Wednesday, September 05, 2012

A meticulous CON job

Oh no ! this is not a tutorial in a conning lesson or a 101 session on how to get conned.

Without spending time on a prelude, let me go ahead and tell you what I intend sharing.

We live close to the asia’s largest perishable goods market, Koyambedu, and thats a place we haunt occasionally on some weekends ( especially when we have the energy to walk and lug some weight around) for stocking up fresh veggies and fruits at home. With my son turning into a Vegetarian, that I have described here,  I have the responsibility of coming up with innovative ideas in veg preparations, to make sure he gets sufficeint nutrients that i feel he is missing by not eating non-veg food.

Hubby dear belongs to the energetic lot so I make sure I take an energy drink to keep up with his large striding leaps while walking.

So this was one of the weeks when I lost most of the energy in shopping for veggies and was not very energized to move on to the fruit market. Koyambedu is a large market which sprawls 100’s of acres and you really need a lot of energy to walk around the place and its definitely not the cleanest of places for a pleasant walk. However, since we were already there, thought of quickly picking up the fruits and I went to the first vendor who was at the entrance of the fruit market. The apples looked really good, and I had the luxury of choosing bright Red juicy apples and the vendor weighed them and put them in a black polythene cover and handed them over to me.

I imagined how those apples will contrast my new beige coloured table cloth that I had newly purchased and made a mental note of putting the apples in the oval brown wicker fruit basket in the centre of the table.

Picked some more stuff from the fruit market and landed home.

I get energized when I have to organize stuff ( wherever it is). Most of my friends have called me to come over to their homes to organize their wardrobes and cupboards after they saw mine. I remember how I used to organize Anita’s (my friend at the earlier org) desk at workplace whenever I went to her desk. I am working on my commissions for the activities :-) after which I plan to market my services to these people.

Organizing fruits is the easiest (very few gets into the fridge) and putting away the veggies takes a longer time and hence finished the veggeis first, all the while imagining how good those red apples are going to look on my new table cloth in a wicker basket. ( Silly me)
So finally I opened the black polythene cover and Lo and Behold, I see pale yellowish apples quite ugly looking and definitely not the ones I picked up . If I had picked up first quality apples this was like some third or fourth quality apples. I didn’t even want to put them on the table.

I was fuming that this guy cheated me in the broad daylight and I was wondering how this fellow managed to cheat me having seen him putting the apples in the black polythene cover and handing the very same cover to me. I did unleash my fury over this to my hubby dear who was equally surprised at the colour change of the apples, but I guess he left it at that. This was going on in my head and I was determined to figure out how this conning job worked.

I must have cribbed to him many times and Joe kind of sensed my purpose and tried distracting me by doing all the shopping himself for a couple of weeks in supermarkets around his workplace. So, I had to wait till I got back to Koyambedu a while later.  This time ( actually I wanted to go to the fruit market first but hubby dear gave me a look that would melt adamantium and so I tagged along with him to the veggie market ) so after all that veggie haul I stood there watching carefully how this conning drama unfolded.

Most of the vendors there blatantly follow this ritual of conning and I am sure many like me are victims to this act.

This is what they do. There are prepacked, neatly knotted (obviously with the low quality stuff) black coloured polythene covers that are kept down near the feet of the vendor and the vendor is sitting down in front of a small raised platform. When a customer comes in they are allowed to pick up the fruits they would the to buy and he carefully packs it in a black polythene cover and ties a skillfull knot and keeps it on his /her lap in the pretext of collecting money. He then takes money from the customer and instead of picking the polythene cover on the lap, (that is packed with the customers choice of fruits), he picks the prepacked cover quite naturally, that is quite close to his lap ( and cleverly hidden from the customer who is choosing the fruits). I was standing behind the vendor with hubby dear and was watching this. So I unraveled the mystery, and my blood was boiling. I wanted to alert that customer who just then picked it up and create a hue and cry and Joe literally dragged me out of that place saying that everyone there will gang up against us and we will be no match for their language or behavior.

Had to leave the place without fruits for the week and had to listen to Joe’s sermon on how I cannot afford to get impulsive in such situations.

I will never pick up anything from a vendor without cross checking if I really have what I have picked ( atleast in Koyambedu) If at all I get to go back there.

Conned but a good lesson learnt.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

A tribute to my Love!

This week ( 20th to 26th of August) is celeberated as Madras Week and every news daily worth its salt ( in Chennai) is writing about it elaborately through multiple columns and initiatives. Every time I read a small tidbit or an article about Chennai, my heart swells with pride. Can you imagine my joy when all these imminent people who rave about this city are going gaga over My city, My Chennai.

I can be called a migrant of Chennai, but I have embraced her with a love that I have reserved only for this city. My Parents hail from the district that is called the cultural capital of Gods own Country and my Dad came here half a century back for a job that he was committed to, and when he got married they made Chennai their home. My mom was taken to her parents place when she was heavily pregnant with me, ( the first childbirth happens at maternal place, traditionally) and so I was technically born in Kerala. I stayed on there for 8 months or so and landed in Chennai as an infant – I guess I fell in love with Chennai even back then ( Awww you know I am making that up !)

As a child my parents dutifully took us ( me and my siblings) to Kerala to spend our complete 2 months summer vacation every year in both my Parents’ ancestral homes and the strong ties I developed with my extended families of aunts, uncles and cousins can be credited to that. Kerala is yet again another scenic place with greenery and beauty all around, its truly as though God tried his hand at art work out there.

I remember my cousins jokingly remark that the Pandi’s have arrived, when we reach Kerala, probably the first of the racist comments I have heard in my life. I was young and Naïve then and I used join them in the laughter and fun poked at us. Paandi is a derogatory term used to refer the people of Tamilnadu, guess it comes from the Pandiyaas who ruled over Tamilnadu way back. And most of the Tamils in Kerala then were into Manual cheap labour, I guess that’s the reason for sarcasm. ( For those who are not familiar with Chennai, It is the capital of Tamilnadu, one the 31 states in India, and is in the southern tip of Indian peninsula and earlier called as Madras). Today none of them would dare say that to me, ( let me also add here that I have a wonderful set of cousins we are a close knit lot and are regularly in touch with each other, though we are in different parts of the world today) I would defend Chennai and the so called Paandi’s tooth and nail with anyone who would even dare to utter that today. That’s a different story altogether. But end of two months summer vacation and I wanted to be back in Chennai.

