Monday, February 14, 2011

It hurts.. like hell

It hurts to lose. Anything. However insignificant. I am sure everyone would agree on that.

I belong to a peculiar breed, and it used to hurt even if I lost a simple hand kerchief ( back then, at school, I used an handkerchief and not a tissue). Though the hurt itself was short-lived for a couple of days, those couple of days my handkerchief would be always there at the back of mind and I would be blaming myself silly over losing it. Maybe that’s the reason I moved over to tissues, you get so used to throwing it away.

I realized I haven’t changed basically internally, deep down. I realize, am that same little girl to whom it still hurts, when she loses. Friends, opportunities, games – even a silly online game, pens, rings, watches, diamonds, my gold anklet, chain – going by the list that I have lost they are not the insignificant kinds. For example, losing the only diamond I had, hurt so much, that I have vowed to myself that I will not buy diamonds again as a punishment to my own carelessness. The losses have been quite humungous and it has never gone away from my mind for years together.

The wildest part is, inspite of all this, I have never stopped losing. The latest is you. I have lost, haven’t I?

And this time, it hurts and today it hurts like hell. I wish it was a wee bit more easier !!!

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