Wicked Joy of having women friends !

A TON is always special.  This is my 100th post and just as the number suggests a special one.

Having been brought up in a metro, (Chennai is definitely a metro, folks) as a person I do have as many men friends as women friends. I was raised in a suburb in Chennai where there was no dearth for families of my own community and having lived with a large set of second cousins and distant relatives only helped foster these friendships. Today some of my best friends are men with whom there is a bond that dates back to childhood and those growing up juvenile years and memories of those days still bring nostalgia. While I studied in an all Girls school and later all Women’s college and the first two years of work (what a ridiculous fate?) were with women, I never felt funny or inhibited to strike a conversation with a boy (those days) or men because of my background and upbringing. Though today I might not be in constant touch with all those so called “men” friends ( in my mind, I realize with these close friends there’s no such distinction) we all can just pick up conversations from wherever, and move along.

A couple of months back, I was going for a funeral and wanted to know the exact location of the church, ( hubby dear gets worked up if he does not have the right directions, or worse still he will stress me out) and was wondering who would know and instantly this childhood friend flashed up in my mind and I knew he lived there. I didn’t even have to think twice, when I had to dial his number and imagine I had not spoken to him for more than 6 months and we could go ahead with a conversation as if we were talking to each other almost every day. Am making a mental note now to call him coz this reminds me I haven’t called him after that :-) The point is with close friends most of us are comfortable regardless of their gender – that’s why they are our best pals right?

Ever noticed I am writing something tangentially opposite to the blog topic that I start – its becoming a habit. Mental note two. Stick to your topic when you start one.

Okay folks this blog is about Women friends – the kind that I have befriended at my earlier workplace and today most of us work in good positions in different organisations. And that’s a pure “women only group” and does not deserve to be trivialized just because we are wicked to each other.

If I were to record our everyday lunch sessions those days that would be great fodder for interesting blog posts every single day and that would be like leading myself to the gallows straight - With all the information and fun going public in a virtual platform. One of the things that each one of us in the group miss these days in our current workplaces, is the lunch sessions laced with entertainment, torrents of laughter, liberal dose of movie dialogues, lots of sarcasm, pun and of course delicious home made lunch from many homes.

On days when there are no incidents that would bring in laughter from outside our group, or when we do not have enough “matter” to strip some of the folks with whom we used to work then, of their trousers, the group directs its energies on one its members and we do not even spare our spouses, children, relatives and even our extended support systems. I (in fact, almost everyone in the group) have been victim of this group-directed-humor many times and any attempts of mild disapproval to the comments will elicit more damage than before, leading to the group’s general sense of cheap gratification. We are so professional otherwise, the lunch room kind of transforms us, into these wicked avatars, squealing in laughter like school girls and unleashing our potential to tickle up our funny bones. I guess that was a great stress buster for all of us.

Another interesting part of our lunch then was the fact that we ate from any lunch box that anyone brings in and we do not stick to strictly our own boxes. It became such an habit that I ( and of course the others in the group) never feel complete when we do not dig our hands into someone else’s plate during a meal, be it at home, office or a five star restaurant. Not too late to pick some good habits(?) if you had not picked them when you were much younger, eh?

The funniest part was that a normal incident that anyone told will be subjected to an extremely wild outrageous imagination, surreptiously flavored with enough spice and will be narrated during the lunch time with so much deliberation, natural flow, and right amount of collateral damage that it sounds completely believable even for the person who narrated it in the first place and after a while everyone ( including the person who narrated it) remembers only the contrived version and not the original one.

One incident I remember dating back to 2005 was the one connecting me and my travel agent. Joe then was in Manila on an assignment and Dennu and I were to join him there for a month long holiday and I was working with this guy named “Salaam” I do not remember his full name or his travel agency’s name. There were a whole lot of issues in my travel because the Filipinos thought I am a potential settler there and were refusing my Visa and I had to interact with Salaam every day. Mind you I have not seen Salaam even once till date. Two of the women friends from the lunch group sit next to me and with the high decibel levels that I speak normally, there is no need for them to eavesdrop at all and after a month’s conversations with Salaam, this topic started surfacing in our lunch meetings – I got royally ragged along with Salaam, whom none of us have seen, and that poor chap was pulled into every conversation and the group came to a conclusion that even if I do not make it to Manila, I have become good enough to write a book titled “Njanum Ente Salaamum” (the title roughly translates to “Me and my Salaam” only that it sounds a little intimate in a regional language), which would easily be a best seller. I never ended up going to Manila, my Visa was rejected finally and we had to settle down for a shorter holiday at Singapore and Malaysia. The group still remembers this book ( see its as though I have written this book) and almost every incident around this after so many years.

There was one person in our group though, who was not very fluent in the regional language and she got lost many times during the conversations that we had, but nevertheless would pick up pieces and tag along with our conversations at right intervals. Sometimes she used to stop us and ask for translations and we realize her inability to follow supersonic speed delivery of regional language dialogues with various connotations from real life, imaginary and from movies and bring her to speed.

Take for incidence a simple conversation that I had with my maid – she was at my flat then. I was instructing her in Tamil to bring down all the curtains and show the tailor, who would come home, for some rework. But later I realized I missed some vital points for my listeners in the next bays. And I was saying “Sulaiman varuvaaru, neenga ellathayum kazhattittu avarukku kaatidunga” which roughly translates to “Sulaiman will come, you remove everything and show him” – I cannot forget how I got blown to shreds for this piece of dialogue thoughtlessly said over phone. The maid understood what I had to say but this group of so called friends indulged in Distortion, disrespect and downright torture. They can be ruthless ( most of the times). And we laughed about it until it actually hurt..

The best part was we had nick names for most people with whom we interacted at office ( other than the group members ourselves) and we were so deft with these names, that anyone else in the room might not even understand the references let alone our sarcasm. We still continue to refer some people with those titles even today, though we do not work with them now.

The dramatization, humor, right references and the accompanied sound effects makes any conversation hilarious. One of the WW ( wicked women) was explaining something she saw at someone’s home or I don’t remember where.. the conversation went like this “ She has big big..” and there was a undue pregnant pause at the wrong moment. The entire group then came forward, all eyes popping out, and in chorus said “ hmm….. big, big whaaaaat” and the person explaining the actual thread of conversation looks very blank at the entire group and says “Ammies” (grindstones). The Chorus then says.. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. We thought something else.. and there was this high pitched laughter…..whole conversation is dissected and references are made which we cannot forget even today.

One character which got crucified in our conversations those days was a person called CSN. He used to sit in the far end of our wing in the same floor as ours and in a cabin. In fact, he had the corner most cabin in our floor and we do not meet him at all. A very senior person both in age and in position.

Being a “women only group” we notify each other of any interesting “Sale ” that happens around town, at the most trivial opportunity we go out for lunches (our office was centrally located close to shopping malls and restaurants then), and we have even gone for a movie once.