There is an unwavering love for Chennai in me and which was brought to the fore, when I had to live out of Chennai the first time in my life for around 2 years in a gorgeous hill station with so serene surroundings, anyone else would have wanted to settle down there. My first job landed me in Yercaud, so different from Chennai in all aspects, but I had this perennial longing to get back to Chennai – inspite of all that Yercaud, a hill station had to offer. I enjoyed every moment there, but deep down I used to miss the PTC buses, Suburban trains, the autos, the malls ( back then it was Spencers, Fountain plaza, Cisons complex), the beaches, libraries, theatres, the restaurants, Mount Road, Central Station, Parrys corner, T nagar, Pondy bazaar, Cathedral road, filter coffee, Vandalur Zoo, the museum, Planetarium, ECR and can you imagine even the morbid Madras Bashai 

When people tell me you are a malayalee, but you speak such wonderful Thamizh without the accent of a Keralite, I feel so good. Yes, I speak Thamizh and not Tamil. I still have people who look at me and ask so you can speak Tamil? And I reply “Yeah, I can read, write and speak Thamizh”. I consider it a great language, and the only other reason I would attribute to my first mark in English and Second language ( that happens to be Thamizh) in my Twelfth grade at school is my Geminian flair for languages. A disclaimer here though My flair for languages I guess have dimmed over a period of time from those days, I see some wonderful blogs written by some great bloggers that wax eloquence and intelligence together that I wonder how people even tolerate my writing  I digress here, though.

I should tell you this – in 2003 I decided to improve my professional qualification and enrolled into a MBA programme offered by Madras University ( while I have done a certificate course from Harvard University and U21, I still take pride in my UG and PG degrees from Madras university ). It was a part-time MBA which means I had to put up with a grinding schedule. I worked till 5. 45 pm and had to get into my classes at 6.30 pm which went on till 9.30 pm and reached home only at 10.30 pm. The college that I enrolled held classes in Nungambakkam, my work place was Teynampet and I was at that time, residing close to Guindy. The ones who know Chennai will tell these three places are not quite close to each other. So travelling back home late at night was an everyday affair, and me being a studious one never missed a class unless it could not be avoided, the absence I mean. I NEVER was scared of this city in those three years while travelling late night and I still feel safe to travel alone even late nights here. Until recently, in my earlier job, where I had to travel quite a bit, I used to take a late night flight from various cities in India, and reach home well after midnight in a cab. Its as though I know the city well and she knows me in turn.

In my 42 years, ( yeah that’s my age folks) I would have missed living in Chennai for say approximately 5 years, and these 5 years life has taken me to very different places on the globe both in India ( I cant list the cities and towns I visited here, that’s a really long list, though I haven’t ventured much up North) and abroad ( this I can list out actually it’s just a few) Wilmington (US), New York, Washington DC, Paramatta in Sydney, Melbourne, Singapore and Malaysia – Folks its not as though I never stepped out of Chennai and am drooling over her. Oh I am amazed at the cleanliness and the ultra modern amenities and services that are non-existent in Chennai and I am mesmerized by these cities that I have been to, in the initial days of my stay there, but soon, I have this longing for the sights and sounds that is unique to Chennai. Certain smells of Chennai still repel me, but that’s not a deterrent for my love for her.

Be it the cruel sunshine of May, or the literally non-existent monsoons, or the havoc laden cyclones that’s a regular affair year after year, which comes with the single minded focus of hitting Chennai and loses steam when it comes closer to Chennai, probably charmed by Chennai and normally drifts off to our neighboring state, the sultriness and humidity with which you can make anyone sweat and make everyone look at you with disdain.. No, I still don’t complain about the weather – 42 years is no joke, you see. You get used to it obviously.

Chennai, Madras to be precise ( I still somehow cannot shed the angelical colonized version of its name) is the place that shaped me to what I am today, She has delighted me with her cuisine that is uniquely hers alone, she has embraced me like she has embraced millions of migrants, allowed me to hope, dream, grow and fly to wherever I wanted to but always have waited for me to return to her patiently, gave me the sense of freedom and yet immense safety, memories of a happy childhood, youth and now home for my son, who loves it as dearly as me.

This is the place where I learnt to read, write and speak, value human relationships, her culture taught me to treat people all the same and not based on colour, creed or religion and this place also gifted me a medley of long lasting friendships. This is where I have laughed, dreamed, loved, cried, hoped and prayed the most and also had colossal fun. This is the place where I took my baby steps in education, profession, marriage and family, in short LIFE. Chennai is a city with a soul of its own and it gave me Roots to grow and wings to fly.

Today you complete 373 years. I am reminded of Shakespeare’s lines “Age cannot wither her nor custom stale her infinite variety.. “

Happy Birthday Madras.. ooops you are now Chennai, from someone who has made this place her home and loves you with all her heart. :-)

Monday, August 20, 2012

Q for Quilling

I remember mentioning here, that I managed to start quilling which was pending for a long time in my ‘To do list”. My starting to quill is like water suddenly gushing out of a metro water pipe in Chennai. It will stop any time, without any notice. I think it is just a form of satiating my urge for busting accumulated stress. I might not eventually become a Quilled card expert. Until I fathom another fantasy, this may go on.

Why this new found attraction? I have no rhyme nor reason, but I believe there is a time and season for everything, and I made the best use of my time at the hospital for Quilling. And Quilling I did.

I started with two cards and worked on the base for both the cards at the hospital. I managed to complete one at the hospital (which was easier as I had a lot of uninterrupted time, with Sonny boy watching TV most of the time) the second one was more difficult as I had to make myself some time after I got back from work and took care of the domestic needs at home. There are times when I am glad hubby dear comes home late – these are few occasions.

While there are several special people in my life, including you readers, (the very effort that you bother to read my blog, makes you special and people like Ramesh, Gils, Jayanthy and Diana, you folks are simply splendid, you even leave me comments :-) :-)- Trust me, I feel honoured that you choose to stop by in the first place let alone comment,) since it is a near impossible task for a novice quiller like me, to create so many cards, I chose two friends.

