There was a time, when I used to take my son around everywhere – shopping, for “girls-only” get togethers, programs organized on weekends from office, church and wherever, to office if I had to work on weekends, any party that I was invited then, why even official get togethers. Dennu used to love it and there was a time when my earlier organisation used to allow kids to workplace, especially when the kids had vacations. My condition to everyone around me was, if you want me on the weekend, I come as a package. They had to put up with my live wire and what a dynamite he was!. I was simply helping the guilty soul of a working mother, by this act of kindness to myself.
He continued this until he was in high school and when he reached his 10th grade, he kind of showed signs of disinterest and wanted to stay back home alone, keeping himself occupied with the different gadgets he had at hand. Offlate, he even hesitates to come with us for movies, on the contrary, is very willing to go with his friends anywhere. He is growing up, I know. But as a mother, it is a bit difficult to digest, and I try to remind myself that is no more a little kid.
Having said that, there are many moments, I miss being with him. As a mother, I need to learn to let go, right? I am learning it, but doubt if I will ever master that!
This weekend however was different, we have been planning for Christmas shopping for him, somehow, it just wasn’t happening - either there were some get-togethers at home, or on the days we didn’t, he had classes and it kept postponing. It now came to a stage that we cannot postone it any more and so off we went for shopping after Sunday Mass this weekend, the father had other engagements, and could not make it. He however, dropped us of at the Mall which Dennu wanted to shop.
I realized how nice it was to spend that time together with him. I was enjoying every moment together. As a grown up boy he had his own choices, but was willing to listen to me to try out stuff and once he came back and told me, Ma, your choices are good. I did a mental Yahooooo and a high five for myself, while appearing to be calm and cool. I made sure we took as much time as we could, strolling around the stores, pursuing him to try out stuff, and being there at his beck and call. This may sound simple, but as much as I was a mother, I am a woman too, which means, I had to truly control the reigns my own shopping spree, avoiding even looking at the womens’ section let alone try them, lest my sonny boy would get bored.
As he called out to show me some funny quotes on T-Shirts, and ended up laughing our heads off, I was thinking next year or the year after next, maybe he will tell us, Please give me the money and I will go shopping with friends. May be!
I thought to myself, let me not worry about it now, and went on with our shopping. I could see he was liking it too, as he was smiling and chattering with me through out without any loss of attention to his gadgets. Oh the word Attention, reminds of a Quote that we both laughed about – I am so broke, that I cant even pay attention!
And then finally we finished shopping, I paid the bills and gave the bag of his stuff to him and the most unthinkable happened. He gave me a hug and kiss, in the store, right in front of all those people around us and said Thank you Ma and Merry Christmas. I will tell you why this simple thing is unthinkable to me, this boy does not like any physical show of affection, I have to bribe him already for a hug and kiss even at home and he hates being touched. So its rare that he will hold hands or hug in front of people.
Now, who kind of initiated the hug is besides the point. But this was a nice weekend memory to cherish for the ( always guilty soul of a working) mother in me. Don’t you agree?
Awww , I liked this post so much Vincy, I am sure it is a great gift to the guilty soul of a working mother, as your rightly put it :) but I really liked the way your son went out of his comfort zone to hug and kiss you and let you know how much he liked what you did for him ...and on that happy note Wishing you , your hubby and sonny boy a Merry Christmas and a very very Happy, Healthy and peaceful New year.. lots of love , hugs and hugs... take care..
ReplyDelete:-) :-) :-)
DeleteThanks for your wishes Rekha. We really had a lovely Christmas. Wishing you and family too a great New year ahead. Love you Rekha.
Hey. and I am so glad you liked this post. :-) :-)
Absolutely. Watching the child grow up is one of the most exhilarating and also the most painful part of being a parent. The transition from a parent to a friend is the most difficult of transitions. Your heart yearns for the baby but your mind tells you , let the teen alone and he has to venture alone. Its an impossible conflict to reconcile.
ReplyDeletehat's why when this sort of a thing happens, it is one of the most joyful moments in life. What a lovely Christmas present for you,
Merry Christmas Vincy. Have a wonderful Christmas and a great New Year.
Yeah, that moment was my best Christmas gift ever. Thanks for your wishes Ramesh. We did have a lovely christmas this year with the entire ( well, almost) family from my side, joining us.
Delete:) nice read..semma lovely piece :)
ReplyDeleteIts been a long time since you came around here Gils. Thank you. :-) :-)
ReplyDeleteHello, friend. I wanted to stop by and thank you for being a part of my blog in 2013. You have been a blessing to me. For the coming year, I have a few wishes for you.
ReplyDeleteMay 2014 bring you much joy.
May we all have peace in our homes,
laughter by our firesides,
time spent with family,
and contentment in our hearts.
Be well, my friend.