A benevolent member of this group announced the sales at “Naidu hall” - NaiHaa as it is called now is famous for its lingerie collection. And there was a particular brand that a couple of them had picked up and was heavily recommended to the others in the group. I was the only one who could not make it to the sales and that day being the last day of the sales had to leave a little early to catch the sales. But as I was going out of my bay I realized I haven’t told my buddies that and I called out to them “ am going to pick Loveable Acoba”, knowing fully well that none sitting in the other bays will make out what it is. The next day’s lunch topic was how even CSN heard about the sale at Naidu hall (thanks to my decibel levels) and he picked up Loveable Acoba for his family. And our group had this special ability to build on imaginary conversations and make it sound so real… See, how people in no way connected to us, get pulled into our conversations and become an integral part of it?

Recently one of the WW happened to meet CSN in a train, and she couldn’t help laughing because the first thing that came to her mind was “Loveable Acoba”. CSN is a senior head within the organisation and he was very “ matter-of- fact” with this friend of ours and was a little suspicious about the overfriendliness of our friend and must be wondering the reason behind her extra dose of smile.

Today as I mentioned we are in different parts of the globe, in different organisations doing very well but can pick up wickedness where we left if only we can set our eyes on each other, with no less sarcasm and fun in all our conversations. We get to meet each other rarely these days, but if we meet it would be ruckus and fully loaded with fun. God save the souls around us then – we are completely oblivious to anything else.

I sent a picture of my session that I conducted recently announcing to my ex-lunch friends about it and look at the instant responses from three of them.. ( It is important to read it with all the background effects explained earlier)

Response 1: Objection your honor…. Naduvulae irukkara oru vella thols mattum unna paakkaamae vaera engayooo moraikkurraar… how dare…. I’m sure you would have taken some penalty from him… correettaaa… (translation of the regional language bit – the one white person in the centre is not looking at you and is staring elsewhere )

Response 2 : How many AICs ( L2 / L1 Heads ) “Bracketed” so far? Pl update the status :-) :-)

Also how dare to take this snap from long shot…..pl. publish another tight close up snap. :-)

Response 3 : Very impressive .... get them closer to you.. Warmer feel !!! :-)))

Needless to say, I had a mighty laugh and this post is a dedication to the wicked Joy of having women friends and the ethereal connect of our minds, pure fun and laughter that we evoke in each other :-) May our tribe increase !!

Footprints of my Soul

If You can hear my footsteps
Long after I cease to walk..
And know I came visiting
Without having to talk…….

If I can feel the smile in your eye
Long after you cease to see
And know you're looking for me..
And sense the fragrance that I know to be you..
Then I know you love as much as I do..

Then is there a need this tale to tell to the whole?
I know you'd follow the Footprints Of My Soul!

P.S:  
I did not write this poem.  It is pulled out of my archives and am unable to give credits to the author as I do not know the author of this poem.

A slice of Insanity

Silence is painful
can be deafening too
at times

But it is the indifference

that does me in

and makes it unbearable

Thoughts run amok

and makes me wonder

if you would feel the same

I wish the mindbridges remained

the way it was

atleast then I wouldn't be lost

It is at times like these

I rerun the events and conversations

and smile like an idiot

purely a slice of my insanity !

Coincidences – Are they lucky Accidents?

What is your take on coincidences? Are they Chance, Luck or Acts of ‘God”? ( now I am involving the big man in.. :-)

One thing is certain about coincidences. The phenomenon fascinates believers and skeptics alike. It's a porthole into one of the most interesting philosophical questions we can ask: Are the events of our lives ultimately objective or subjective? Is there a deeper meaning, an overarching purpose to the universe? Or are we the lucky accidents of evolution, living our precious but brief lives in a fundamentally random world that has only the meaning we choose to give it? Are they easily explained, or so improbable they must signify something?

Whether coincidences are meaningful or not is a mystery. But our talent for noticing and manipulating them is increasingly clear :-). To the mystically inclined, however, coincidence is a synchronicity, the purposeful occurrence of two seemingly unrelated events. Can we simply state that “ It just happened and doesn’t mean a thing” and move on? At tleast in my case I cannot.

To me Coincidences are mysterious, important and I revel in the connections the coincidences tend to bring forth. I do take note of them and I am such a silly sentimental fanatic. Yikes.. but that’s what I am and I am being truthful about it.

Like the friend who is connected to me by the coincidence that I am going to tell you says ( Okay, this friend didn’t tell me all these, I have added some flavor to the views) that coincidences are created by us consciously or subconsciously (mostly) because we want it so bad that we somehow make the coincidences happen and most of the time we don't even know it. The Universe only facilitates these coincidences to happen in our favour. The reason is because the Universe is kind and generous and the universe literally conspires getting everything together to make these coincidences happen. Maybe true !

I have mentioned this in my blog before, that I  have taken up a new position at a new organisation where I have specifically requested for “No Travel” – I have done so much travel in my earlier job and had resisted travel for my own personal reasons. I had no clue that I would be travelling as part of my current work. But there I was travelling to Delhi, out of the blue, to facilitate a program.

I flew into Delhi pretty late, ( thanks to a delayed flight) and I was not keeping very well that night. Infact my headache ( which is recurring these days very too often) was so bad that I puked a couple of times in a meticulously clean hotel room ( of course in the bowl) and didn’t even have the energy to change into my night clothes, let alone notice what a nice room the new organisation had booked me into. My session  went on well  the next day and I realised that I truly enjoyed facilitation of sessions and was grateful for the opportunity.

It must have been the headache and the effect of puking ( yikes, how I hate it!!), I had the continuous feeling of being in flight… floating senselessly even while sitting in the cab travelling towards Delhi Airport on a hot evening. Temperatures there are at 42 degree Celsius around this time. My headache had not completely deserted me – It gave me the panic attacks of returning anytime. I actually had a headache.

I reached the airport and there even before getting into the airport my friend surprised me appearing from nowhere. Again because Delhi is not very familiar to me (unlike a Chennai, Bangalore and Hyd) I had some time at hand and there we were in an uncommon plan, flying to different destinations from the capital but coincidentally together at the airport. Unbeleivable coincindence or a lucky accident?

It was a good time spent – I was amused by the jokes, the funny stuff, the pranks and it was fun to be with someone who you so rarely meet ( or is it unerring and infallible aim for my funny bone?)  and all through this I was floating around lighter, as if I had a peg of alcohol, that light hearted feeling – definitely the effect of my threatening headache and the after effect of my puking last night, which my friend would never agree to :-). 

I  was in this complete senseless stupor, the effect was almost like stuff hitting me at supersonic speeds and I dont sense it all, and before I react to something, ( my response to stimuli was so slow, almost nil), there is something else coming up and you get the general drift?  ( luckily since i was sane and not under the effect of alcohol, I remember everything and I am making a mental note to get back on all those later, to my friend).