My first card has to go to a special person, and I decided to send it to a friend whom I have known for precisely 22 years and someone who I can take for granted as much as my mom and dad. I don’t take my parents for granted these days, with their age catching up, but until Petula grows old I can continue taking her for granted. Her Birthday was on August 5th and she was overwhelmed to say the least, its been a long time since we exchanged cards, though we used to exchange a lot of cards while we were in our prime time of our youth read as pre-marriage days :-).  I still treasure every single card that she has sent me and that’s a big box of them. She probably has sent me the most cards, ever in my life

She messaged me saying that she proudly displayed the hand made quilled card that I had sent her to her family who gathered for the birthday party.

The next card from the first batch went to the person described here – a friend who is family again. She was coming from Singapore for a short holiday and I was meeting her on a weekend. The best I can give Anita is my time and love and I know she would value it – that was another 4 more hours. This time in bits and pieces, and starting from where I had left, (multiple times) actually took some extra time. No improvement on my time there, but I had tried two different styles in both the cards.

As expected Anita was happy, I saw it in her eyes and I had the pleasure of explaining about quilling to her entire family. Her family got to see the card even before she did.

And here are a couple of snapshots of the cards. This is my first ever handiwork on quilling, and I had spent around 4 hours on each of them. I am just a beginner you see. Realised this needs truck loads of patience, good lighting and the motivation for me was the faces of Petula and Anita. Every time my back ached, I ran out of patience their smiles ( to be specific, the loud guffaw of Petula and the shrieking giggles of Anita that came to my mind) kept me going.

Pardon my indulgence in showing off more than a couple of snapshots of the cards.



Post Script:

I was at Petula’s place this week for a brief while, and I saw the quilled card displayed on a small table along with her family photographs. The table is itself a show piece which had around 4 different family portraits and bang in the middle of them was my card, standing as proudly as the family portraits. I realized I have made no mistake in choosing my friends – they know my value as much as I know of theirs.

Friday, August 10, 2012

An ode to my Big Mamma

My mom’s mom, who is called Ammama by all the 13 grand children ( their spouses, wherever applicable) and 4 great grand children is a very important part of my life and is a central focus of my childhood memories.

She is 93 years old and lives with her son’s family. I dedicate this poem to her and her perseverance.

Holding on to your little finger
I have roamed around the ancestral home
I remember the strong hands, smell of soil,
the hugs, love, care, concern and
most of all the treats to my palate
with your simple yet amazing culinary abilities.

You gifted me my best childhood memories
of Joy, happiness, safety and warmth
in my truly nascent years
along with those countless happy
and carefree days of pure bliss
that’s an inseparable part of my Summer holidays.

You could understand my need, my worry
my happiness and all my myriad set of emotions
as a teenager, just from my voice and
you disciplined me in your old conservative ways.
Even when I rebelled against them
you loved me unconditionally.

When I grew up to my big day, my wedding,
you were there to bless me with the priceless
gift of your presence
never forgot to get back to me
to nurture me during my gestation
and for post natal care.

You embraced my better half
with a love that he had never experienced
making him part of your brood in no time.
When my son was growing up
you showered the same love,
you once smothered me with.

Today, I look into your eyes to draw a blank.
You do not recognize me, my voice.
I still hold your hands
I still talk to you,
silently cursing the demon Alzheimer’s
That is slowly but steadily devouring you

But then,

Just, once in a while,
I see a spark in your eyes
And I instinctively know for that split second
You know who I am
And I can go on for ages talking to you & waiting
for that one flash of a moment.

Love you Ammama, Loads and loads.

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

Be careful what you wish for

Have you heard this wise adage?

I have heard this too...  just that I wasnt really careful about what I was wishing for.

I have been wishing for a holiday for a really long time, you know the kind where there is a lot of lazing around, reading, a generally a laid back time where I can do things that I want to, without the hassle of domestic household activities.

I guess when we wish for something, we need to be really careful and work on the details or else we would end up with something that we totally dislike but in all probability would match the specifications of our wish.

Take my case for example.

Last Sunday began like any other sunday - but sonny had a little accident at home, and has fractured his 5th metacarpal.  Looked like a minor fracture, but that was not to be.  We had to admit Sonny boy at the hosptial and doctors advised that a POP ( plaster of paris) would render his right hand (yeah the fracture was in the right hand) motionless for the next 5 - 6 weeks and the results may not be predictable.  The other option is going for a surgery and fixing a Titanium plate on his 5th metacarpal, so that he can start writing in a weeks time. He being in the 12th grade does not tolerate 5 - 6 weeks of inactivity and after some deliberations hubby and I reluctantly took up the latter option, though Sonny boy tried his best to persuade us into agreeing for a POP, not that he was worried about the surgery, he is a brave boy, but the POP will give him an option to skip writing for the next 5 - 6 weeks.

The surgery was scheduled for tuesday and with Gods grace it went on well.  So you see we are still at the hospital, and I am keying in this blogpost from the comfort of my attender bed.  oh yes, made sure that Sonny boy is fed, medicated, taken care of and has slept.

I have time to simply laze around, yeah I do have time to read, no house hold chores, the canteen in the hospital serves good food and kind of relaxed now that the surgery went off well.   So you get my point? about being careful of what you wish for.  All my specifications are met, except the objective.

Anyways, I see positivity in most of the situations and here is how I used this time to my advantage..

1.  I got a lot of uninterrupted time with Sonny boy - casually talking, bonding with him and for a change topics that are different from his studies, grades and school.

2.  When Sonny boy was sleeping, I had a lot of time to think about my life, where I have reached in life, my priorities and what next (so on and so forth - not that I have taken major decisions in life, but I had time to stop and think)

3.  Dennu, (sonny boy) is a sensitive teenager and unless prodded does not spill any beans.  He is also trying hard to reach up to the expectations of his parents of being independant young man - okay, why am I beating around the bush? Let me come to the point. He simply does not allow me to feed him food.  sounds funny yeah.. to me too.. it sounds funny.  But there are these maternal instincts that pop out without any warning and I do these stupid things like trying to give him food saying, Dennu taste this and out comes his hand and takes it from me, whereas I am actually using that as a pretext to feed him. He somehow does not like it and I think he takes over his father in that.  I remember my mom feeding me even after my marriage - I still would allow Mom to do that. To cut the long story short, Sonny boy after the surgery has a crepe bandage on the right hand and the drips are on the left hand, and has to be fed.  Can you imagine my Joy?  Sheer Bliss.  I have fed him 6 meals till now.. and thats after so many years. The joy is manifold when he calls me and says, Ma, I am hungry can you give me my lunch / dinner whatever.. The doctors have advised to stop the drips tomorrow, so he can use his left hand to eat, till then I will satisfy my maternal instincts.

