Arikil nee undayirunnenkill yennu njaaan
oru mathre verudhe orthu poyi..
oru mathre verudhe orthu poyi...
Monday, April 20, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
A friday in Lent
I decided to go for "Way of the Cross" today.
I was reminded of all the fridays in the lent season in my childhood and how my parents dutifully took me week after week to the Way of the Cross. That was a time when I never knew that these sessions could be missed ( optional) in the first place.
Not that I really enjoyed those sessions, but it became a habit and I dont remember a day when I complained to my parents about those visits to church. It was almost like Sunday mass - we just didnt miss a way of the cross on Fridays during lent. We had to walk upto the beach, thats were the church was, in Ramakrishna Nagar and we were always there before any service began. Going late to church was never allowed.
Today on the way to church, Dennu asked me if it was Good friday. To say I was shocked is an understatement. He has been thinking that Good friday is the day we go for Way of the Cross. ( It shows the kind of christianity he is exposed to ..) anyways i did explain to him, how on every friday of the lent, way of the cross happens and because of our schedules at we could not make it for the same on other fridays.
As the service began, I thought of Petula, Jane and Pauline and how religiously we all used to go for the way of the cross when we were at SHY week after week. I remember once we missed it and came back to our room and did the way of the cross inside Petula's room with the help of a small book that she had and we promised to each other on not missing it anymore.
When did I change from that person who felt guilty about missing a Way of the Cross to the person that I am today - I even forget that fridays in lent needs a visit to the church, let alone way of the cross.
I was also thinking of one friday a couple of years back ( more recently) Anita and I went to st. Theresa's Church in Nungambakkam for the way of the cross and how Anita yelled at a couple of kids ( 12 - 14 yrs old girls) who were giggling and talking all through the service.
Today made me go through some of my past - and how simple my childhood and my dreams were. And what I am today, how complex I have turned myself into. My simple beliefs are gone along with my innocence. I have grown up in more than one way and I cannot stand in front of my LORD, anymore, with that child like innocence.
But I am in a way thankful for this day for it brought back to me some of my very nice memories of how good I was once upon a time.
I was reminded of all the fridays in the lent season in my childhood and how my parents dutifully took me week after week to the Way of the Cross. That was a time when I never knew that these sessions could be missed ( optional) in the first place.
Not that I really enjoyed those sessions, but it became a habit and I dont remember a day when I complained to my parents about those visits to church. It was almost like Sunday mass - we just didnt miss a way of the cross on Fridays during lent. We had to walk upto the beach, thats were the church was, in Ramakrishna Nagar and we were always there before any service began. Going late to church was never allowed.
Today on the way to church, Dennu asked me if it was Good friday. To say I was shocked is an understatement. He has been thinking that Good friday is the day we go for Way of the Cross. ( It shows the kind of christianity he is exposed to ..) anyways i did explain to him, how on every friday of the lent, way of the cross happens and because of our schedules at we could not make it for the same on other fridays.
As the service began, I thought of Petula, Jane and Pauline and how religiously we all used to go for the way of the cross when we were at SHY week after week. I remember once we missed it and came back to our room and did the way of the cross inside Petula's room with the help of a small book that she had and we promised to each other on not missing it anymore.
When did I change from that person who felt guilty about missing a Way of the Cross to the person that I am today - I even forget that fridays in lent needs a visit to the church, let alone way of the cross.
I was also thinking of one friday a couple of years back ( more recently) Anita and I went to st. Theresa's Church in Nungambakkam for the way of the cross and how Anita yelled at a couple of kids ( 12 - 14 yrs old girls) who were giggling and talking all through the service.
Today made me go through some of my past - and how simple my childhood and my dreams were. And what I am today, how complex I have turned myself into. My simple beliefs are gone along with my innocence. I have grown up in more than one way and I cannot stand in front of my LORD, anymore, with that child like innocence.
But I am in a way thankful for this day for it brought back to me some of my very nice memories of how good I was once upon a time.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
My space
Blogging is a way of self expression. To me this space is a canvas to express myself without boundaries. This is my Space - meant for me to pour out my feelings, emotions, raise doubts, answer queries or just come in and read my earlier posts.
Writing is like archiving your memories into words.. similar to photography. photographs capture visuals in a picture format and these expressions through writing helps to capture perspectives, emotions and feelings in a much more vivid format in the form of words. I can spend moments going through a photo album and recalling those memories of the past. And this blog offers the same comfort of going back to those feelings that you felt back then, whenever it was put down explicitly.
the comfort of going back to it and cherishing the moments of the past is a wonderful feeling. And hence I do not want to share this space with anyone.. I dont mind putting up a sign that says " Tresspassers will be prosecuted". This is my private space and i am not expecting any intruders into this haven.
This is My Space. and mine alone.
Writing is like archiving your memories into words.. similar to photography. photographs capture visuals in a picture format and these expressions through writing helps to capture perspectives, emotions and feelings in a much more vivid format in the form of words. I can spend moments going through a photo album and recalling those memories of the past. And this blog offers the same comfort of going back to those feelings that you felt back then, whenever it was put down explicitly.
the comfort of going back to it and cherishing the moments of the past is a wonderful feeling. And hence I do not want to share this space with anyone.. I dont mind putting up a sign that says " Tresspassers will be prosecuted". This is my private space and i am not expecting any intruders into this haven.
