Friday, December 17, 2010

I tried hard...

not to cry.. but the tears wouldnt stop.  They were streaming down my cheeks.  When I suppressed they streamed down my nose  :-)

not to think of all that was said.  but couldnt help it either.  everything came back to me hitting me harder

not to be so negative - didnt help.  every damn thing looked ugly

to eat - not a morsel would go down my throat.  finally settled for a hot coffee.  It helped.

not to search for your face in the crowd - that was the only thing that i was looking for.  So I stopped looking at people

to be normal - the lumps in the throat kept choking me and I was far from being normal

to read dynamic relationships - I wasnt progressing beyond a line and anyway when eyes are full, vision is blurred.

strking a conversation with a old friend who I met after ages - and realised I was stopping every now and then and my thoughts were back to you. 

to make sense of myself - nothing, absolutely nothing made sense

not to think of last time - I was only seeing mirages all around

not to be angry with myself - I was so angry with myself, if I had a chance I would have slapped myself for being so silly.

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