4.  Been wanting to do quilling for a long time..  almost close to a year.  Never found the time, though I had picked up the quilling tool kit some time back.  This was the perfect time for quilling and I have an expert giving me his opinions on colour combos and the design etc.,  I have managed to complete the design of a card, the photograph of which I will post later.  ( a topic for another blogpost)

5. Also realised and I think, this is a great take away for me - How ever independant and healthy we all are, it just takes a moment's time for things to change.  Our lives are so fragile and our independance is actually hanging on a very thin thread of destiny and its absolutely not in our control no matter how talented or capable we are..  Not that I didnt know, but it is important to value people and relationships and enjoy and live the moment that we have got.

hmmm..

Now for something quite interesting during the last three days, remember the bonding and all the conversations that Sonny boy and I are having?  He was being wheeled into the Operation Theatre and he asks me, Mamma, can you tell the doc, to fix the Titanium plate in such way that when I want, the Titanium plate can come out just like how Wolverine can bring out his Adamantium claws - Mamma wide mouthed and almost faints.  This is after all his rehearsals on Monday about how he is going to tell all his friends about the extra bit of metal in his fist as soon as he is able to go to school.

He was actually a little disappointed with the size of the metal piece as seen in the post op X-rays :-)

That reminds me I need to tell  my Sonny boy " Be careful what you wish for"

Friday, July 27, 2012

Time waits for no one - Never in a Gazillion years

“Time flies” is a well worn, beaten to death cliché until each one of us experience it ourselves one fine morning, and then the intensity of this expression hits us. :-) I look back now and realize that its one full year since we moved out of our home in Chennai into an apartment (in another part of Chennai) and made this our home.

In 2007, when we moved into our own independent house ( yeah we can call it that it has a compound wall, we can feel mother earth in tiny patches and there is a terrace that we can call ours – ignoring the fact that if I extend arms from my terrace I can touch my neighbors parapet and the coconut trees in my neighbors house actually look like our own, if these silly stuff are discounted, its still an independent house for definition sakes), at least I never dreamt that I would move out of that place for a long time to come.

When we changed Sonny’s school, that he hates right now, it was difficult for him to travel to his school which was at least 15 kms away and the metro rail that is coming up en route was not helping in any way to reduce the travelling time. My son was moving into class Eleven and there needs to be so much focus into studies, we decided to put him in the current school and anyways it was just for 2 years until he completes his class XII. So hubby and I decided to make his life simpler so that he gives undivided attention to his studies (we realized that it was already difficult with the grinding he was getting at school) and we confirmed the move. Sonny was the unhappiest and felt sad about leaving his room. He says he still misses his room. He loved his room for whatever reasons, many of which I do not endorse. His room was on the first floor so he got a lot of undisturbed time, with me feeling lazy to go up to check on him for one. And many other such stuff.

Once the move was decided, we just took a week’s time,( to the surprise of our entire family - read the parents and other relatives) to find a house, get movers and packers and actually move. With all the stuff that we had accumulated in a large house for over 4 years we realized the kind of junk we can stockpile in a house without actually being aware of it. And we told ourselves, the moment Sonny finishes school we are going to be back to our own place. For one, our own house was planned in detail and so much of effort has gone into it, and two we were all sentimentally attached to it.

Now Dennu, that’s how we call our Sonny boy normally, from the new apartment, can cycle to his school in less than 15 minutes and imagine he does not have to go through any main roads. The apartment is a very nice place, quite spacious lot of facilities that we do not have in our own place, like a Swimming pool, basket ball court, a gym, play area for children etc., Being an apartment the cleaning /dusting /wiping and arranging bit is much easier – let me tell you I am a compulsive maniac at it, but it still is not our “own” place. You get the feeling?

So I was calculating today and I realized in another 9 – 10 months we got to move back. I am looking forward to it and I probably would be the first woman on earth who loves to shift. And I already have prepared a list of 32 (yeah just 32 alterations which will make us a few lakhs poorer, but what the heck) that we need to do before we get back to our “own” place. I have been dropping hints, messages to hubby dear about the changes I have in mind, but haven’t yet shown the list to him. You see I am the organized kind so I have an excel sheet that has the changes, approx cost and the total cost. Need to prepare him adequately before actually showing him the list. He will realize yet again sadly, that lessons in prudence over indulgence has not had an effect on me, even after 17 and a half years of sermons at home.

So today I was wondering about how soon time flies and before we realize, a year flies by, with a whole lot of changes in our lives.

Just a doubt though at this point in time. Does time fly faster when you are older? Oh no I am not OLD as in old. :-() just generally checking!

Saturday, July 21, 2012

A lazy saturday morning and a reason to be thrilled to bits

Today is one of those days that I wish were in plenty in a month.   After sending  Sonny to school, (he insisted on a lunch from his canteen probably fed up of my lunches, no he specifically said all his friends were planning to eat together at the canteen today,  with hubby dear away on a trip and will not return till this evening, read midnight,  the compulsive cleaning / dusting /vaccuming  of our home done last saturday, today looks like a dreamers paradise.

Havent been getting any ME time of late,  and I am determined to make the best of the day.  After a quick breakfast I sat down to give a hard look at my blog, added some gadgets, do you see the difference on my bliog? ( BTW, Vincy Who are you speaking to?  Still fantasising a reader base?  - just a little self-reprimand folks) and also blog waltzed into reflections.  I should say the blog is simply good and my kinda space.  Loved reading everything that i managed to read in a couple of hours.   Like I mentioned in the comment that I left her, truly felt like a kid in a candy store. :-) yep I left a comment for her following one of her tips in her blog post.

I  really didnt have a topic in mind when i started to blog today and I know some days the topic evolves and you stumble on stuff enexpectedly, like how met Diana online. :-)  I have to tell you something about my self, I have been dilly dallying about changing the look and feel of my hair  for the last 5 years.  yeah you saw it right it was last 5 years.  