All along I was continuously ( at the back of my mind  - imagine already I am in this senseless stupor and no wonder my responses were slow, I was trying to multitask too) wondering what this sort of chance meeting is trying to bring out.  the reason behind the coincidence? Perhaps there is some sort of message for me?. There must be a reason. Or as my friend said is it simply a fact that when u want something all the universe conspires to help you?

I am deeply religious and I remember when I started from Chennai, I saw a message on the rear side of a car just in front of my cab, which read like this, ‘the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore “ Psalms 121:8 and I remember feeling comforted just when I had started the journey to Noida.

And this coincidence was as though God just winked at me while he sent that friend to Delhi Airport.

Thank you Lord for all the small mercies in life. Life, definitely is better with them :-) :-)

My husband and his toys !!!

My better half constantly tries to reinvent himself and carries on with his single most tryst of impressing me constantly with new stuff every now and then or so I would like to believe. Just because he does not read my blog, unless forced upon him, I am aware I cannot write whatever I would like him to do, cleverly masqueraded as stuff that he does for my sake.

Jokes apart, he is definitely a creative person and does come up with stuff that continues to impress me, even if that ( impressing me) is not his intention. Sometimes I feel I am so easy to please .. whatever.

One of the days, this was a couple of years back, my man came up with me to the terrace of our house, claiming to help me, but engaged himself in making a toy that really amused me. I still have this toy with me, fragile now, after drying and the wear & tear of the years gone by and the shifting of our home we did in-between. I will post a couple of shots of this toy that he made in a few minutes from the sheaves of coconut palm that is at a reachable distance from our terrace, though the coconut palm itself belongs to our neighbor.

So, here goes the process of creation of this Cuboid.

Every year on Palm Sunday, most congregations of Christians celebrate Palm Sunday just the Sunday before Easter Sunday. The feast commemorates Jesus' triumphant entry into Jerusalem and Palm Sunday is marked by the distribution of palm leaves to the assembled worshipers at Church. In Syro-Malabar Catholic Church, that we belong to, palm leaves are blessed during Palm Sunday ceremony and a Procession takes place holding the palms.

The palms are brought home and kept till the next year and returned to the church prior to Ash Wednesday. This year after we came back home, my hubby dear overcome by creativity showed his prowess on the poor palms and the result was yet another interesting piece of art and here goes the process of transformation of these palm Sunday blessed palms. ( not to mention, I have preserved them too..)

Mysterious

A poem that I wrote on 14th February 2003. Pulled out from my archives.


Who are you? where are you from?
Are you alive? are you real? Are you an angel ?
or just a figment of my imagination?
Or are you the most beautiful
dream that I have had in years?
Someone I fabricated to fill the void?
To soothe the pain?

You seem to have come out of the blue
leaving me shell shocked
taking me in your stride with ease
swirling me around like a whirlwind
showing me the world in a new light

You brought joy in my life
You made the world look so beautiful
You made my life worth living
and brought a smile to my soul
You made me feel young again
and helped me see the beauty within
to my own surprise.

You made me laugh when my heart was crying
You helped me set new goals when I was dying
You took me dancing when I couldn't take a step
You will never know how you made me feel
or how grateful I am for you in my life!!!

An author – deep down in my friend!

After reading Arundhati’s Roys work, God of small things, am still dazzled that she picked her Bookers prize for her debut novel and that’s the only novel that she has ever written (till date), though she has other kinds of literary works to her credit.

I was reminded about a close friend who has such brilliant linguistic capabalities that if only he starts writing, he would easily be one of the best in the country / globe. Added to his linguistic capabilities are his creative abilities, a good sense of humour, spontaneity and intelligence. Its sheer ignominy that he hasn’t started to write.

I thought of sharing a philosophical piece of his writing that he wrote to me in 2003 as an email, (with absolutely no modifications, not even spelling corrections ) that I still hold as one of my prized possessions.

….There are pleasant breezes now and occasional rains and I love to walk around now here. This is time of year when all the cobwebs get cleared out of our mind - the old brain seems to work better, evrything seems to be in a kind of harmony. I have a partly superstitious belief that things begin to move and stir at times like this and are building towards something. Its like when you follow a stream (I don't know if you've ever done it) trying to see how far it goes (either upstream or downstream) Tiny signs indicate to you when you are close to the source - the water begins to get clearer, the sound is more like a tinkle rather than a splashing, you can see different types of fish and suddenly you are there.

So too I notice tiny signs right now - it all seems to point towards the fact that I am approaching something important - any moment the veil will be drawn back and I will see the road ahead clearly, far more clearly than ever before.

Or like going out to sea in a boat, you leave the shore and waves further and further behind and reach a calm patch, where you can see almost to the bottom, but it happened so gradually you didn't notice ...... and then again, it can just as suddenly look rough, there are huge swells, and you look down and realize you are over a huge rock barrier.

At such times it seems like you are almost in a trance, walking around in the world in a dream, and all the people you meet are just floating by on other boats, and as you pass each other you notice that they are looking at you and you look at them too, in the same way that boats pass each other at sea, and just for a fleeting moment you wonder what kind of journey they are having.

These are things that I think we experience most keenly as children, and it is almost like a magnetic field around you and around everything else - everything emits an energy you can almost feel and touch. It fades away as we grow older and have too many words for everything. But suddenly on certain days or times of year it comes back and magic happens.

I don’t get such emails these days from anyone, let alone this friend, but now that I have blogged I know I can get back anytime to this.

And to imagine if someone can whisk up something like this for an unthoughtful casual email, how well will he do as an author ?

My friend is the author waiting to be one. Don’t you think so?

Weather Report

"Any day I'm vertical

is a good day"

...that's what I always say.

If you ask me,

"How are you?"

I'll answer, "GREAT!"

because in saying so,

I make it so.

When Life gives me dark clouds and rain,

I appreciate the moisture

that brings a soft curl to my hair.

When Life gives me sunshine,

I gratefully turn my face up

to feel its warmth on my cheeks.

When Life brings fog,

I hug my sweater around me

and give thanks for the cool shroud of mystery

that makes the familiar seem different and intriguing.

When Life brings snow,

I dash outside to catch the first flakes on my tongue,

relishing the icy miracle that is a snowflake.

Life's events and experiences

are like the weather -

they come and go,

no matter what my preference.

So, what the heck?!

I might as well decide to enjoy them.

For indeed,

there IS a time for every purpose

under Heaven.

And each season brings its own unique blessings.

~BJ Gallagher

Obsession

My current obsession is Arundhati Roy’s God of small things which won her the Booker Prize in the year 1997 and this was her debut novel.

I call this an obsession because after I started reading this book, Ayemenen, Rahel, Esthappen, Ammu, Velutha, Baby Kochamma, Margaret Kochamma and Kochu Maria are characters I am living with in my memories constantly.

