Wednesday, November 24, 2010

A far away memory !!

I am staring at it – it’s a group picture of some wonderful times shared in the past. A camaraderie that once existed, the group itself does not exist anymore – not in the spirit of the once flourishing vibes.

Work went excellently well in the meeting – In fact, the processes we developed then were the baseline for the entire group that I was part of and it was so successful. Late night working, the night walks, photographs, posing, yoga, synchronized massaging, the greenery, the ambience, playing pranks on others, the bonfire, the bright moon (oh yeah, that was lovely and I very distinctly remember it !!) and the journey itself was so very memorable.

When I look at myself then, I am reminded of the hurt that only I related to. How hard I had to try to look happy, joyous and smiling but deep within I was actually bleeding. I guess I put up a great show, no one ever suspected anything for they involved me in the gossips, laughter and jokes that caused me this immense pain. The group photo is a reminder of the great time I shared with some very good friends and also a reminder of how things can go awfully wrong at the same time.

It was so very obvious right from the first day when we all met together and thankfully, it was obvious to me probably in the first couple of hours. I distinctly remember the messaging part and it struck me out of the blue, in front of my eyes. Then the stories unfolded from each member of the group one by one, account by account.. how I gritted my teeth to fight back tears  I laughed along with the group, hiding the pain tactfully and cried when I was alone.

I remember getting into my shell then, and I took a long time coming out of it. I am still staring at the picture and looking at how gracefully I am sitting next to one of my friends. The picture is bright hued, everyone is happy and smiling. Me too – but deep within only I know why I chose to sit where I sat and why I was so hurt.

But Vincy, What have you learnt from it? Aren’t you back to square one?

Its time you grew up !!!

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