This is My Space. and mine alone.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Chennai Marathon 09
The Chennai Marathon was on the 15th of Feb 2009.
Business had taken Joe to Ooty, leaving me to fend for Denny (during that weekend). the Marathon was supposed to start at 6 am, I had ensured that a driver comes comes home by 5.30 am. And we started with full Josh and a full a can of milk for Denny to drink on the way. Reaching Anna Square in Marina beach was a task by itself as all the roads leading to the Anna Square blocked by the organsiers with full police protection.
Finally Denny and I reached the road behind Chidambaram Stadium, from where we walked the short distance to reach Anna Square. Denny's friends joined us and I was surprised to see most of them came on their own taking the metro buses at 4.30 am.
I parked myself very comfortably in the middle of the road at the end of the median, while Dennis walked towards the starting point.
To my surprise i found some of my Satyam friends during the run. I cheered for most people running, but it was an emotional moment when i saw a 70+ year old man running to the finish line. A couple of men near me clapped and i joined them in cheering the old man. Dennu passed by me very naughtily, along with his friends and the look on his face told me that he hadnt run too far... anyway the most important point was that he was there on the track..
After a while of rest for Den and his friends ( schoolmates), we came back. I wished Joe was in town - i am sure he would have run the Marathon and I could have joined him too.. Anyways, I was somehow part of the Chennai Marathon, representing the city that I grew up in, representing a city close to my heart and the most beautiful place on earth.
Business had taken Joe to Ooty, leaving me to fend for Denny (during that weekend). the Marathon was supposed to start at 6 am, I had ensured that a driver comes comes home by 5.30 am. And we started with full Josh and a full a can of milk for Denny to drink on the way. Reaching Anna Square in Marina beach was a task by itself as all the roads leading to the Anna Square blocked by the organsiers with full police protection.
Finally Denny and I reached the road behind Chidambaram Stadium, from where we walked the short distance to reach Anna Square. Denny's friends joined us and I was surprised to see most of them came on their own taking the metro buses at 4.30 am.
I parked myself very comfortably in the middle of the road at the end of the median, while Dennis walked towards the starting point.
To my surprise i found some of my Satyam friends during the run. I cheered for most people running, but it was an emotional moment when i saw a 70+ year old man running to the finish line. A couple of men near me clapped and i joined them in cheering the old man. Dennu passed by me very naughtily, along with his friends and the look on his face told me that he hadnt run too far... anyway the most important point was that he was there on the track..
After a while of rest for Den and his friends ( schoolmates), we came back. I wished Joe was in town - i am sure he would have run the Marathon and I could have joined him too.. Anyways, I was somehow part of the Chennai Marathon, representing the city that I grew up in, representing a city close to my heart and the most beautiful place on earth.
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Whats in a name ?? Vincy Mariam Vs Vincy Joseph
These two names, though they both are mine and represent me, are part of two distinct and definitive phases of this personality identified by Vincy.
These two phases are continuous with one fading out slowly after a major event in my life giving way to the other shining in…
The first one, my maiden name is a name which tells me that its, oh.. so long back.. was I like that? oh yes that was a phase in my life where I was this naïve, innocent, naughty, brilliant, sensitive, beautiful (?) and of course Young and sometimes lazy, dumb and idiotic. Hey how did I forget the key word – Slim?
Much thinner than what I am today. There was a time when I was so thin, I ate chocolates continuously in a vain attempt to put on some more weight just before my wedding. How can I forget my cousin’s advice on wearing two underskirts on the wedding day to make myself look a little more fuller ??? I actually did that !
Vincy is a name that has been coined ( like in any other common Mallu Syrian Catholic family ) from the name of my parents Vincent and Rosy – I am sure you got it.. Vinc is from my dad and the y is from my mom.. or should I say the phonetic sound of si is from mom? Together it made up my name, and it is a very common name in Kerala in any household and it has always been one of the biggest giveaway on my linguistic and south Indian keralite origin when I introduce myself anywhere. Not that I have any issues about it, but if at all I had ever wanted my origins under wraps, I could never do it.
Interestingly, people always remembered my name in school and college, because though my official name in the baptismal certificate was Mariam Putherikkal Kannookadan ( there is a nice background behind this, which I heard from my father with wide eyed amazement, when I was in college), and my school and college records spelt my name as Vincy (Alias) Mariam K, where the first name was forcefully added on to my official name when I was in school, I always labeled my books, records, and other stationery as Vincy Vincent. That was quite rhyming right?
I always have hated that alias part within brackets in my name, as it makes my name sound like a Crook’s name ( generally crooks have the aliases, right? ) and most people in south India pronounce it as Elias, without knowing Elias has biblical connotations. Very Christian even in my Alias !