I even tried temporary stratightening a couple of times to check how it actually looks and though I was convinced about the way my hair fell on my shoulders, I was wondering if i might lose more hair or if i will damage what i already have.  I should tell you this, I like my original texture of my hair and though it is not as thick as it used to be when i was younger, its still decent and I do end up getting some compliments for my hair.  Its just that the devil gets into your head sometimes and just plays some pranks and some of these thoughts never get away until you give in to the temptations.

I know I will not get any support from my hubby dear as he feels strongly against anything done to my hair - just that he stopped commenting on it these days as he knew I cannot be controlled on matters of mane.  :-) So finally I took that important decision just before my birthday that I am going in for an hair smoothening treatment and told myself that this one i am doing for myself, a gift to myself on my 42nd birhtday and nothing was going to stop me.  I also wanted to surpirse ( to be read as create displeasure) everyone at home and booked an appointment with my beautician. 

If you read my earlier post here, you would know my dad had a surgery on my birthday and my date with the beautician had to be cancelled.  With my dad going through a surgery i was in no mood to go in for a life defining decision for myself.  So it got put off to later and finally I got it done the beginning of this month and I should tell you I just love the feel of it.  It feels good, my hair does not feel messy these days, not many bad hair days and the best part is even in the dust and grime of Chennai where i live, I manage to leave my hair loose.  I just love running my fingers through my hair, the hair fall surprisingly has reduced - i was so worried, I even begged pardon to my hair for putting it through chemical and heat treatments as part of this process and was pleading it not to protest by dropping off.

So, I am loving myself and I also coincided my hair smoothening just before my team meeting so I got to show off my new found fantasy.

I am now leaving you all with a picture taken during the meeting that I was MCing, by one of my silent team mates without my knowledge,

Dont I look quite content with myself?  I am.

Folks you would do me a favour if you leave a comment. wont you? besides, I truly  would love listening to you, so dont forget to leave a comment on my blog :-)

Friday, July 20, 2012

Tears

They threaten to peep out
Uncontrollably. Any moment.
Got to remind them relentlessly
They are precious expressions
Not to be wasted on inane stuff
 
They retreat without a trace
Leaving their sting of saltiness
on a open raw wound
I nurse the throbbing wound
In realization, its not easy to heal
 
Pain, now is soothing
‘cos it is better than dignity besmirched
One day in the future, a zillion stings later
The wound will begin to heal
Time, unmistakeably, is a great healer
 
Till then
Silent. Forlorn. Wounded.
I continue persistently
to give lessons in obedience
To my precious tears.

Vincy Joseph

Monday, July 02, 2012

Alone in the woods

The road is winding and long
And I see as far as my eye can see
I am alone with no one around
loneliness pricking into my bones.

I am still trying to enjoy the walk
Hoping someone ostensibly caring
And so full of love
Will come along the journey

Is it too much
to ask for kindness and care
Someone who would really
Be there for support

Every question has an answer
And every answer shreds the heart
Into a million pieces and
Its obvious you don’t care anymore.

Shrapnel of words
Destroying all that comes its way
Hits in disbelief, disdain
Leaving just an image without a soul

Wish you could see the pain
Behind every action and smile
Worser still is the fact that
You never look at my eyes

Makes me want to run for cover
Hide from the world
Close my eyes and get into a slumber
But I know

The road is winding and long
And I see as far as my eye can see
I am alone with no one around
loneliness pricking into my bones.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Lost and Found


The joys of finding some object after having lost it ( unless you have lost it intentionally ) is something of great elation to all of us. Many of us go to great lengths to find the stuff we lost, look for divine intervention and are persistent at finding and in such cases, most probably, we always find them. I have an experience of finding a pendant gifted to me by my friends which I have described here.

We also lose track of people – don’t we? There are some people from our childhood or from our past that we have lost touch with and spend many precious moments in nostalgia about the good times we have had. And however much we want to be in touch with them, somehow destiny wouldn’t allow you to reach them even in these days of technical brilliance, information transparency and availability of all details public social media. Actually I think it is very difficult to hide from public eye these days. Every action of yours, even your trips to the loo in a public space is being tracked. LOL.

Some very precious people from my life too have vanished altogether and many attempts to reach out to them have been in vain – I am persisting and hoping that will yield results. One such instance is my friend Sumai, who kind of left me in the lurch 7 years back. ( I am not sure who left who in the lurch but I guess each of us had a good role to play in that).

I was hoping that time would take the sting away of losing her, but surprisingly it didn’t. We met while at work in my earlier organisation sometime in the year 2000 or 2001 and we were not the same kind, I would say we were kind of opposites – She was quite, mature and grounded and I was all that she was not. She was a Bengali and I was Malayalee, non-resident in our respecitive states and were in Chennai together (that probably is the closest we could get on similarities) Opposites attract and we hit it off pretty well and in a large group we always knew we were there for each other.

We could see the same ironies of certain situation, humour in the most intense stuff around us and most of all we understood each other – quite deeply. I remember she noticing my slightest mood fluctuations, knew my innermost fears and sometimes put my vagabond soul on a leash. We laughed, talked, shopped, worked, gossiped and were partners in crime and humour during those 4 – 5 years that we knew each other (and that’s a considerably long time). We went on for official get togethers, lunches and dinners shared our simple joys and sorrows, cried on each others shoulders, laughed our guts out at most ridiculous stuff and most of all were good reliable friends.

Sumai had to move to Calcutta as her better half was getting a transfer and it was quite painful for all of us in the group to let her go. She did, only after sharing all co-ordinates and numbers - We were in touch initially exchanged mails, called each other, updated our day to day stuff and she even came down to Chennai once after an year and met all of us. I don’t know how and when but I guess we moved away from each other, slowly but steadily, drifting away only to lose sight of each other completely.

By the time reality hit me, I had a server crash, my email account changed, lost my mobile contacts a couple of times and in short lost Sumai. Then there were frantic attempts to track her down. I was surprised our common friends also had lost her contacts and due to reasons similar to mine. I rummaged through loads of mail and pulled out her home contacts, left scores of messages on the answering machine, called her office only to find she moved out of that organisation long ago and was beginning to lose hope.

