us after she saw us do that.  There are also incidents which showcased our love for each other and I will let the girls do separate blogs on this.
6. The girls are worth it – for all the hard work we put round the clock all around the year at our workplaces and at our homes, we deserve this break and we need to do this at least every year, if not more frequently. The memories we create are a little gift to ourselves and fuels us to go through life unabated, and keeps us looking forward to the next one to come.
7. Feel empowered – When you prove to yourself that you are capable of some new learning and new ways of working things out, empowerment is on its way.  Travelling with a bunch of girls and doing it in a poised way, gaining knowledge about other cultures, going around this universe makes you realize, how small and insignificant one is.  And that is empowerment in itself.   While the girls getaways are common, we still have people around us who cannot do it for various reasons, and there also ones who can do it and the simple verdict is travel, and especially travelling with girl gangs makes you feel empowered.  Just the sheer act of surviving a new place, new culture around unknown country men gives that empowerment.
8. Enjoy the nature  - Ah, how I can I ever explain this.   Nature is intrinsically  adorable and there is mother nature who will surprise you venerably with her astoundingly vibrant beauty.   The more you enjoy nature the more you want to be one with her.   Atleast this time, the girls were mesmerized by the voluptuous natural beauty of the location we chose, offered us and we are still in a daze.  Good enough reason to get away with girls.
9. Talk about absolutely anything and anyone – Uninhibitedly  chatter away about work place friends, our children, our other friends, our spouses, our dreams, our fears and this list is endless. 
10. Root for each other – The best of the things that happens in a girls trip is how we highlight the positives of each person, from our physical appearance to our talents, our interests in life, accomplishments, our cooking, organizing, tactical abilities in every conversations that we have.   It could simply be how well someone can pose for a stunning photograph at the right angle to highlight the right curvatures or probably the ability to manage all the photographs in a cloud platform, without making a hefty payment for storage 😊

So, my question remains.

Which location do you think we chose this time. 

Post script :

For the first timers here, we, the group of 4 ladies, who call ourselves, babes, purely because we are narcissistic, went earlier to Banglok in the year 2017 and then to Bali in 2018. 

Some conversations between Dennu and me

Its not like I completely abandoned this place because there are some posts in their draft forms that indicate that blogging has been in the back of my mind.  Here is one post that has some unexpected quirkiness thrown to a very unsuspecting mom by her adult son.  My sonny boy is no more a teenager - he is an adult from last April.  :-) :-)

Mamma: After serving  him Tea in his room sometime back, asks “  Dennu where is the tea cup

Dennu:  I washed it and kept in the sink

Mamma:  almost fainting.. but sees Dennu coming to the kitchen with the cup.  Why did you say that?

Dennu:  Just to give that grateful feeling for a minute J 

Mamma while driving:  Do you like me in short hair or long hair

Dennu:  It doesn’t matter ma, you annoy me all the same.

Dennu: So, you bought chocolate bars for Nidhi.

Mamma: yes

Dennu: Where are mine?

Mamma:  You are not a baby

Dennu:  Then why don't you buy me a bottle of beer?

Mamma: stunned look

Dennu baby is driving the car.  Mamma at the edge of the seat.  

Dennu:  I need to put a special sign on the car when I am driving with you.

Mamma :  what sign?

Dennu:  Don’t Honk.  Mamma in the car.

Dennu speaking late night to a friend.  Multiple attempts to highlight the time. Finally call ends.

Mamma:  Don’t these children on the other end have parents checking on them?

Dennu:  Ma, these Cliched “mom” statements do not suit you.  I keep telling my friends I have a cool mom at home.

Mom wondering whether it is a compliment or something else.

Mamma all excited, shows the picture of her niece Nidhi and herself, hugging each other during their recent trip. Nidhi is his little cousin and his favorite too.

Expecting a sooooo cute.. from Dennu.  Dennu is quiet for a while then murmurs

Held against will?

The most recent one - last evening 

Mamma returning from office after a tired days' work.

Dennu:  Ma, I need to buy something.

Mamma: what baby?

Dennu: Beard oil.

Mamma: What?  (  I heard that for the first time, btw)

An ultimate Compliment

This weekend the only angel amongst the 3 musketeers of grandchildren of my family was celebrating her second birthday. 

Nidhi is my niece and the boys in the family, ( read my son and my twin nephews) adore her like all the elders in the family. She is the youngest, the most cuddled, hugged and pampered little one at present in the family and has the sweetest voice in this whole world.  So we there in Bangalore to celebrate her 2^nd  birthday.  