Mariam is the name of my paternal grandmother and my parents had no choice, infact they did it so willingly, that they named me, after her. I have very little memories of her though – she was a softspoken, fair lady with a lot of love for my parents and all of us children, especially my father, as he was her youngest child. I remember how my mother used to instruct us to hug and kiss her as soon as we reach Aripalam ( my dads house used to be there). She had the Mekka mothirams ( big rings on her top portion of the earlobes) and the lower portion of the earlobes hung down a bit with that part of the flesh overextended. She didn’t have teeth, that’s how I remember her and she keeps those nice goodies for my brother and me in her vettila cheppu ( betel leaf box) and used to call us and give it to us very secretly. I remember her feet very distinctly, because I think my feet have taken over hers. She wears the white chatta , jerinja mundu ( to be pronounced by twisting your tongue and in a good nasal tone and I used to call it the tail) and the potha mundu ( something like a shawl always in light hues).
Putherikkal Kannookadan is my dads family name which is automatically passed to the children. All Christians were some generations back Hindus in India and our forefathers ( and ofcourse the mothers too) were the high class Hindus with a illa peru and a veettu peru. Illam is basically the name of the Tharavad ( I know it rings a bell somewhere .. there are restaurants in most cities with names like these) that you belong to. In my name the Putherikkal is the name of the illam and Kannookadan is the name of the veedu ( house). I have never used this elaborate and flamboyant name ever, except that it is has a prominent space in my baptism certificate and my name always used the shortest form of the house name for my initial, K. So my name had versions, as per my whims and fancies like Vincy K Vincent, Vincy ( alias) Mariam K, Vincy Vincent K.
Marriage always takes you by surprise, it presents to you various perspectives, at times puts the family of which you were a part of earlier, in a completely different light. You walk into a new family and are expected to make that family your own. My uncles’ advice before marriage comes to my mind now.. he said marriage for an Indian girl is like pulling out a plant from the soil where it has grown and planting it elsewhere where the territory, soil and surivival conditions are different. The plant initially might droop, but after a little while will get used to the current conditions and will grow up to be bigger one that bears flowers and fruits ( I never asked him what if that was an ornamental plant that never flowers or bears fruit)
The best thing I like about my post marriage name is the fact that it has no aliases. Just a simple name mine and my better half’s. No initials no threads attached.. oops no brackets attached, no full stops either. It gives the comfort of the support given to me by my hubby, making me stronger physically and emotionally. Acceptance of his love reciprocated through the inclusion of his name in my identity forever. Does he ever realize what an enormous thing it is to be part of someone’s identity?
Even as a person there are so many changes that one experiences, as in change in priorities especially when a child comes by, or sheer pressure of playing so many different roles all at a time, with that smile on your face, such as that of a wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, mother, sister-in-law, co-sister, aunt sometimes even that of a grandmother ( I am one already with Joe’s niece delivering a cute daughter and so to her I am a granny J).
Other than external repercussions ( no negativity intended here) there are quite a few changes that happens internally, you become a mature person, stronger, more confident, less sensitive, bolder and have realized that this name, Vincy Joseph is with me to stay for the rest of my life and represents a stronger me. The part of life which made me proud of the fact that I am a mother, part of gods creation and how beautiful it is to hold on to the tender feet and hands of a new born child. And how the worries that bog me down can just vanish like a thin mist when I see the little one’s smile or touch!!
On second thoughts, these phases that I mentioned above are like these ads that you see in paper, advertising about slimmer waistlines, chestlines, thigh lines and what not, after a particular slimming treatment that many people go these days, more as just a fad…with the treatment name such as VLCC Before and After, or the more historical and popular BC and AD just that in my case it can called as the BM and AM indicating the before Marriage and after marriage. The changes though are reverse in my case Slimmer before and fatter after ! but the changes that come by emotionally, can never be put down that easily !!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Decision
I heard Narayana Murthy, chief mentor of Infy, the other day on TV, say " The softest pillow is clear self conscience" - I am not sure if I was looking for the softest pillow when I took this decision.
But my decision certainly has more to it than the softest pillow part - it is taken out of love, care and consideration ( of self ? which one?). Is that what Jeevan Vidhya taught us anyway?
I took this decision strangely on a day when everything was going on fine. I was so happy and amidst all that happiness, I thought it is time to decide, now or never.. It was my decision a decision that came from deep within my soul and I had to prepare myself psychologically, run it over and over again in my mind, write it down and get myself to accept it so that when that moment came, i could just go ahead and do it.
I thought of all the pros and cos - like what I will lose in life ( that was quite a bit ) and what i will gain( noone will ever know it, though ). It was a herculean task with surprisingly pro's and con's balancing out making it all the more difficult to ensure that the decision can be taken at all in the first place..
But triumph was mine. I stuck to my guns ( atleast till this moment). It was difficult to start with, it is difficult to continue. Pain, ache, sweat, tears, anxiety, tempatation - name it and I have gone through it all in a short time.
I asked for divine intervention, gave it a new year resolution's tint and what not, just to ensure that i go ahead with it.
Everything is going as planned - hope it will continue. Results are showing as expected and lets see how long i can hold on to this resolve..... and for those who are breaking your head on what the decision is - its some load shedding.. He he he
But my decision certainly has more to it than the softest pillow part - it is taken out of love, care and consideration ( of self ? which one?). Is that what Jeevan Vidhya taught us anyway?