While rummaging through the mails I also happened to get her email id and I had shot out a mail to her, expecting a reply immediately which did not happen. Anyways in the first place that didn’t look like an valid email address.

One of the days last month I had a message from an unknown number and it had the most profound message – It said “Hi… Sumita”. I literally sat up for a couple of minutes with a wide grin. Called her and it was as though we didn’t lose each other at all. My first question was “where were you, I have been looking for you for such a long time” and her reply was so much herself “ Vincy, you are in a very good position now, so don’t lie” in a very laid back manner. And we laughed and laughed like old times.

Lost, but found.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

A talk at Industry - Institute Conclave

When the invite to be a "Guest-of-honour" came, I was a litte surprised as I wasnt expecting these kind of stuff, while I am in my current organisation.  In the organisation that I had worked earlier, this was common - I regularly travel to various institutions to give them pep talk and speak about how they can prepare themselves to enter into IT industry, the crucial shifts the students need to make in order to be industry ready.
It is Indian tradition to light a lamp before any occasion
and is considered auspicious

While I was happy that I was called to share my 2 decades worth experience in the Industry-Institute Conclave, to let them know what the industry expects from the institute, I wasnt sure what to expect for.  The organising committee happens to be my ex-boss' freinds and everything went without a glitch. The programme was on 9th of June, a Saturday and I was told it will be attended by people from various institutions ( like the heads of institutions, professors and lecturers) and people from IT industry and after a couple of rounds of discussions, I was clear about my target audience.
Yet another Indian Tradition - Ponnadai
A superfine looking cloth generally made of silk in golden
colour used to put around the neck like a garland for
respecting the august presence of a VIP

The talk I prepared and delivered had the central theme of what the IT industry in particular is expecting from the students who are their resources. So my talk had three parts - After breifly touching upon our Indian Education system, the pros and cons I went ahead and focused on  What can Institutions do proactively to prepare students for their career in IT, What can IT industries in turn can do to prepare the Engineering Students and finally what does the IT industry expect from the Campus Force. My talk was laced with my own experiences of dealing with the Freshers and the IT workforce in my previous organisation.

The presentation went on well, good reception, many people ( especially the institute that organised this conclave) told me that they had some good pointers for the current financial year and every one who spoke after me, referred to many of the points that I brought out.  So, I guess it was a good one - I have some pictures of the Conclave that I was into.  Made sure I was formally dressed for the occasion - am rarely draped in a Saree ( traditional Indian dress), and this time I made an exception to be in one.  :-)  thoroughly enjoyed the session. Hopefully that was the case with the audience too.

The Talk by "Guest-of-honour"
I should mention about how a picture of this talk came in some of the the local dailies and more than me, my parents and family ( including my son) were thrilled to bits. :-)



Saturday, June 23, 2012

Birthday Wishes in many forms

I still look forward to the birthdays and get all excited when family, friends and loved ones call to wish me, and when I get gifts.  I kept wondering if Joe or Dennu would forget my birthday and if they were planning to buy me gifts and what will those gifts be. Silly me, defnitely the pussilanimous species. I know I am opening up on my blog these days, more than ever, but that's immaterial and  does not matter.  I have decided to let my hair down on my blog and be myself.  Thats the prime objective of me having a blog space in the first place.

So, for more than a couple of weeks I have been wondering if my birthday was on their minds and wondering what their plans are and all my doubts were put to rest, when Joe very lovingly asked me what would I want for the birthday.  I guess all my pent up anxiety just peeped out, just the way children run out of classrooms during recess time,  at that very question and I blurted out a long list to Joe ( the list was so long - number one,  he had a wierd expression on his face and number 2.  after a while I guess, heard him snoring).  He never brought up the topic again, which kept me thinking that i over reacted a bit at the slightest prodding.  anyways.

As a mentioned in the earlier post a couple of days prior to my birthday, my brother and I finalised my dad's surgery and somehow my birthday went deep down in my priority listing and infact, didnt matter anymore.  All I wanted in life was a safe and successful surgery and quick recovery for my dad.  The night before my dads surgery, I just could not sleep and was fretting over the surgery to Joe and didnt let the poor soul sleep till 2.30 in the night.

So i didnt read the midnight messages that came to my message box, or the mails till quite early in the morning, while we were driving to the hospital.  Every call that came, I only saw that as an opportunity to ask for a prayer request for my dad - and am thankful I had many.

My Dad ( and ofcourse, others in the family) wished me before he could be wheeled to the Operation theatre and the day was filled with anxious moments of dad being wheeled out of OT, then to the ICU for observation, his first liquid meal, his first solid meal, all those catheters on him and  left for home in teh afternoon only  to check on my twin nephews who were there with my MIL.
Two little fellas, the dizigotic twins ( like the ones in Arundathi Roy's Novel) completely different from each other in their looks, height, weight and mannerisms, that noone would call them twins if not for the similar clothes that they wear.  One of the little fellows announced to me the other  day, they are just 9 years old, that when they marry they would marry twins.   LOL :-)

So, in the evening my brother kept insisting on me coming back to the hospital and I thought it would be a good idea to get my son and nephews to meet dad at hosptial and was trying to get the three musketeers ready and I found them all huddled together over something and the moment they spotted me got into dumb charades.

Birthday card by Jerry
I quickly asked them to have a wash and get ready and I myself was getting ready, which i can do real quick, and when i walked out of the room, the three musketeers had this for me.  The birthday had gone out of my mind completely and so this took me by complete surprise.  My son had a nice gift for me and big card down there you see in the pictures were his and the pink tissue wishes were the ones my nephews made extempore in less than 5 minutes. So lovely they made use of the stuff around and created birthday wishes for me in a jiffy, the moment they knew Dennu had a card and gift for me.

Birthday Card by Jeffrey
Felt very touched and had some wonderful Mamma melting moments along with the Aunt moments and was unprepared for what was awaiting me at the hospital. The men in the family (Dad, hubby - infact, he had to leave for Delhi in the afternoon on an official visit and bro) planned a little surrpise, which had me with moist eyes.  There was a birthday cake, some pizzas and a nice gift from my parents and brother and I had to cut the cake on the trolley table that is used to serve food for the patient - in full view of the patient and surprisingly it was quite Joyous as I could see my Dad smiling through all this.