Amidst all the fun and frolic, there were so many pictures being taken in everyones mobile so J and I were posing for pictures and pulled our son Dennu in.  Since it was late evening and the light was not adequate, our cameras were not doing justice to our looks and we asked Dennu to pass on his mobile, as he has a better camera on his mobile than both of us. 

And there he went..

Please don’t take our picture together in my mobile pleaaaaasssssssssseeee….. he begged to the one to whom his mobile went.  

So this person asks him, Why Dennu?  

And he says, you know what, an idiot in my college looks at my mom’s picture and asked me if it was my sister and that blind guy is looking at all three of us and says is that your sisters’ husband?  I have a lot of dumb folks with me in college and I cannot stand  such stupid comments.  

J and I went awestruck and smiled at each other in utter disbelief:-)  

Isn’t that an ultimate compliment that slipped through Dennu?

Laughter – the best medicine.

I am sure we all agree laughter is the best medicine. But the time and place has to be definitely appropriate otherwise the one who is laughing will make a fool of oneself.

Have I told you before, that I rarely miss my Sunday Mass? There was a time when I used to attend daily mass, but for whatever reasons, laziness being the best of all reasons, I have not been able to continue the practice.

A little note to those who do not know about a Mass  is all about – A holy Mass is a religious practice as ancient as the catholic church itself, that I belong to, and is the central act of worship for us. It generally lasts for an hour or so, and includes bible readings, sermon and a communion service lead by a Priest or a deacon. According to the church a Sunday mass is an obligation that every Christian has to fulfill and being raised by staunch catholic parents, I have till date relentlessly followed this practice of not missing a Sunday mass. Of course, I have missed some Sunday masses when I was sick or lets say if I was travelling, but otherwise it is a strict no-no, not just out of practice, but because of the energy and strength I derive out of a mass. A Sunday mass, keeps me going through the week and if I do not attend one, there is this big feeling of guilt that consumes me for that entire week.

The mass is also the time, when I do not attend any calls. To me, it is the time I am with the creator and that time is dedicated only for my LORD. Most of the times, I leave the mobile in the car and never bother to even take it to the church.

Luckily for me, J also has similar backgrounds, and would never miss a Sunday mass, but going for daily mass is definitely not his cup of tea. Oh, and there is yet another thing, Both Dennu and Joe, hate sitting for a mass in the front rows – I am yet to find out the reason for this but they warn me not to sit in the front rows. Given a choice D would be a back bencher, but J would love to be in the centre and become one in the crowd. I prefer to be seated in the front ( not exactly the first row, but definitely in the first five rows). Joe tells D, If you allow your mother she will  be on the altar with the priest :-) which is truly an exaggeration.

The Mass also involves a fair amount of singing songs, primarily by the church choir, and the laity sing along during the service. I am familiar with mass in the latin and Syrian rites ( they are different forms of mass) and well versed in English, Malayalam and Tamil forms of mass. Oh I do actively sing along in the mass. Not that I am good at singing, infact, I am not even a great bathroom singer, but Church is always an exception. Its not to evaluate my singing, but I sing for my Lord and I don’t care who is next to me, because in a church it is just between me and the Lord.

J puts up with my singing, because I give him all these fundas and he is kind of sold on them. Dennu sometimes rolls his eyes and keeps laughing at me, but over the years I have learnt to  ignore his tactics. And he does not get any support in this matter from his dad dearest.

So, this Sunday as usual, I was belting it out in the church. Dennu was next to me, probably rolling his eyes, which I didn’t realize. Towards the end of the mass, during the final song, he came close to me, and whispered, looking at the crucifix on the altar – Ma, he is already bleeding, and if you sing anymore you will find him missing on the cross !!

Took me a few seconds to realize what he was saying and the context, but after that I could not sing ‘coz I was laughing uncontrollably, despite the stares from J :-)

Some trivial stuff

Eat, Pray, Love- the beautiful book by Elizabeth Gilbert has been going with me for a long time now, wherever I went. My son, commented the other day, how long have been reading this book ma? I took an atrocious 3 months or more to complete this book. I enjoyed this book and loved the way Liz could just put down all about her without inhibitions for the whole world to see. This book is an extensive, i guess unadulterated account of her very extraordinary journey for more than a year to three different places.

Some day I wish I could do something like her - travelling for my own sake. :-) I still dont know if I would even enjoy that, but I know if I have to travel it would be across Europe, a back packing trip.

