not to cry.. but the tears wouldnt stop. They were streaming down my cheeks. When I suppressed they streamed down my nose :-)
not to think of all that was said. but couldnt help it either. everything came back to me hitting me harder
not to be so negative - didnt help. every damn thing looked ugly
to eat - not a morsel would go down my throat. finally settled for a hot coffee. It helped.
not to search for your face in the crowd - that was the only thing that i was looking for. So I stopped looking at people
to be normal - the lumps in the throat kept choking me and I was far from being normal
to read dynamic relationships - I wasnt progressing beyond a line and anyway when eyes are full, vision is blurred.
strking a conversation with a old friend who I met after ages - and realised I was stopping every now and then and my thoughts were back to you.
to make sense of myself - nothing, absolutely nothing made sense
not to think of last time - I was only seeing mirages all around
not to be angry with myself - I was so angry with myself, if I had a chance I would have slapped myself for being so silly.