Dennu's Card


Thursday, June 21, 2012

F.R.I.E.N.D.S


My dad has been in the hospital this week for a surgery ( actually a couple of them) and is recovering well. I am sure prayers from all corners would help. Readers of my blog, please do say a little prayer for him.

I believe in two things in life from the bottom of my .. hmmm..toe… Number one. Prayers. Number two. Positivity.

The decision for a surgery had to taken in a kind of hurry with my brother in town and wanting to complete in when the legal heir ( LOL :-) )  is present. A comfort for my parents. Gave in to all those sentiments while my brother and I had a lot of discussions in finalizing the dates, hospital and doctor. When it comes to a loved one, we are naturally worried and sought after all the prayers that we can garner for.

Had some nice reverse-parent moments when I was waiting for my dad’s reports to arrive and the doctor proclaimed “ You cant ask for a better report” with all results tilted in his favour. I felt so happy and I realized this was how my parents would have gone through my parent teacher meetings :-)
So it was natural that I called my friends, who are really close and the surgery happened to be on my birthday and it helped when people called, I thanked and asked them for a little prayer in return.

My friend Anita as usual was full of support and strength, inspite of the loss she was going through herself, her aunt had passed away suddenly a couple of days back. We comforted each other – She being so far away does not help.

There were scores of cousins and friends of yesteryears, who kept checking on me and dad, constantly, on how he was recovering and assuring me of prayers.

I should mention about Daniel, who was himself in hospital for his daughters’ appendectomy, constantly checking on my dad.

My friend Petula, surprised that I hadn’t mentioned a word about this surgery so long, asked me about the hospital to visit my dad. So I gave her the address and I knew with my parents she is quite comfortable and my mom called back to tell me later in the evening that Petula brought dinner for my parents when she went visiting.

So touched they were about the dinner, they couldn’t stop speaking about it. Its not the dinner, but the intent behind the dinner that overwhelmed me. Inspite of her busy schedule she could make time for this. It is at times like this you realize the one’s who really care ( however far they are from you) and the ones who don’t.

Feel blessed for friends who care, love and allow me the grace of friendship especially when they themselves are going through tremendous pain. I wish I can bring the same care and comfort to all my friends too.

A birthday at hospital ( my birthday folks was on 18th June - wishes still accepted in cash or kind), nevertheless was joyous, no matter what life throws at you, because there is a lot of joy in having a great family and lovely friends along this ride, called L.I.F.E.

P.S:  Dont forget to say the little prayer for my dad :-)

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Wicked Joy of having women friends !

A TON is always special.  This is my 100th post and just as the number suggests a special one.

Having been brought up in a metro, (Chennai is definitely a metro, folks) as a person I do have as many men friends as women friends. I was raised in a suburb in Chennai where there was no dearth for families of my own community and having lived with a large set of second cousins and distant relatives only helped foster these friendships. Today some of my best friends are men with whom there is a bond that dates back to childhood and those growing up juvenile years and memories of those days still bring nostalgia. While I studied in an all Girls school and later all Women’s college and the first two years of work (what a ridiculous fate?) were with women, I never felt funny or inhibited to strike a conversation with a boy (those days) or men because of my background and upbringing. Though today I might not be in constant touch with all those so called “men” friends ( in my mind, I realize with these close friends there’s no such distinction) we all can just pick up conversations from wherever, and move along.

A couple of months back, I was going for a funeral and wanted to know the exact location of the church, ( hubby dear gets worked up if he does not have the right directions, or worse still he will stress me out) and was wondering who would know and instantly this childhood friend flashed up in my mind and I knew he lived there. I didn’t even have to think twice, when I had to dial his number and imagine I had not spoken to him for more than 6 months and we could go ahead with a conversation as if we were talking to each other almost every day. Am making a mental note now to call him coz this reminds me I haven’t called him after that :-) The point is with close friends most of us are comfortable regardless of their gender – that’s why they are our best pals right?

Ever noticed I am writing something tangentially opposite to the blog topic that I start – its becoming a habit. Mental note two. Stick to your topic when you start one.

Okay folks this blog is about Women friends – the kind that I have befriended at my earlier workplace and today most of us work in good positions in different organisations. And that’s a pure “women only group” and does not deserve to be trivialized just because we are wicked to each other.

If I were to record our everyday lunch sessions those days that would be great fodder for interesting blog posts every single day and that would be like leading myself to the gallows straight - With all the information and fun going public in a virtual platform. One of the things that each one of us in the group miss these days in our current workplaces, is the lunch sessions laced with entertainment, torrents of laughter, liberal dose of movie dialogues, lots of sarcasm, pun and of course delicious home made lunch from many homes.

On days when there are no incidents that would bring in laughter from outside our group, or when we do not have enough “matter” to strip some of the folks with whom we used to work then, of their trousers, the group directs its energies on one its members and we do not even spare our spouses, children, relatives and even our extended support systems. I (in fact, almost everyone in the group) have been victim of this group-directed-humor many times and any attempts of mild disapproval to the comments will elicit more damage than before, leading to the group’s general sense of cheap gratification. We are so professional otherwise, the lunch room kind of transforms us, into these wicked avatars, squealing in laughter like school girls and unleashing our potential to tickle up our funny bones. I guess that was a great stress buster for all of us.

Another interesting part of our lunch then was the fact that we ate from any lunch box that anyone brings in and we do not stick to strictly our own boxes. It became such an habit that I ( and of course the others in the group) never feel complete when we do not dig our hands into someone else’s plate during a meal, be it at home, office or a five star restaurant. Not too late to pick some good habits(?) if you had not picked them when you were much younger, eh?

The funniest part was that a normal incident that anyone told will be subjected to an extremely wild outrageous imagination, surreptiously flavored with enough spice and will be narrated during the lunch time with so much deliberation, natural flow, and right amount of collateral damage that it sounds completely believable even for the person who narrated it in the first place and after a while everyone ( including the person who narrated it) remembers only the contrived version and not the original one.