Right from the first paragraph of this book, I fell in love with the eloquence of Roy’s writing and because I belong to a Syrian sect of Christianity and my views about Kerala are not entirely different from that of what is portrayed by Roy, I felt the immediate connect with this semi-autobiographical work of Roy. It lingered on and I spent  three to four nights to complete this amazing work. The Novel tugs at your heartstrings – not sure if it is the sadness, cynicism, shades of Irony that so interestingly portrayed or the mystery shrouding all the characters in the novel that pulled me into this book. I could not just leave this book down. I knew I am missing the finer nuances of the literary play Roy employs with the language itself, but I am a Gemini you see and I need to know what is happening so I did a quick read and completed this book.

And I didn’t want to touch another book for some time. Have u eaten your favorite food? When you finish with it, you wouldn’t want to eat anything else that will spoil the after taste – you may want to linger on it for some more time, enjoying that taste until it finally gets out of your tastebuds. The same thing, I lingered on every character, on every event on the emotions that Rahel and Estha ( the protagonists ) went through and the scheming ways so typical of the Antagonist Margaret Kochamma.

Then decided on something that I have never done in my entire life – I started reading this book again this time savoring every nuance of the literary word play the author employs to conjure up magic with words, enjoying every minute observation that Roy so precisely brings forth through the point of view of a small child, the political, communal disharmonies that so evidently exists in the Gods own country and its absolutely scintillating.

I am enjoying the read – and it feels like I am reading a completely different novel this time and I just cant get enough of the first paragraph that Roy starts this Novel with.. I don’t know the number of times I have read this and got into a trance. That’s this book effect on me, I put the book down and the characters are playing in my mind – Chacko, Vellya Pappen, Kuttappen, Pappachi, Mammachi, Levin and pillai and all of Ayemenem. Pappachi’s moth, the Meenachil river, paradise Pickles and preserves, Sophie mol and the list is endless!

Roy has been able to paint the caste differences of that period and engages a reader throughout with her ploy.  and since this is emi autobiogrpahical you are left to wonder which are those incidents that really happened and which part of this novel is fiction. She throws the dark hints about the novel in the first chapter and unravels the events that leads to the theme of the novel finally in the last chapter where Velutha and Ammu think of only the small things the big things never lurked their conversations and their little promise “Naaley” (meaning tomorrow)

Here is the first para of this novel

“May in Ayemenem is a hot, brooding month. The days are long and humid. The river shrinks and black crows gorge on bright mangoes in still, dustgreen trees. Red bananas ripen. Jackfruits burst. Dissolute bluebottles hum vacuously in the fruity air. Then they stun themselves against clear windowpanes and die, fatly baffled in the sun.”

Isnt it brilliant? I am only wondering why I didn’t read this earlier!

I would like to add a Caveat here though - I do not subscribe to everything that is portrayed in the novel - especially the twist that Roy brings to the Twin's relationship.  It looks perverted.

16 years and a resolution!!!

Today my baby turned 16 years. All of 16 years, of age. I cannot believe 16 years have gone by from the time I held him first in my hands as a tiny little one, fair, with those shriveled reddish hands and feet. He is grown taller than me now but I still call him baby sometimes, much to his dislike especially if it happens to be in public and he tolerates the "baby" calling when we are alone.

The number 1 and number 6 candles on his cake reminded me yet again, I am a mother of a teenager, which I have grown to enjoy and its a pure joy being the mother of a teenager (when he is nice, that is) There are times when he has his bad moods and gives me terrible times, but that’s the deal right - Roses come with thorns.

It all looks so sudden - that he has grown up from the time he held on to me to the time now where he holds me or hugs me rarely and probably only when I demand it. He is infuriated when I accidentally step in to the dressing room when he is changing clothes and demands privacy in his room and ofcourse, he stands atleast a couple of inches taller than me.

I seem to ask myself now - when did he grow up? From that little naughty dynamite that he was when he was young (most elders in my family have at least a couple of horror stories about him being so agile and naughty), to a sober young boy... oops he prefers to be called a young man. In fact, this birthday, as usual, I wanted to pick up his favorite Jeans and T's and he said "I want a formal dress ma". Joe and I are still getting used to our little man in formals... the reason, he says, “for a wedding, I should be in a formal, now on"

There is a resolution my son has taken all of a sudden - is it all of a sudden, as a mom didn’t I see this coming from a very young age? My son has decided to be a vegetarian. Can you beat it? A Syro Malabar Christian, who is expected to eat anything that does not bite him back, ( In fact, my clan eats anything that moves, swims, runs, flies, crawls, slithers or hops) turning up to be a vegetarian !! My parents are shocked out of their wits. They just don’t understand this logic. If this decision of my son had a religious connotation or a sacrificial element probably, probably they might have been able to comprehend - but this, this just does not auger well with the our heritage or upbringing. Looking back I really dont have anyone in my family who has taken this decision. Not in J's family either. No vegetarians, of choice. must be a real shocker for my clan. My mom gave me a look that suggested, is this a way to bring up a boy?

I really loved the reason Dennu (that’s how I call my son mostly, the baby calling is rare) gave for turning into a vegetarian - He said he is not able to bear the cruelty to animals. And if he stops eating these creatures and if he can save even one creature, that will be good. Last Sunday when he announced his decision, I didn’t think he meant it. Though I didn’t say anything, in my mind I thought, if he lays his eyes on some non-veg food, his decision will change.

He proved me wrong - We had been out to a mall to pick some books (part of his birthday present) and went to the food court there. My health conscious husband took us to subway and Dennu had to choose. His choice is always between chicken salami or Tuna. This time he said a veg sub and I blurted out to him, so you are serious about being a vegetarian and he told me matter of factly “Yes Ma" and I told him, but you love tuna. His response to that just stumped ne - Yeah I love Tuna, but I love Mother Nature even more.

You know there are certain stuff that melts moms - like when I am doing some physical activity like cleaning at home, and Dennu would walk up to me and ask, Ma you want me to help you? and I melt like butter on a hot saucepan. He offers to bring my laptop bag to the car when I start for my job and I melt like Ice-cream on a tongue. This time I guess I vanished with a loud pop!

I had expected this from him - when he was barely 4, and we had moved into our new tiny apartment. He was particular about the bathrooms being clean. A wisp of my hair or some dirt on the floor, and he would not step in. On a hot afternoon, I guess it was a Saturday, he must have come back from playing, quite dirty and I decided to give him a bath. The bath almost getting over, I watched a small cockroach coming out of the drain, a really small one. I didn’t want him to step out of the bath looking at the cockroach and I thought he wasn’t noticing me; I swished that little roach with my feet and realized he saw it, just at the right moment.