I took this decision strangely on a day when everything was going on fine. I was so happy and amidst all that happiness, I thought it is time to decide, now or never.. It was my decision a decision that came from deep within my soul and I had to prepare myself psychologically, run it over and over again in my mind, write it down and get myself to accept it so that when that moment came, i could just go ahead and do it.
I thought of all the pros and cos - like what I will lose in life ( that was quite a bit ) and what i will gain( noone will ever know it, though ). It was a herculean task with surprisingly pro's and con's balancing out making it all the more difficult to ensure that the decision can be taken at all in the first place..
But triumph was mine. I stuck to my guns ( atleast till this moment). It was difficult to start with, it is difficult to continue. Pain, ache, sweat, tears, anxiety, tempatation - name it and I have gone through it all in a short time.
I asked for divine intervention, gave it a new year resolution's tint and what not, just to ensure that i go ahead with it.
Everything is going as planned - hope it will continue. Results are showing as expected and lets see how long i can hold on to this resolve..... and for those who are breaking your head on what the decision is - its some load shedding.. He he he
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Joy !!
No.. the title has no pun intented !!!
There are a zillion things that i want to say, but i am in such a state that not even a comment crossed my mind.. Are you staring at this? no i dont think so..
And did things really happen the way it happened? Yes of course.
Life is all about choices that you make. Some choices are very difficult - but the most difficult one is the choice of regretting about the stuff that you missed doing. does this ring a bell somewhere? It should :-) certain choices make you happy, because they are the wisest thing that you have ever done..
Okay I am now beating around the bush... nope.. i am no where near the bush - am far far away from it. so what am I trying to say?
The whole world is a beautiful place, the sky line, the weather hmmmm.. that sounds familiar too...
hey there is a truth.. there is definitely happiness in giving.. its so beautiful to see someone receiving something and feeling really good about getting it. Words are not spoken, but the gratitude is in the eyes and love is in the air...
Is that the last nail on my coffin..? ha ha ha .. what a metaphor. what? i ensured that the screws are tightened too.. i mean on the coffin!!
Am i writing something for the sake of writing? It may seem so.. but it is not.
Did i ever say in my earlier blog that I have moved away from insanity? i doubt that!
There are a zillion things that i want to say, but i am in such a state that not even a comment crossed my mind.. Are you staring at this? no i dont think so..
And did things really happen the way it happened? Yes of course.
Life is all about choices that you make. Some choices are very difficult - but the most difficult one is the choice of regretting about the stuff that you missed doing. does this ring a bell somewhere? It should :-) certain choices make you happy, because they are the wisest thing that you have ever done..
Okay I am now beating around the bush... nope.. i am no where near the bush - am far far away from it. so what am I trying to say?
The whole world is a beautiful place, the sky line, the weather hmmmm.. that sounds familiar too...
hey there is a truth.. there is definitely happiness in giving.. its so beautiful to see someone receiving something and feeling really good about getting it. Words are not spoken, but the gratitude is in the eyes and love is in the air...
Is that the last nail on my coffin..? ha ha ha .. what a metaphor. what? i ensured that the screws are tightened too.. i mean on the coffin!!
Am i writing something for the sake of writing? It may seem so.. but it is not.
Did i ever say in my earlier blog that I have moved away from insanity? i doubt that!
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Vacation at Valpaarai
Valpaarai….. A travelogue…Sholaiyar Dam ( picture on left)
Few moments we enjoyed during our trip other than the drive up and down all those hairpin bends include the long steep walk around the tea estates for almost 2 hours called Sajitha Estate which is around 250 acres ( mind you, it’s a small one compared to the TATA tea estates which are much bigger), drinking the black tea prepared for the workers – its got a peculiar smoky taste, and our moments of glory when Denny and I joined the workers to cut the tea leaves with specially made scissors attached to netted plastic bags. None of us can forget the way the head of the monkey clan at LOME view ( this place gives a comprehensive view of Azhiyaar dam) gave signals to the others to attack us. But the head of our group, JOE the great, outwitted the monkey clan he he he…. The estates and the places had some very funny names such as the Hospital Waterfalls – an Hospital named Waterfalls. There was a few minutes when we were driving down those hairpin bends when a massive wave of mist engulfed our path and it was heavenly to drive through those curves and bends in the mist.
Though this was a very short trip, the serenity of the place charged us all up.
It was a very unplanned trip – All of a sudden, my hubby dear came up and said lets go to Valpaarai ( later I figured out that one of his official partners’ friend had a guest house and during a discussion this idea came upon him) and thus began our trip to this amazing place which was full of lush green tea estates, waterfalls, dams, wilderness and lots of hairpin bends ( 40 to be precise – 28 going up and 12 going down ). The unplanned trip definitely turned out to be a real good holiday.
From the hustle and bustle of citylife to a place covered in green carpet all over with plenty of fresh unpolluted air to breathe, most importantly the silent serene atmosphere was a welcome change for all of us. This place is quite close to the borders of Kerala. Gods own country is a just a couple of kilometers `away and interestingly, my mom hails from Chalakudy which was just 89 kms away from the place where we stayed.
