When you win some, you lose some

Yaaayyy… There is a wedding round the corner, on Saturday, 16th July 2011. Joe’s niece is getting married. Actually this family is so close to us, I seldom remember they are my in-laws. I guess it is a wonderful thing that you get accepted into an in-laws place as one in the family ( you also end up getting brickbats just as much as a family member would, which is a flip side, but considering the love that’s coming my way, its fine) and you feel the in-laws are your own people. I must be really lucky !!!

Last couple of months have been running and rerunning verbal lists and what-to-do’s for the wedding, meeting up at odd hours and finalizing, whitewashing their house ( ofcourse professionals were employed to do this job) and rechecking with each other on the status. With just a couple of days for the wedding and a large entourage of guests coming in from kerala on friday, the activities are going on in great rigor.

Last Sunday J and I came up with multiple lists and both families sat down for discussions at around 11.00 pm. We finalized the lists and came up with a firmed up plan ( finally after several rounds of discussions and confusions) from an earlier jelly like wobbling plan at 2.30 am. We really burnt the midnight oil and of course the AC.

So I finally put all my organizing skills together and came up with a date wise plan for the wedding, in an excel sheet titled Wedding planner with activities and responsibilities assigned to various members in family, date wise and also mentioned the time by which each activity has to be completed. So there are worksheets titled pre 15th, 15th July and 16th July with activities sequenced in time for every day.

After I sent out the mail to the family members on Monday, J sent a mail back saying “great work” –which is equivalent to the Bharat Ratna received from the President in my case. J seldom would appreciate the work that I do and hence any small adulation coming from him is of immense value to me. The bride’s brother wrote back saying Aunty.. Sammadichu.. ( which translates into Aunty I agree you are a genius ha ha ha)

So the lists are done and we are into the final leg of the wedding plans. I am so excited and I am looking forward to this wedding and am hoping that all the events as part of the wedding would go as planned.There is a whole flip side to the wedding – especially when you are on the bride’s side. You have to let go of the bride and bridegroom walks away with his prized possession. When you win some, you lose some. We win a groom and lose a bride.

I am dreading the moment the bride is going to walk out of the house, already. The count down started from last month infact. I am fervently hoping that I will hold on to my emotions. When I got married this child was in std VII, pretty, demure, soft spoken, well mannered, reserved and quiet but very studious and talented and I have seen her grow over a period of time into a fine young woman that she is today. We are pretty close to each other and feel comfortable in each other’s company and have spoken for hours together on multiple topics, especially after this wedding thing came about. I have had the unique liberty of questioning a lot of her decisions, giving my own perspectives on life and such things, supporting her wherever needed, probably giving my shoulder for her to cry and making sure she gets the right perspective on life. We have had some very intense conversations in the last two years and many of them ending in soaking up tissues with tears, justifying her decisions to me and using me as a sounding board for her thoughts.

She is an intelligent girl and I know her decisions would be right and she has the backing of her parents’ good deeds (they are such wonderful people – I probably need a separate blog post on this topic) and I am sure she will do well in life.

I keep telling her that her parents come first to me and only then she would, but I really doubt that statement myself.

But you know what, I am going to miss her like hell after she leaves. Will she ever know this?