And he started - Mamma, why did you kill that baby cockroach? Wont the Mamma cockroach be waiting for the baby cockroach? If I have to go out and not return how will you feel? Initially, remember the Mamma melting moments? - I did have one of those. But that was just the beginning... later, he persisted on this questioning minute after minute - I gave all kinds of explanations and he was not pacified. The ranting became crying and my melting became frustration and I remember cursing myself for killing that baby cockroach. He went on for almost about 3 hours about the baby cockroach and could be pacified only by Joe. Over a period of time, the mamma and baby cockroach has become a story we laugh about - Joe and I have not forgotten it.

Once when the AC at home in the same tiny flat, was taken out for a repair, the mechanic sent with the AC, a little rat (apparently as a bonus) without his or our knowledge. Luckily, I always had the habit of closing all the doors and the little rat was trapped inside the bedroom. Every evening when we returned from work, I saw the wood being gnawed and was wondering where this came from. It sure was the door, but we were wondering what caused the wood to come down into such nice scraps... we were astonished when this rat attacked our washing machine and started gnawing at the rubber parts of our IFB. Then we set a trap and we got the little fellow. Actually a cute rat. My husband, a very practical man suggested that we kill the rat; otherwise it might come back... Dennu heard this and he started begging, pleading and crying as if we told that we were going to kill him... and he made sure we went elsewhere and let that rat free in an open space.

My mom has told me a couple of times, that at my parents place when he used to spend his summer vacation, similar stuff has happened. Once my brother brought home a live fish (he was so happy he could get that variety of fish live) and he had allowed my son to play with it for some time. When lunch time came and my mom wanted to prepare the fish curry, he had refused to kill it. Remember I told you my clan eats anything that runs, flies, swims, slithers crawls or hops? So that particular day they had to sacrifice the fish curry. But the next day, they cleverly took him someplace when my mom completed the job neatly. The curry was served for lunch and my little one, probably all of 9 years old, sensing something fishy, demanded that he see the live fish, which my parents or my brother could not manage to bring to life, of course it was dead in a lovely Fish curry in trichur style, and Dennu refused to eat lunch that day and was angry with my mom for an entire week for killing his friendly fish.

So this was coming, becoming a vegetarian for the love of animals, and I guess probably a little late. In fact, he wanted only veg fried rice or noodles tonight for dinner and not any non-vegetarian food. If it is his decision, so be it. :-) I am a proud mom.

Its been a great journey the last 16 years with him, he made me a mother, and made me fulfill the deepest need in any woman - to mother a child and be part of god’s creation. No one called me a Mom, Mamma or Ma, until he did and in my case, no one else has. And to that, for making me a mother, and making me put my priorities in place, I am ever grateful.

His giggles have cast away many a worries from my life, his laughter has brought in sunshine and his pranks have made me smile, when the burdens of life, marriage and motherhood bogged me down and today for the memories of all those yesterdays, I am ever grateful.

I am so glad you are in my life and nothing else matters to me as long as I see that smile on your face and happiness in your soul. May God bless you and keep you in the palm of his hands. God bless!!

P.S:

Our families (mine and Joe's) have yet another shocker coming their way. My husband formally announced that he has also turned Vegetarian. My son and husband's decision are mutually exclusive and their reasons for being vegetarians differ. :-) I am still weighing my options. I can’t give up seafood sob... sob...

Twice as nice !!!

You were far away      

In my thoughts
I had flung you
Out of bounds from my universe

Not because of hatred

But because of fear

That if I remembered

I will love you more than myself

It wasn’t easy
I knew I was being

Unkind to myself

A torment unspeakable

There was a time

When the world was merrier

Just because

Of your presence

Everywhere I turned

Images of you conjured up
Gave the zing to my step

and a song to my soul.

But I decided to change

Lived in self denial

For reasons beyond my control

I moved on

But life had other plans

I had to meet you, fleetingly though

Memories came flooding back

This time twice as nice.

Vincy Joseph

P.S : This is my humble attempt at Poetry. I am a novice at this.  Any resemblance to incidents that connects u & me, imaginary or real, is purely intentional J

Trying to get it off my chest !

I read this somewhere recently, definitely in the virtual space and it instantly tugged at my heart strings.  It persistantly stayed on, appearing from nowhere into my thought streams every now and then quite annoyingly and just does not go away from the back of my mind.

Putting it down here as an effort to get it off my head and..hmmm.. my heart as well.

" Why am I worried about losing you when you are not even mine? "

Blessings come in many packages... you definitely are one of the best !!

For more than a couple of years I have been wanting to wirte a blog post about one of the most important people in my life. Wirting needs that urge to pour out and words then just flow out automatically when a blog topic comes to the mind (atleast in my case) There were many times when I wanted to write about this good friend and for reasons not even known to me I had put off writing this blog for a long time now.

Even before I introduce this friend to you all ( it is as though, I have a great fan  following for my blogspace, that I address my readers with so much flamboyance, pardon my silly fantasies :-), I am well aware I hardly have any, and the number of people visiting the blog post increases just because I keep visiting this space that often ..  LOL ), coming back to the point in discussion, my friend, I have a little note for her.

Did I tell you that I am so grateful that you are in my life?

I do not say it enough, but it is not because I do not feel it. It is hard putting in words, what you mean to me
There are so many things you do, that add up to a big part of my life
I love you and just wanted you to know

:-) :-) :-)

One of the most vibrant, chattering, ever-smiling, smart, intelligent, stylish, supportive, caring, kind and loving human being. Her memories are such a comfort and the very mention of her name brings in Peace to my mind.  If there is anything closer to unconditional love, it is the bond that we share with each other,  She always brought a smile to anyone who she came in touch with, even at the cost of hiding her own worries.

 

This blog is  about my good friend Anita.  I am smiling when I key in her name and thats the effect she has on me. I truly beleive that she is one the blessings from above.  We met professionally and it didnt take too long for us to hit it out together as freinds.  Since our relationship started professionally and we were at the same level at work, we did have differences at work and we fought tooth and nail about  certain work related issues  occasionally until one of us were convinced.  But as I mentioned that was not frequent and we knew we were a team and we stood together.  So, it was not surprising, when others in our team dealt with us they knew we were more friends than colleagues.

 

The more sweeter memories that I have about Anita is all the wild shopping we have done at Bangalore ( commerical street), Hyderabad ( general Bazaar) and in Pune ( Lakshmi market?). Our work had taken us to multiple places and we travelled a lot both in trains and flights.  We were so comfortable in each others' company and amidst so many colleagues, I could distinctly see her as my friend among a pack of colleagues.

I still remember the NLP programme that we went together and it was on my birthday and she made me feel so special.  While I have scores of memories about her, a funny one that often comes to my mind was when we both travelled together to Hyderabad ( I guess it is to hyd) and there was so much turbulence that particular day in the flight and both held our hands so tightly and we almsot thought that was our last flight.  And in between we were also gigling so hard.  Amidst all those giggles, Anita was telling me ( and  that was also the time we had moved into our independant new house) Vincy, you know what, the insurance for fliers who die in an aircraft crash, is so high .. just imagine  Joe ( my husband) can clear all the housing loan and they ( my bubby and son) will have a new house, a new mommy,, just imagine that Vincy.. and in between all that turbulence, we were actually pissing in our pants and we were laughing.. oh what fun...