From Chennai, Valpaarai is approximately around 650 kms and the route to we took to drive was Chennai – Dindivanam-Salem-Tirupur-Pollachi-Valpaarai. With some lavish breaks during our journey we reached this place in 18 hours and that’s a long drive. Hubby dear has a lot of stamina… he drove alone.
Though we could not enjoy the drive up to Valpaarai ( we were going up at midnight and all we could see was just plain darkness), we realized we missed quite bit when we drove down to Pollachi – the drive was incredibly beautiful. Its better not to go to this place unless you know of a place to stay in Valpaarai, because there are not many decent hotels up here and this place is yet to be commercially exploited.
Most of the large tea estates here are owned by TATA, and remaining places are filled by dams such as Sholayar dam and the Azhiyaar dam and a lot of water bodies. One of these dams is the second largest in Asia. Azhiyaar dam’s guest house is the place in which one of the oldest Rap songs of tamil cinema, “Vishwanathan, Velai vendum “ was shot. Walking on the dams is permitted and is wonderful. Monkey Falls is on the way to Valpaarai and is a reasonably big waterfall and there are those numerous small ones on the way to Valpaarai.
From the hustle and bustle of citylife to a place covered in green carpet all over with plenty of fresh unpolluted air to breathe, most importantly the silent serene atmosphere was a welcome change for all of us. This place is quite close to the borders of Kerala. Gods own country is a just a couple of kilometers `away and interestingly, my mom hails from Chalakudy which was just 89 kms away from the place where we stayed.
From Chennai, Valpaarai is approximately around 650 kms and the route to we took to drive was Chennai – Dindivanam-Salem-Tirupur-Pollachi-Valpaarai. With some lavish breaks during our journey we reached this place in 18 hours and that’s a long drive. Hubby dear has a lot of stamina… he drove alone.
Though we could not enjoy the drive up to Valpaarai ( we were going up at midnight and all we could see was just plain darkness), we realized we missed quite bit when we drove down to Pollachi – the drive was incredibly beautiful. Its better not to go to this place unless you know of a place to stay in Valpaarai, because there are not many decent hotels up here and this place is yet to be commercially exploited.
Most of the large tea estates here are owned by TATA, and remaining places are filled by dams such as Sholayar dam and the Azhiyaar dam and a lot of water bodies. One of these dams is the second largest in Asia. Azhiyaar dam’s guest house is the place in which one of the oldest Rap songs of tamil cinema, “Vishwanathan, Velai vendum “ was shot. Walking on the dams is permitted and is wonderful. Monkey Falls is on the way to Valpaarai and is a reasonably big waterfall and there are those numerous small ones on the way to Valpaarai.
Few moments we enjoyed during our trip other than the drive up and down all those hairpin bends include the long steep walk around the tea estates for almost 2 hours called Sajitha Estate which is around 250 acres ( mind you, it’s a small one compared to the TATA tea estates which are much bigger), drinking the black tea prepared for the workers – its got a peculiar smoky taste, and our moments of glory when Denny and I joined the workers to cut the tea leaves with specially made scissors attached to netted plastic bags. None of us can forget the way the head of the monkey clan at LOME view ( this place gives a comprehensive view of Azhiyaar dam) gave signals to the others to attack us. But the head of our group, JOE the great, outwitted the monkey clan he he he…. The estates and the places had some very funny names such as the Hospital Waterfalls – an Hospital named Waterfalls. There was a few minutes when we were driving down those hairpin bends when a massive wave of mist engulfed our path and it was heavenly to drive through those curves and bends in the mist.
Above : A New recruit tea picker ( sounds rhyming with Rag picker?) and that’s green tea :-)
Our guide ( can we call him that??) showed us the tracks of a tiger – he showed us a place where a tiger had slept the previous night and the paw marks looked very much like those of a tiger to our untrained eyes. We only have the experience of watching all these on Discovery Channel. Denny never dared venture out on his own after that.. but he had some brow raising questions such as does an Anaconda live here, do you have pythons here? Are there any Crocodiles in the water? Will a hippo attack us, Can we see an elephant? etc., and of course his infamous question during the drive all along was “When will we have our next flat tyre?” which kept sending jitters through joe’s spine ha ha..
Although our guide and the owner of the resort told us that we can spot exotic wild animals after seven in the night, all we could spot was a wild brown rabbit, monkeys and a couple of very exotic looking birds and of course the very interesting Tiger paw marks.
We had gone for a early morning walk on the Sholayar dam ( which we could not make it though) on one of the days and on the way back we stopped at a typical teashop that you find in the hillstations and ordered for Chai. A very unassuming man there, who seemed a regular customer of that place told us that one us have been bitten by a leech and all of us checked our legs and didn’t figure out anything. The man showed us a very small leech on the floor which had a slight bulge on the belly side – and insisted that it has sucked out someone’s blood in our group. We frantically checked again with no evidence of a leech biting any of us. Later we figured out the leech had bitten Joe as there was a spot above his ankle that was bleeding. Thankfully it was not a big one..Wisdom from experience…
On the way to Valpaarai we had two flat tyres and got my parents all worked up – they did start up on their prayers. It was their maiden voyage with us. The drive was a little too hectic on Joe, driving around 18 hours at a stretch one way, and that’s one of the reasons we didn’t want to venture to Athirampally and Vazhachaal… which was close. Our guide had warned us of the bad roads leading to that place and the special permissions that we had to take because we would be getting into the forest range.