What struck me most was this Italian term Attraversiamo which means Lets Cross over.

I have been lately struggling with a specific relationship with a long time friend. I know we were drifting apart for some time now, but the question is am I giving in too much to keep that friendship just alive. I am not even able to make out if it is an one sided effort. I find myself at an impasse with this friend.

There seems to be a hundred reasons for me to give up on this person, but am I, the only person looking for that one reason to keep this friendship going? To what level should I give in? I keep telling myself, that I do not expect anything out of this friendship, which to a large extent is true. But when you do not expect anything from a friendship, you dont expect to be hurt either, dont you?

I dont deny the fact that there are some wonderful memories that I cannot afford to forget or be thankful for. and the best part is this person has no clue on how I feel, and that is solely because I dont let this person know - my point is may be I am not comfortable with letting this person know how I feel.

Doesn’t that mean, its not a strong friendship? Doesn’t that mean this relationship is falling apart?

I can fight my gut out with my 'true' friends, and go back with a sheepish grin anytime. or I can just decide not to speak and tell my true friends that, and I can undoubtedly believe, that when I make that one call, after months, my true friend will pick that call, even if its midnight and say ' so your time has come baby?' and go on like there was not a break. My true friends figure out there is something wrong with me when I utter the first word.

True friends are a blessing. I try hard to be that true friend to most of the people I believe are my friends.

I wish I could do the Attraversiamo. To just move on, to get to another place, leave behind some good memories of a happy friendship.

Attraversiamo, my friend - Let us cross over. I dont want to get hurt anymore, or dwell on negativity, just trying to keep an one sided friendship alive.

P.S:

I keep most of my confusions / doubts / fears and transitions to myself. Some of them surface in my conversations. Very few come up in my blog.

I would get over this too. :-)  It may take a while longer to get over Liz though!

On a really Lighter note !!!

My title at the organization that I work says that I am a Leadership Performance Consultant and as part of my passion and occupation, I facilitate multiple streams of leadership programmes though I head an important initiatve within the unit, that I work.

Most of the days I am addressing different sets of people – sometimes seniors, middle management, some times junior folks in the organization and other times new joinees from the lateral stream. Whoever my audience are I feel a transformed person in front of a group and I usually give my best, though I completely realize, learning is the responsibility and it is the onus of the learner and not the facilitator and as a facilitator, I can only make the process of learning interesting, easy and the journey memorable.

And every session is unique and different and depends largely on the audience and their energy levels and interactions. I really love what I do, and I feel that is one of the reasons for all the appreciation that I receive and also the reason for my transformation in front of my audience.

So I went ahead full steam for the session today which was about branding our associates at the organization while they take up consulting assignments with the our esteemed customers and how to represent the organization by creating a powerful presence of the self. It’s a full day session and normally I take in around 20 nominations and today of all days there were around 27 participants and I went ahead with the session.

Right from the beginning I realized the session was going to be great, as there was a participant, who is a senior leader and a good friend with a great sense of humour and couple of others who are the type to make very intelligent interruptions. And the others were also quite interactive. So the session went on pretty well and I was quite happy about how the session was progressing and I was swelling in pride, while enjoying the whole experience of facilitating the session. The humour of some of the people enhanced the entire session and atleast to me there was no single boring moment.

The afternoon session had an hour of Dining etiquette through a group activity and the teams were working and making presentations on the activity, when it happened. I heard the joke and was wanted to walk out of the class to LOL ( he he), but I had to control myself and laugh very diplomatically. As part of the activity, I was giving some inputs about toasting and how it is generally done. I was explaining about how everyone would be given small wineglasses with enough wine to take just a couple of sips and the one who gives the toast raises the Wine glass and says a few words honoring a person, a relationship or about a special occasion.

I also on a serious note added that you do not drink the wine until the toast is made and out popped a question for one of my participants - “ Can I ask for side dish for the wine?” I was like “ what ?” “ Did I really hear you right?” and I saw some of the smart ones in the session were controlling their laughter and I literally wanted to ROTFL ( ha ha).. I had to tell him that the wine that I was referring to was not the Wine available in the local “ Wine shops” and by then the entire class was roaring with laughter. Sidedish for the wine during toasting – how funny can it get?

I took some time later explaining to this participant the significance of toasting and the occasions where toasts are given and how.

I still had a smile and I know this smile is going to be there on my face for some time to come.