At work Anita was one of the most capable people I have seen, most networked, tech savvy and gets work done in a Jiffy.  Be it our discussions about our childrens eduation or bitching about a lot of people who worked with us ( oh we did a great deal of that) or working together or an assigment, we thoroughly enjoyed it. It is almost as if she is part of my family.

It was pure Joy travelling with her, we kept joking, laughing and basically enjoyed life with each other. I knew I loved her so much when she decided to move to China for professional reasons and when her mom who was as desperate as me, called me to ask if she has reached China and I just broke down and we were crying over the phone. and I knew I will miss this woman like hell.. and sure I did.

After she left to China, it was as though a part of me went missing and I felt so alone and there was sense of loneliness.  Our chat lines and phone helped us survive. Today we both have left our earlier organisations, we are in different places of the globe, she in Singapore and me in Chennai separated by miles but closer at heart. 

We interact with each other regularly, ( thank technology for that ) and last week I had a mail from her which was crisp and just one question.  Do you remember this comb?

This was a Roots comb that I had given Anita some years back.

And she also followed it up with another mail.
I use it in office … :-) Its on my desk always !!

I truly feel so blessed that destiny has helped our lives cross each others' and my life is enriched because
Anita is my friend. 

Love you Always!!

She & Me

Helpless listening

What do you do when a friend who is going through a personal emotional struggle calls you and tells some of the greif that the person is going through?  I just listened.  completely  ..with all my attention. 

As I listened to this conversation, a myriad set of emotions were going through me..  helplessness, sadness, empathy, you know what, I so wanted to be just there for this friend to be of some form of consolation.. but I guess I did nothing.. I just listened.

And then I realised what a wonderful friend I have in this person.  I was so proud to have this person as a good friend.  Being an independant consultant for large MNC's across the nation, the assignments of my friend depended a lot on his customers and their dates.  Inpsite of this, the willingness to spend the precious, valuable time with an ailing father leaving behind his own family in another state and completely supporting the parents truly touched me. I did manage to mumble to my freind that the parents are real lucky ones, even though I know they all are in immense pain right now.

The last two weeks has especially been bad for my freinds father with his abdominal cancer consuming him almost completely making him unable to eat or drink. Thats when my friend decided to spend time with them ( parents) who live here in Chennai.  Some of the details of the pain and grief the parents ar going through really brought tears to my eyes, but all I did was just listen.

Death seems so close and it looks like they are expecting this unwanted treachourous visitor anytime.. really anytime.  How does it feel for the person going through this?  Its truly difficult to comprehend the sombre period the family is passing through too.

Ostentiably the family, I am sure is going through terrible trauma with the father down with this terminal illness and all odds heavily stacked against his survival.  My mind was going out to my friends mother, who must be bearing the brunt of it all.  I had this sinking feeling that I am unable to support my friend in any way other than just listen.  Insignificant, I know

I wanted to say a hundred things to console my friend, but I guess all that was needed was some ardent prayers and all I did was listen with moist eyes.

May God bless my friend for being such a wonderful soul, and I am begging God to give this family strength to go through this testing time.

and I will be around to listen. and to pray.  for my friend and the family.

A friend sent this to me in response to a prayer request and found it quite meaningful  "Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death"

P.S: anyone reading this post, I request a silent prayer for my friends family and especially the father for a easy passover to our Lord's abode.

P.S added on 27th of March :  My friends father passed away this morning.  Thank you for all your prayers.  Eternal peace grant unto him O Lord, may his soul Rest In Peace.

Sometimes it lasts in love, Sometimes it hurts instead !!!

A lovely song by Adele...  I should thank mother of two blogger, author and a lot more rolled into one  Preety Shenoy, I heard this song through her tumblr post.

My First Meme... Yaa...aay

I stumbled upon a blog by name Sunday Stealing  through Preeti's blog  Justamotheroftwo and I thought to myself what the heck.. I have never tried a meme and why not this one.. and here i go with my answers... Its actually a three part Meme, of which I am doing only this part hence the numbers start from 51 instead of 1.

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

I do earnestly make an effort to fogive and forget. it is quite difficult and takes a long time for me to forgive those who have done me wrong

52) What is your astrological sign?

I am the Twin, multi personality Gemini, with an impulse towards change and versatality

53) Do you save money for anything? What?

Yes, I do. for a lot of stuff.  One important saving is for an Europe trip - to go through all those spots mentioned in the book "Da Vinci Code" - I am a great fan of Da Vinci Code and Dan Brown and Europe has always been a fascination

54) What's the last thing you purchased?

Gifts for my husband on his birthday and a cake for him.

55) Have you ever had a relationship that you realized was lust not love?

not really - I always had the awareness that basis of most relationships were lust and so I kept myself kind of closed for all kinds of relationships.  The flip side was I never gave myself an opportunity to find love atleast before marriage :-(

56) In a relationship?

Progressive...

57) How many relationships have you had?

am a very uninteresitng person that way - remember I told you, I kind of kept myself blocked?  but I guess there was one..  :-)

58) What do you want to tell us about your day?

Today being a saturday, I decided to relax, so no hard work lots of browsing and leisure activity.  I am planning to read - complete my book on Dynamic relationships by Jacqueiline and Cheri B Tores

59) Where were you yesterday?

At office, doing a lot of work.

60) Is there anything interesting within 10 feet of you?

A bean bag that is quite inviting expsecially on a day when I have decided to relax - lots of tissues ( if you can call that interesting ( I have a bad cold), my mobile and a chess board ( made of glass) and my Laptop that am working on.

61) Are you wearing socks right now?

The heat at Chennai is close to 40 degree celsius already.. Imagine wearing a socks now..  I am must be insane to do that.

62) What's your favorite animal?

A Dog of course.  I dont own a dog now.. but my childhood memories are filled with dogs as our good freinds and companions.  Julie ( an Alsation) and Rocky (a cross between a lab and a bull dog) are my favourite Pets.

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Love, care and add some senti stuff and there you go

64) Where is your best friend?

Right in  my heart.  One is in Singapore and one here in my city.  Fortunately, I cannot choose between the two...

65) How did you end your last relationship end?

I wouldnt call that a relationship - actually a friendship.  I told that person I am not intersted to continue the friendship in a very matter of fact manner.

66) What is your heritage?

The values passed on to me by my parents and my People. 