Although our guide and the owner of the resort told us that we can spot exotic wild animals after seven in the night, all we could spot was a wild brown rabbit, monkeys and a couple of very exotic looking birds and of course the very interesting Tiger paw marks.
We had gone for a early morning walk on the Sholayar dam ( which we could not make it though) on one of the days and on the way back we stopped at a typical teashop that you find in the hillstations and ordered for Chai. A very unassuming man there, who seemed a regular customer of that place told us that one us have been bitten by a leech and all of us checked our legs and didn’t figure out anything. The man showed us a very small leech on the floor which had a slight bulge on the belly side – and insisted that it has sucked out someone’s blood in our group. We frantically checked again with no evidence of a leech biting any of us. Later we figured out the leech had bitten Joe as there was a spot above his ankle that was bleeding. Thankfully it was not a big one..Wisdom from experience…
On the way to Valpaarai we had two flat tyres and got my parents all worked up – they did start up on their prayers. It was their maiden voyage with us. The drive was a little too hectic on Joe, driving around 18 hours at a stretch one way, and that’s one of the reasons we didn’t want to venture to Athirampally and Vazhachaal… which was close. Our guide had warned us of the bad roads leading to that place and the special permissions that we had to take because we would be getting into the forest range.
Though this was a very short trip, the serenity of the place charged us all up.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Reality
People in anyone's lives could be permanent ( with you forever like your parents, siblings) or could be temporary ( like workplace colleagues) or could be seasonal ( like friends) and their timings in your life could move between anyone of these....
And you end up being in love with people for different reasons - sometimes because of the blood relation, sometimes because of the way you relate to the other person. Sometimes because the other person was with you in times of trouble and anxiety and sometimes because of gratitude.
In any relationship, there are expectations from both sides. Its very rare that you have relationship in which you do not have any such expectations. Anyway I am not trying to make a point on relationships or love.
Inspite of all the things in your life, wealth, job, family, friends etc., there are moments when you feel so lonely, so alone in this world, so bare that you wonder where has all this gone... and thats reality.
there are many times i keep wondering that one day I would die... just go down to the earth where i came from ( BTW, how is that I came from earth ?) and how will it feel to be alone there rotting in the coffin... very scary thought right?
Amidst all the fear, loneliness, frustation some times there are some people who cross your mind and you are suddenly grateful for their presence in your life. They might never be aware of their importance in your life. but thats' reality.
There is also another reality - whatever I have written down is not what i wanted to blog about. i am just beating around the bush about things that dont matter to me at the moment. Still I am continuing.. why? I do not know... But that is reality too....
:-)
And you end up being in love with people for different reasons - sometimes because of the blood relation, sometimes because of the way you relate to the other person. Sometimes because the other person was with you in times of trouble and anxiety and sometimes because of gratitude.
In any relationship, there are expectations from both sides. Its very rare that you have relationship in which you do not have any such expectations. Anyway I am not trying to make a point on relationships or love.
Inspite of all the things in your life, wealth, job, family, friends etc., there are moments when you feel so lonely, so alone in this world, so bare that you wonder where has all this gone... and thats reality.
there are many times i keep wondering that one day I would die... just go down to the earth where i came from ( BTW, how is that I came from earth ?) and how will it feel to be alone there rotting in the coffin... very scary thought right?
Amidst all the fear, loneliness, frustation some times there are some people who cross your mind and you are suddenly grateful for their presence in your life. They might never be aware of their importance in your life. but thats' reality.
There is also another reality - whatever I have written down is not what i wanted to blog about. i am just beating around the bush about things that dont matter to me at the moment. Still I am continuing.. why? I do not know... But that is reality too....
:-)
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Rumbles
I cant beleive i have not blogged for close to 2 years.
There's been a break just like the changes that has happened around me and in me. From insanity, i have been able to move to a state of sanity - god's grace definitely.
At the end of the whole I feel proud of myself.
There's been a break just like the changes that has happened around me and in me. From insanity, i have been able to move to a state of sanity - god's grace definitely.
At the end of the whole I feel proud of myself.
Friday, July 21, 2006
Sydney
When I sit today and think about that trip, I still can't beleive I made it to a foreign land all on my own.
firstly I didnt ever beleive the trip will come through -secondly I was wondering if I will ever make it alone. AND I did - successfully.
I was all nervous, a little worried, a little excited about a long trip to a foreign soil alone and a weeee bit proud about the fact that I have worked hard to make this trip happen. Most of all I was confident my lord will take me through this trip without any hitches.
So I left the safe shores of Chennai on the 30th of january 2006 to Sydney, on my eleventh wedding anniversary. The travel to sydney was good - a little long, tolerable, boring at times - most of the time I was lost in my own thoughts.
I landed in sydney and called waterfront apartments and confirmed my booking. The place was interesting, people were friendly and warm and the climate almost like that of India.
I still remember vividly how I got down at Sydney airport and how I lugged all the box and the comp to the station and went to Paramatta station. And from there took a cab to waterfront apartments. was met by the service people there to my room and th next day I was at Unilever office, taking a presentation on " culture ".