One incident I remember dating back to 2005 was the one connecting me and my travel agent. Joe then was in Manila on an assignment and Dennu and I were to join him there for a month long holiday and I was working with this guy named “Salaam” I do not remember his full name or his travel agency’s name. There were a whole lot of issues in my travel because the Filipinos thought I am a potential settler there and were refusing my Visa and I had to interact with Salaam every day. Mind you I have not seen Salaam even once till date. Two of the women friends from the lunch group sit next to me and with the high decibel levels that I speak normally, there is no need for them to eavesdrop at all and after a month’s conversations with Salaam, this topic started surfacing in our lunch meetings – I got royally ragged along with Salaam, whom none of us have seen, and that poor chap was pulled into every conversation and the group came to a conclusion that even if I do not make it to Manila, I have become good enough to write a book titled “Njanum Ente Salaamum” (the title roughly translates to “Me and my Salaam” only that it sounds a little intimate in a regional language), which would easily be a best seller. I never ended up going to Manila, my Visa was rejected finally and we had to settle down for a shorter holiday at Singapore and Malaysia. The group still remembers this book ( see its as though I have written this book) and almost every incident around this after so many years.

There was one person in our group though, who was not very fluent in the regional language and she got lost many times during the conversations that we had, but nevertheless would pick up pieces and tag along with our conversations at right intervals. Sometimes she used to stop us and ask for translations and we realize her inability to follow supersonic speed delivery of regional language dialogues with various connotations from real life, imaginary and from movies and bring her to speed.

Take for incidence a simple conversation that I had with my maid – she was at my flat then. I was instructing her in Tamil to bring down all the curtains and show the tailor, who would come home, for some rework. But later I realized I missed some vital points for my listeners in the next bays. And I was saying “Sulaiman varuvaaru, neenga ellathayum kazhattittu avarukku kaatidunga” which roughly translates to “Sulaiman will come, you remove everything and show him” – I cannot forget how I got blown to shreds for this piece of dialogue thoughtlessly said over phone. The maid understood what I had to say but this group of so called friends indulged in Distortion, disrespect and downright torture. They can be ruthless ( most of the times). And we laughed about it until it actually hurt..

The best part was we had nick names for most people with whom we interacted at office ( other than the group members ourselves) and we were so deft with these names, that anyone else in the room might not even understand the references let alone our sarcasm. We still continue to refer some people with those titles even today, though we do not work with them now.

The dramatization, humor, right references and the accompanied sound effects makes any conversation hilarious. One of the WW ( wicked women) was explaining something she saw at someone’s home or I don’t remember where.. the conversation went like this “ She has big big..” and there was a undue pregnant pause at the wrong moment. The entire group then came forward, all eyes popping out, and in chorus said “ hmm….. big, big whaaaaat” and the person explaining the actual thread of conversation looks very blank at the entire group and says “Ammies” (grindstones). The Chorus then says.. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. We thought something else.. and there was this high pitched laughter…..whole conversation is dissected and references are made which we cannot forget even today.

One character which got crucified in our conversations those days was a person called CSN. He used to sit in the far end of our wing in the same floor as ours and in a cabin. In fact, he had the corner most cabin in our floor and we do not meet him at all. A very senior person both in age and in position.

Being a “women only group” we notify each other of any interesting “Sale ” that happens around town, at the most trivial opportunity we go out for lunches (our office was centrally located close to shopping malls and restaurants then), and we have even gone for a movie once.

A benevolent member of this group announced the sales at “Naidu hall” - NaiHaa as it is called now is famous for its lingerie collection. And there was a particular brand that a couple of them had picked up and was heavily recommended to the others in the group. I was the only one who could not make it to the sales and that day being the last day of the sales had to leave a little early to catch the sales. But as I was going out of my bay I realized I haven’t told my buddies that and I called out to them “ am going to pick Loveable Acoba”, knowing fully well that none sitting in the other bays will make out what it is. The next day’s lunch topic was how even CSN heard about the sale at Naidu hall (thanks to my decibel levels) and he picked up Loveable Acoba for his family. And our group had this special ability to build on imaginary conversations and make it sound so real… See, how people in no way connected to us, get pulled into our conversations and become an integral part of it?

Recently one of the WW happened to meet CSN in a train, and she couldn’t help laughing because the first thing that came to her mind was “Loveable Acoba”. CSN is a senior head within the organisation and he was very “ matter-of- fact” with this friend of ours and was a little suspicious about the overfriendliness of our friend and must be wondering the reason behind her extra dose of smile.

Today as I mentioned we are in different parts of the globe, in different organisations doing very well but can pick up wickedness where we left if only we can set our eyes on each other, with no less sarcasm and fun in all our conversations. We get to meet each other rarely these days, but if we meet it would be ruckus and fully loaded with fun. God save the souls around us then – we are completely oblivious to anything else.

I sent a picture of my session that I conducted recently announcing to my ex-lunch friends about it and look at the instant responses from three of them.. ( It is important to read it with all the background effects explained earlier)

Response 1: Objection your honor…. Naduvulae irukkara oru vella thols mattum unna paakkaamae vaera engayooo moraikkurraar… how dare…. I’m sure you would have taken some penalty from him… correettaaa… (translation of the regional language bit – the one white person in the centre is not looking at you and is staring elsewhere )
Response 2 : How many AICs ( L2 / L1 Heads ) “Bracketed” so far? Pl update the status :-) :-)
Also how dare to take this snap from long shot…..pl. publish another tight close up snap. :-)

Response 3 : Very impressive .... get them closer to you.. Warmer feel !!! :-)))

Needless to say, I had a mighty laugh and this post is a dedication to the wicked Joy of having women friends and the ethereal connect of our minds, pure fun and laughter that we evoke in each other :-) May our tribe increase !!

Monday, May 28, 2012

Footprints of my Soul

If You can hear my footsteps
Long after I cease to walk..
And know I came visiting
Without having to talk…….

If I can feel the smile in your eye
Long after you cease to see
And know you're looking for me..
And sense the fragrance that I know to be you..
Then I know you love as much as I do..

Then is there a need this tale to tell to the whole?
I know you'd follow the Footprints Of My Soul!

P.S:  
I did not write this poem.  It is pulled out of my archives and am unable to give credits to the author as I do not know the author of this poem.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

A slice of Insanity

Silence is painful
can be deafening too
at times

But it is the indifference
that does me in
and makes it unbearable

Thoughts run amok
and makes me wonder
if you would feel the same

I wish the mindbridges remained
the way it was
atleast then I wouldn't be lost

It is at times like these
I rerun the events and conversations
and smile like an idiot

purely a slice of my insanity !