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Fast asleep and a peaceful one at that.  Last night just before sleeping we were talking about singing during family prayers.  Infact my son just remarked yesterday to me on a very serious note - " I wonder how Jesus listens to your singing..  one day hes going to walk out of our house"  Joe and I laughed about this joke and I told Joe, when I sing in a church or during a family prayer, I dont really care who is around me it is only between me and my LORD. My mom-in-law who is a great classical singer, who can sing pretty well inpite of breathing issues, sings with us and never has laughed or commented at my singing. In fact, I feel a little concious to sing with her.  Joe, a good soul that he is, asked me to sing the song that we sang today and he taught me the nuances of the song ( he knows classical music too) and we sang the song a couple of times together, Joe correcting some notes that I wasnt singing well and I slipped into a blissfull sleep!!!

you can listen to the song here Paavanathmave

68) What's new?

My job is new and am thoroughly enjoying it. We have moved into a new rented house and my life has a whole new perspective. My work place is so close to my house, travel to work place is so much lesser and life looks so different and postive

69) What is the key to seduction?

Eyes and Lips.  An intimate look and smile can do a neat job.

70) What was the weirdest thing that happened to you this week??

My freind called to update me  about his dad who is in his death bed - I knew there is a lot he didnt tell me, but still whatever he told me freaked me out instantly.  Could not focus on whatever I was doing for the next 10 - 15 mins.  I said a divine mercy prayer right there.

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

I am so tempted to put on an halo and say I would save the dog.  Honestly, while I love dogs, I might not go down a canal, wet myself and save a dog.  I might call for help and get someone to pull the dog out and I guess having never been late to work till date, I can explain that to my boss.

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) Yes, of course, I will tell everyone.  I will make an earnest attempt to meet all my freinds and relatives who I have been longing to meet. 

b) I will make that Europe trip  going around every part of Europe with reckless abandon, I would want to come back to India to die though

c) a wee bit I guess.. no.. wait..  I will be afraid.... a lot.. I have been afraid of death  always... :-(

73) You can only have one of these things: trust or love.

Love - I truly beleive it is Love that makes the world go around.  Love any day.

74) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

a lot of them actually .. what comes to my mind is my historic favorite Everything I do by Bryan Adams.  Part of my youth and some good times in college.

75) Who has your cell phone number (other than family)?

a whole lot of people.. mostly freinds and relatives. and some business contacts.  I also get random calls from a lot of these call centres for all kinds of reasons.. I would be better off without them..

WOW...  thanks to Sunday Stealer and Preety I am done with my first MEME...  pat pat pat.. thats a Pat on my back!!!

Another Birthday Together

Your birthday marks another year together;
Such happy times, I couldn’t ask for more,
Spending precious minutes, hours and days
With you, my love, whom I cherish and adore.
We’ve shared so much, we two, in love and friendship;
Each year our bond just seems to grow and grow.
I always want to be right next to you;
To be with you means more than you can know.
You’re always there for me with a loving smile;
I’m never happier than when I know you’re near.
I thought my love for you could not grow stronger;
And yet I love you even more this year.
                                                     By Karl and Joanna Fuchs 

Today is J's birthday and this poem is dedicated to him. 

 

 

Flashback

Let me start with this – I have joined a new work place and it suits me fine, I like what I do and have time for my family. My work place is closer home and life has a completely new perspective.

The empty land next plot to my current office building is full of grass, plants some trees and creepers, uneven, unruly and showed signs of neglect and was pure wild growth. Some patch in the middle was cleared and the software engineers, from our office played cricket there every Friday evening. And when they did, the ball went into thick marshes when an technically able software engineer but sports challenged batsman hit the ball and everyone went searching for it. Most of the days there are cabs that come to my office that are parked there under the shade of a random tree. Its a L shaped plot and cordoned by a wall. In the middle of all this there is well, a large one, like the common wells that would be seen in villages.

The west face of our building faces this empty ground and since this is coloured glass and has the exit staircase that can be used by those who do not wish to take the lift. Since I take the stairs most of the time, I get an unobstructed view of this piece of land. Today as I went up for chai, I was thinking about how this entire area might have been agricultural land once upon a time and how this part would have been green and would have provided livelihood to many. The adjacent plot to this ground ( third plot in the row) has a huge unoccupied 10 storey building, the ground floor of which has some 9 audis, all White, parked, there. I also wonder why there are so many Audis parked there. There are many mysteries in life, I take this as yet another one.

Atleast for the last 40 days, whenever I watched this empty ground, I wondered how rich the owner might be and if I would ever own a plot this size and scope. Funny.. this morning however, I noticed a JCB levelling this empty ground. Both when I went for morning tea and lunch the giant JCB was slowly and steadily clearing the wild grass and was levelling the ground. Very evenly in giant circles and the lines it left behind was as if a giant ran his fingers through the soil there. I was so attracted to it, i spent a solid 2 - 3 minutes watching the careful, planned maneuvers of the IFE ( Industrial and Farm equipment). I guessed it might be levelled for some kind of a tournament the IT companies organise for their employees.

Only when I walked out today the smell hit me. Soil, the wetness below and the grass together brought out a smell that instantly took me back to my childhood. Memories of "Mangu", my maternal grand mothers’ house in Potta, memories of my grand parents all came together in a flash. Scents have this ability to draw back long lost memories, hidden under layers and layers of time..... My grand father and "Mangu" are no more. My grand mom does not live there any more and the house around 100 years old stands tall waiting to deteriorate. Anytime.

While we ( My siblings and me) were young, we went to kerala during summer holidays the complete two months was spent there in the love, care and embrace of our grand parents. And we were loved by our other relatives as well. Today I see that as a great gift my parents gave me during my childhood. Had an opportunity to mingle with my cousins, my uncles and aunts though we were far away in chennai. While we visited other relatives we had short stays in their houses, majority of the stay was at Potta which is my maternal grand parents place.

We had simple pleasures and past time while we spent our time at Potta. Playing with our cousins all kinds of traditional games, playing on the swing, going fishing in the canal and pond, going to our fields, helping with the gathering and plucking of mangoes, coconuts, eating and relishing all those lovely homegrown stuff at home. all kinds of Mangoes - we had atleast 4- 5 varieties of them, Jackfruit ( again around 3 varieties), Chamba (love apples) , Mulberries, Ambazhanga, Pera (Guava), Njaval ( the dark purple coloured Jamuns ), luvikka, cashew fruit and the nut, plantains ( multiple varieties), mulberries and whole lot of gooseberries ( again atleast 3 types of them).

I still remember the excitement of seeing a Bambloose naranga.. a huge really huge sweet lime variety. and whenever we could we were treated to tender coconuts - the ones from a special variety called "gowli thengu" which had orangish nuts. Other than the homegrown fruits, nuts and berries, our grandmother used to make such wonderful snacks for us to eat like Plantain chips, Tapioca chips, Achappam, Kuzhalappam, Chakka ada, Oulose podi, Unda, Kuzhiappam, Vatteppam, Kinnathappam and Kuzhalappam. These are stuff we used to eat other than our delicious breakfast, lunch and Dinner and as you can see, our primary past time then, however was giving as much work to our digestive system. And at that age, I guess only that mattered and so we filled our stomachs as much as we could.