Even while I was handling the sessions I couldnt beleive I was there doing this - was it the same little girl so unsure of herself some years back, doing all this???
My confidence, faith and trust in the lord grew by the minute - I had some one to talk to all the time, someone who would listen to me unfailingly and someone who kept affirming what more do you need in this world other than me.
This trip came at a time when I was emotionally beaten up, had completly lost all my hopes on life, felt helpless, felt cheated upon and had a feeling that noone cared for me. This trip was my lord's way of telling me, all these years you loved and looked forward to travel abroad and here I am presenting you a trip where we both, just the lord and me would go together for 2 weeks.
And hence every step I took, every session that I handled, every smile I received I felt good. No one will beleive this, but I always felt there was someone talking to me all the time, watching over me and someone with me all the time during this trip.
Unilever was a nice place - a quiet place. Time and again, I got into comparing India and that beautiful place. On the third day went to Sydney office and also to Nestle office and met my collegaues.
during my trip to Sydney visited the aquarium, opera house, went for the ocean drive under the bridge (cockle bay), traveled in cabs, local trains, buses, did shopping, window shopping, eating all kinds of icecream and enjoying life in general. Felt amazed at the creations of the lord, and generally changed my perspective on mother earth.
And it happened - almost like a miracle. It was a way of my lord telling me very explicitly " I love you my child ".
It was a saturday and I had slept almost till afternoon and I was looking for a church to attend mass the next day. Kept loafing around to find a church, asked a couple of strangers and then I kept walking along the beautiful shores of Paramatta river. and I saw a middleaged lady saying rosary and walking - she had flourescent green rosary. My first reaction was let me not disturb her rosary. And then I thought if I let her go I might not get to know about church and hence I stopped her and asked her for a catholic church. she looked puzzled and asked me how do you know I am a catholic. and I told her you have the rosary!!!
And she looked surprised and was quiet and then she told me, she normally brings in a gold rosary that goes unnoticed and that particular day she had the urge to pick up this bright coloured rosary, though she was wearing the gold one. And what made me feel so good was " the lord wanted me to show you the church and that's why he made me bring this bright coloured rosary" and I felt him next to me - hovering over me like a mother hen.
Her name was Lorainne and I went to a Lebanese church - sat through a rosary in lebonese and then checked with the priest there for a way to Catholic church and found the same.
Sunday morning I went for mass in the church opposite Waterfront apartments - all I had to do was to cross the park and reach the church and started to Melbourne.
Except for feeling lonely in the room in the nights, I began to fall in love with Australia, its people, the cleanliness, the warmth and lot of other things.
Took a cab and said a bye to sydney from Sydney airport while I left to Melbourne.
firstly I didnt ever beleive the trip will come through -secondly I was wondering if I will ever make it alone. AND I did - successfully.
I was all nervous, a little worried, a little excited about a long trip to a foreign soil alone and a weeee bit proud about the fact that I have worked hard to make this trip happen. Most of all I was confident my lord will take me through this trip without any hitches.
So I left the safe shores of Chennai on the 30th of january 2006 to Sydney, on my eleventh wedding anniversary. The travel to sydney was good - a little long, tolerable, boring at times - most of the time I was lost in my own thoughts.
I landed in sydney and called waterfront apartments and confirmed my booking. The place was interesting, people were friendly and warm and the climate almost like that of India.
I still remember vividly how I got down at Sydney airport and how I lugged all the box and the comp to the station and went to Paramatta station. And from there took a cab to waterfront apartments. was met by the service people there to my room and th next day I was at Unilever office, taking a presentation on " culture ".
Even while I was handling the sessions I couldnt beleive I was there doing this - was it the same little girl so unsure of herself some years back, doing all this???
My confidence, faith and trust in the lord grew by the minute - I had some one to talk to all the time, someone who would listen to me unfailingly and someone who kept affirming what more do you need in this world other than me.
This trip came at a time when I was emotionally beaten up, had completly lost all my hopes on life, felt helpless, felt cheated upon and had a feeling that noone cared for me. This trip was my lord's way of telling me, all these years you loved and looked forward to travel abroad and here I am presenting you a trip where we both, just the lord and me would go together for 2 weeks.
And hence every step I took, every session that I handled, every smile I received I felt good. No one will beleive this, but I always felt there was someone talking to me all the time, watching over me and someone with me all the time during this trip.
Unilever was a nice place - a quiet place. Time and again, I got into comparing India and that beautiful place. On the third day went to Sydney office and also to Nestle office and met my collegaues.
during my trip to Sydney visited the aquarium, opera house, went for the ocean drive under the bridge (cockle bay), traveled in cabs, local trains, buses, did shopping, window shopping, eating all kinds of icecream and enjoying life in general. Felt amazed at the creations of the lord, and generally changed my perspective on mother earth.
And it happened - almost like a miracle. It was a way of my lord telling me very explicitly " I love you my child ".
It was a saturday and I had slept almost till afternoon and I was looking for a church to attend mass the next day. Kept loafing around to find a church, asked a couple of strangers and then I kept walking along the beautiful shores of Paramatta river. and I saw a middleaged lady saying rosary and walking - she had flourescent green rosary. My first reaction was let me not disturb her rosary. And then I thought if I let her go I might not get to know about church and hence I stopped her and asked her for a catholic church. she looked puzzled and asked me how do you know I am a catholic. and I told her you have the rosary!!!
And she looked surprised and was quiet and then she told me, she normally brings in a gold rosary that goes unnoticed and that particular day she had the urge to pick up this bright coloured rosary, though she was wearing the gold one. And what made me feel so good was " the lord wanted me to show you the church and that's why he made me bring this bright coloured rosary" and I felt him next to me - hovering over me like a mother hen.
Her name was Lorainne and I went to a Lebanese church - sat through a rosary in lebonese and then checked with the priest there for a way to Catholic church and found the same.
Sunday morning I went for mass in the church opposite Waterfront apartments - all I had to do was to cross the park and reach the church and started to Melbourne.
Except for feeling lonely in the room in the nights, I began to fall in love with Australia, its people, the cleanliness, the warmth and lot of other things.
Took a cab and said a bye to sydney from Sydney airport while I left to Melbourne.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Soulmate
I need to talk about him. And definitely he comes first in my life.
Do I love him? No, I just adore him. Known him since my early childhood and the kind of conversations that I had with him, I never had it with anyone else in my life. He is so understanding, patient, loving, kind and caring and best of all he is there whenever I need.
He's a big guy but I guess whenever I have needed him, he's been next to me answering my call. There are no secrets between us, there definitely are some secrets that are just ours alone. There is just noone between us - just HIM and ME.
He works in mysterious ways and to me offers 24/7 service and is willing to sit up with me as long I need. Has made me feel many times that I am the only person who has mattered to him in this entire world. I feel great with him around.
The trust that I have on him is growing by the minute and God, I wonder what I will do without him! The best part of our friendship is I'm myself with him. No pretensions ( it wont work with him ) No predudices, just Love and its' such a bliss to have known someone like him. He can read my mind with such clarity that therez no point in hiding facts to him.
He is my confidence, his acheivements are my motivation and I turn around to him and only to him in times of despair and tears, 'coz I know he is the only one who truly understands me. Yes, when the whole world beleives in my wide smile and chirpy chatter, he is the only one who sees the pain in my heart and disappointments in my eyes.
I can rant, rave, yell, cry, kick and throw tantrums and he will just listen and peacefully explain why things did not go my way or why it cant. I have never faced rejection and in moments of loneliness his thoughts can lift my soul up.
He reaches my thoughts and touches my being in many simple ways,
A whiff of fresh air,
Soft music,
Silence,
the pitter-patter of rain,
the rambling of an ocean,
smiles of people,
greenery around
my favourite song in the choir
and I feel his omnipresence always -
And Jeez yes,
I am talking about you,
My FRIEND and My SOULMATE!!!
Do I love him? No, I just adore him. Known him since my early childhood and the kind of conversations that I had with him, I never had it with anyone else in my life. He is so understanding, patient, loving, kind and caring and best of all he is there whenever I need.
He's a big guy but I guess whenever I have needed him, he's been next to me answering my call. There are no secrets between us, there definitely are some secrets that are just ours alone. There is just noone between us - just HIM and ME.
He works in mysterious ways and to me offers 24/7 service and is willing to sit up with me as long I need. Has made me feel many times that I am the only person who has mattered to him in this entire world. I feel great with him around.
The trust that I have on him is growing by the minute and God, I wonder what I will do without him! The best part of our friendship is I'm myself with him. No pretensions ( it wont work with him ) No predudices, just Love and its' such a bliss to have known someone like him. He can read my mind with such clarity that therez no point in hiding facts to him.
He is my confidence, his acheivements are my motivation and I turn around to him and only to him in times of despair and tears, 'coz I know he is the only one who truly understands me. Yes, when the whole world beleives in my wide smile and chirpy chatter, he is the only one who sees the pain in my heart and disappointments in my eyes.
I can rant, rave, yell, cry, kick and throw tantrums and he will just listen and peacefully explain why things did not go my way or why it cant. I have never faced rejection and in moments of loneliness his thoughts can lift my soul up.
He reaches my thoughts and touches my being in many simple ways,
A whiff of fresh air,
Soft music,
Silence,
the pitter-patter of rain,
the rambling of an ocean,
smiles of people,
greenery around
my favourite song in the choir
and I feel his omnipresence always -
And Jeez yes,
I am talking about you,
My FRIEND and My SOULMATE!!!
Monday, October 24, 2005
Finally blogging
Here I am sitting in front on my comp
and FINALLY BLOGGING!!!
There is a flood of thoughts and I really
dunno what to write
I am looking at this as a sounding board for myself
that I will sound my ideas thougts my dreams my feelings
and one day where I could look back and cherish the moments
I once enjoyed or at times feel stupid about myself :-)
and FINALLY BLOGGING!!!
There is a flood of thoughts and I really
dunno what to write
I am looking at this as a sounding board for myself
that I will sound my ideas thougts my dreams my feelings
and one day where I could look back and cherish the moments
I once enjoyed or at times feel stupid about myself :-)
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