One more important task we used to take upon ourselves was feeding Mangu. Mangu was my grandfathers buffalo specifically brought up so that we would have milk at home, during summer vacation when all kids land up. We had yet another favorite past time ( under the guidance of our grandfather, of course) - Mangu loves eating grass and it has to be pulled out from our " Parambu" and the best part is washing the grass in our Pond ( which strictly is done by our Appapan – that’s how we called our grand father). We loved it so much that as long as we were there, Mangu never gets to eat hay, we keep piling her food channel in the cowshed ("Thozhuthu") with green fresh grass. Ahhh that smell - when you pull fresh bright green grass from wet soil, the fragrance of rich brown earth mixed with the lovely smell of grass is unbelievably soothing and personally it takes me back some decades to the comfort of my maternal home where we had a safe, carefree loving life. And today those lovely days came to my mind for a flash and left me with a longing smile...

P.S:

Mangu’s Thozhuthu is as old as the house.
I am amazed what the internet can do for you. all the above pictures look similar to the images that I had in my memories.

17 years and counting !!!

“Sixteen going on Seventeen“ – the song from Sound of Music comes to my mind, the moment I see the number 17. The lyrics of the song state that Liesl is a young girl at the beginning of her womanhood, and that she can depend on Rolf for guidance, because he is a good year older. This blogpost is not about my age, or about womanhood but about the number of years Joe and I have travelled together and in that sense the lyrics make sense to both of us. 30th January is our 17th Wedding Anniversary.

From the day ( just before our marriage, after our engagement ) I asked him, ‘Do you Smoke?’ and he looked right into my eyes and said ‘I don’t, but if you want me to, I can start right away’ we both have come a long way. I don’t ask such foolish questions and he wouldn’t oblige me either !!!

While “happily married” and “wedded bliss” are all great exmaples of oxymorons, no one around us would consider our marriage anything less than those described by these words. Any sane human being reading this will also agree that there is no perfect marriage in this world. It hasn’t always been hunky-dory for us, we have had a fair share of our fights, difficulties and misunderstandings, but as you see, Love has always triumphed. Probably only Joe and I would know the efforts and the years that we have put together in making our marriage work. The best part is it has worked ( so far!!) and heart of hearts I know, it will continue. Please God Let it work.. pls..

For those who know only one of us, or the both us, or none of us, we are as different as Chalk and Cheese. Atleast Chalk and Cheese almost have the same colour, I would say we are like day and night. Different cultures though we are from the same community, different upbringing, different outlook to life and I still wonder how we both got together in the first place. While I can talk to even strangers at the speed of light, Joe would hesitate to take the first step to initiate a conversation even with someone known to him.  I love reading romantic fiction and he would prefer management books or worse still user manuals. If I like senti stuff in movies Joe is all for action.  ( just a few differences) That’s life and that’s what arranged marriages can do  to you occasionally. The point is we have survived it and with Gods grace look forward to so much more. ( ahem!!)

This Anniversary being our 17th one, I thought of listing down 17 stuff that I really admire about Joe.

1. HARDWORKING I wrote that purposely in Caps. If I have seen anyone in my life who does not shun work and works so hard, its him. I wouldn’t have to worry about my tomorrow as long he is fit. Infact, the moment he is free, he becomes restless and I keep telling him that he is mentally wired to be busy all the time.

2. From the initial days of my marriage to now, he has grown to become a very caring husband and I know I come first in his life.

3. He is an excellent driver – who can maneuver the car so well, drive it swift & fast and it is a pleasure to go on a drive with him. I still remember how he would make me sit pillion on his bike and does a 60 degree jump with his old TVS Suzuki before we go anywhere. I miss that now. He is a great bike rider too.

4. Speed and his pace is so fast that I literally am running most of the time to catch up with his pace. Be it simple walking or reading or talking or even cutting vegetables, he is pretty quick. At everything!!

5. Never ( never ever) complains about the food that is put on the table. Which is I think a great boon for someone like me who never knew the basics of cooking, when I got married. I owe him a lot for putting up with all those inedible stuff I used to make then. ( a note here though. I am a fairly good cook now)

6. He is fiercely independent, to an extent it sometimes gives me the creeps. I think to myself that this guy will live happily even without me. I have rarely seen him depend on others for anything.

7. Mostly a self made man, he is someone who can think on his feet, has a uncluttered, clear mind and can make fairly good decisions on his own.

8. Inspite of his decision making ability and his independence, he takes my inputs and I know he values it a lot.

9. In a world full of men who think getting into the kitchen is below their dignity (atleast amongst my family and clan), he is one who can put on the chef’s hat and do cooking and fine cooking at it. His team won the cookery show award when they did a competition at the place he works. What more can a woman ask for? And let me tell you a little secret – he taught me cooking in my initial days of marriage and he makes the softest chapattis in the world with absolutely no oil.

10. He has a cool head over his shoulders and does not let anything get to his head. He has no airs about himself, down to earth and is a man of few words.

11. A great role model and a good father for Dennu. I wish Dennu would grow up to be like him.

12. Very confident about himself and his abilities. I know as long as he is around I have great support system in him. I can live a carefree life.

13. Did I say he is a smart energetic fellow? I love the way he looks and I love the past face of his walk. Ah, I should tell this about him – I just love the hair he has on his hands.  Am I totally in love with him? You bet!

14. Very practical in his approach to life ( unlike me, I can day dream all through my life)

15. He accepts my family as his own and does not differentiate it for me or for them. Makes my life much easier when interacting with either side of the family.

16. The respect his siblings have for him – all his older siblings and his younger brother have a lot of respect for him.

17. His ability to fix anything and everything around the house. I keep telling him jokingly that when I married him, I married a plumber, carpenter, engineer, driver, mechanic and a husband. He is so good at these, for the last anniversary I gifted him a Bosch Power Tool kit and he absolutely loved it. The guys in the retail shop where I picked up this stuff wondered what my husband’s job was. I had to tell them he works in a decent organization and loves to do these stuff around home. And they told me that in all their years of running that place they have never seen a woman gift a Bosch tool kit to her husband. I got a Rs. 500 concession :-)

I actually realized I have a lot more good things to say about him, but let me stop here, lest my man may grow a halo around his head !!

And now to those who think what an angel this one is ( me, me ..) to list out so many good things about her husband, just give me a moment.

I just swapped my accessories – right now I have a couple of horns, a little black & red tail and a pitchfork. You know what, I can list atleast a hundred things that I hate about him and it wont need as much thinking as it needed for the above 17 entries. He he he

So, finally I am dedicating this blogpost to 17 years of togetherness and more to come... and closing with a picture of ours taken today.